Post by Kayla Richards on May 17, 2017 6:18:02 GMT -5
16 Months ago
I needed out. Hanging around the tiny apartment, even with the kitten was too much. I felt alone, Eliza was gone. I was left in the apartment with my thoughts and the silence was too much. I needed to get out. But why do I care so much that Liz isn’t here?. Why is it when we’re apart I feel like my whole world walked out that door?. I look in the mirror and breathe deeply. My eyeliner perfect. My lips a ruby red. My hair done how I love it.
“I can do this.” I breathe deep again, I look at myself in the dress I bought. I shake my head and sigh as my eyes travel down my shoulders to the low cut bust and inwards as the material hugs my frame which due to training over the last few months has become battle hardened and fit. Then it hits me like a brick. “Fuck…” I exclaim loudly with a disappointed shriek. “I really do look like my sister…..”
Too late to change now, I need out, I need something to fill this, emptiness. I slide my hands down the knee height black boot pulling up the zipper as I did on my left foot, I stare into the mirror again on last time and practice a little grin, a win and the ever popular bottom lip bite. I nod and turn making my way out the door, the air is cold and I can hear the music right away from the end of the street.
I walk through the door after showing my ID, the smell fills my lungs, humanity at its finest. The youth of America gathering in places like this with bad music and worse habits. I walk through the crowd looking men up and down, I feel like some kind of predator stalking my pray. I make a little eye contact here, a smile and a wink. None of them really seem to be what I….want.
Come on Kayla. It cycles through my head. It doesn’t matter what he looks like, I just need to do this, to…prove this. I catch him in the corner of my eye, a young guy, same age as me. Dressed a little too neat for this crowd. His hair cut short, a shirt, slacks and a coat. I smirk and walk over, he looks at me and swallows hard I bite my lip and look away shyly.
I got him…
Minutes pass, small talk, light giggling and flirting. Every nasty little trick in the book that I watched Ana fucking Valentine pull to get what she wanted. I lead him away, he seems giddy with excitement and nervous. We find a nice quiet place, our lips come together. Heavy breathing and grinding. I have to take charge. I hear his zipper, but before we can complete the deed…..oh fuck.
“I can’t…stop….” He backs away confused, poor little thing, he can barely stammer out a sentence of an apology for whatever slight or horrible act he believes he has committed. But the fault was mine. The horrible act was perpetrated by me. I nod and brush past him storming off, I walk out onto the street, it’s raining now, pouring. But I don’t care. No no no, it’s real. Fuck. I stop and stare into the window of a nearby car looking at myself. Say it….SAY IT.
"This isn't me....."
14 months ago
“Should we take them food..or something?” Amber looked up from her magazine, her bruises healed, her leg strong enough to fully support her weight without the limp, but her ribs still sore after what Eliza did. She gave me a smile as she noticed me staring at Renee’s “brothers” still outside. “They’re fine…”
“Yes they are” I mumbled under my breath, still loud enough for Amber to hear “Kayla….” I turned with a smile and Amber shook her head getting to her feet. She made her way over to me and slid her hand across the curtain pulling it open. Two men stood outside, both large with long hair. One of them older had a long beard like Renee…
But the other one, younger, fresh faced. Amber clicked her fingers in front of my eyes and I turned my head with a laugh “What?!?!.” She scoffed and shut the curtains. “The one you’re eye fucking…that’s Renee’s cousin…..” I giggled and shrugged, Amber scoffed and backed up. “He’s 19 Kay…first time away from the community…”
I looked outside again and smiled as I noticed him turn and look at me, the older man moved his face away and seemed to scould him. “And the old man?....” Amber smirks. “Renee’s Uncle.”
I can’t help but laugh again, Amber raises her eyebrow as I bite my bottom lip sneaking another look. “What’s his name?...” “Renee’s Uncle?....” I turn my head and furrow my brow in an attempt to look annoyed. “No smart ass…his cousin...” Amber chuckles and sighs. She knows I won’t give up but at the same time, she wants to stop me….
“Fine…I’ll go ask him myself…” I go to the door and unlock it.
“Jace…”
I stop and take my hand off the door knob. “His name is Jace.” I smile and nod at Amber, she hangs her head and folds her arms. “You can’t deflect your feelings and fears about Eliza-“ I step forward and interrupt. “This isn’t about deflecting at all….”
“Then what is this about?”
I roll my eyes and throw my hands in the air looking out the window. “Sometimes….a girl just has to get laid….” I pivot and open the door, I hear Amber coming after me. “Wait..Kay-….KAYLA!”
“Hey Jace….”
He turned to me, shocked, his big brown puppy dog eyes and flowing light brown hair moved as his head snapped around, he swallowed hard and looked around almost in a panic. “What are you doing?” He stuttered and stammered, his hands sliding into the pockets of his faded jeans. “Uh, I’m lookin’ fah my da” Well now it hit me, I always found Renee’s accent annoying as fuck but on Jace, it’s cute. I gave him a little grin and stepped back twirling my hair in my fingers giving him the “cute” eyes…
Shut up…don’t judge me…
“I think Amber sent him to get food…” After I asked her too…shut up…. “So Jace, you like it here?.” He smiled and gave me a nod looking me up and down. “Yah, ah mean cousin Renee spent a lot ta fly us ‘ere…it’s alright I guess” I smiled at him again and just took it in. He was about 6’5, very fit and muscular. Seems to be a running theme…
He had defined cheekbones and perfect eyes, I smiled more and realized I must look like a grinning idiot.
“So uh, you know what I do and what my sister and Renee do?.” Jace smiles and nods. “Aye, ya wrestle. Ah’ve seen ya on the TV.” “Oh?...me” He blushes and looks away, I got him!. “Ah well ya kinda famous back home…”
“Me?...how?” Jace swallowed hard and turned back to me. “Ah well ya sista and Renee and you are popular wit’ all of us. Mam Pleasant always watches…” I laughed to myself, makes me laugh how loyal Renee’s mother is to Amber now. “Oh..so…just cause then?..” I act a little sad and dejected, Jace stutters and stammers again….
“Oh nah I didnae mean tha’ we dun watch ya because ya awesome…” I blushed and looked away, twirling my hair again. “Awesome huh?” Jace’s jaw dropped and he seemed to want to say something, but I saw him stiffen up as he heard the roar of a motorcycle engine. His father came around the corner, I smiled at him and slipped a piece of paper in his hand before making my way back in the house.
