Post by JMav/JGold/RNorth/MKarloff on Sept 25, 2016 7:21:19 GMT -5
RE-INTRODUCING THE JEW BLAZER
#OFF-CAMERA#
In the very very early morning hours in an apartment in Long Island, Kaylee Kassie feels the touch of her boyfriend, Joshua Goldstein. The man known to the world more commonly as the Jew Blazer. The Semitic Superhero. Typically the touch of Josh is a welcome way to start the morning, but Kaylee suddenly feels Josh sink in a half nelson and roll Kaylee over for a pin.
“Hey! What the-” Kaylee says. She looks up at her boyfriend to see that he is still asleep. He was literally running grapple drills in his sleep.
“Joshie, this would be adorable if it wasn't 3 AM right now but as it stands I'm tempted to kick your ass.” Kaylee says before kissing his cheek.
“Hrm?” Josh responds sleepily.
“Nevermind. Sleep.” Kaylee says, repositiong them so she could get cozy again.
-LATER-
The Rec Center was closed but being one of the owners had its perks. Josh and Kaylee had been sparring and running drills all night as Josh was preparing himself for Redemption.
“Again.” Josh says in the ring with Kaylee. The two of them were drenched in sweat.
“Joshie, we've been running the same drill for an hour and a half. You've clearly got it.” Kaylee says.
“I need to get it perfect. Just one...two...six more times and I'll be done.” Josh says.
“What is this about, Joshie?” Kaylee asks, starting to get concerned.
“Uh....training. We're training.” Josh says.
“I know that, but you've kinda gone a little crazy with the training.” Kaylee says.
“Every....every single one of them is going to say the same thing they always say. They're gonna say I'm a joke and that I should quit and I want to nip that crud in the bud as fast as possible. I know that I belong here no matter how many people will tell me I don't. I know I'm not the strongest man on the planet or anything like that but I know I can fight smarter than anyone on this roster. I just...it's not going to come without the studying.” Josh says. There is a moment of silence before Kaylee gently kisses Josh on the lips. She backs away.
“Alright, one more time.” Kaylee says, quickly freeing herself of her clothes.
“Wh-what are you...” Josh says.
“Well if you can get it this time with all the....distraction then you've got it down for sure.” She says.
Josh gulps. It begins again...
#ON-CAMERA#
“I just...no. I'm through. I'm done with wrestling.” a young jaded fan finally says after closing twitter on his phone and putting his phone in his pocket. Nothing but bickering, pettiness, jealousy, bullying, and just general awful behavior. The child puts his hands in his pockets and alone there in Long Island he utters a silent wish.
“I wish pro wrestling could be fun again...” The kid says.
Suddenly, the sky opens up and a hero descends.
“I have been summoned!” The Jew Blazer says, landing with his hands on his hips superheroically.
“Um....did someone summon a Hebrew Rodeo Clown?” The child says. The Jew Blazer seems to have the wind taken out of his sails for a bit but he refocuses.
“I am no clown, young man. I am a Superhero! I am the Jew Blazer and you summoned me because it is my personal mission...along with my best friend Ronnie, to bring fun back to wrestling!” The Jew Blazer says.
“Well Mr. Blazer...I really don't see how that's possible. I mean have you seen twitter lately? All of pro-wrestling seems to be 40 clones of the same smarmy dickhead with tattoos and greasy slicked back hair. And what the hell is Fujiko Friday?” The kid asks.
“Mind the language, son. Well, to answer your last question in a highly inaccurate way, Fujiko was a young Japanese girl with a terminal illness whose dying wish was that pro wrestlers would post pictures of their junk, business, and ta-ta's on the internet in her honor. The internet is weird!” The Blazer announces.
“That's quite a statement coming from a guy dressed like an Israeli Figure Skater, but I see your point.” The kid says.
“It's an important point to make! Do you know why it's so important for Ronnie and I to beat people like Aurora and Damon? Because if we don't, anyone watching will think it's okay to go through life as a terrible and mean person. I'm not going to allow that sort of negativity to permeate the world. Not while there is breath in my lungs! I am going to show the world ONCE AGAIN that a Champion can be humble. No matter how many people tell Ronnie and I we're just a 'comedy act' or that we aren't good enough we show up and we deliver. I've spent my time off training and even won tag titles with a friend I was tagging with on a whim in Empire Wrestling and I still have more fight in me than I know what to do with. We call that Chutzpah in case Aurora and Damon were interested in actually learning anything about my culture beyond their vaguely antisemitic comments. I heard a lot about these two and I was really hoping that maybe they would be different from....you know... absolutely everybody else. No such luck it would seem. I mean, RC and Daisy are a totally rad couple that Ronnie and I have faced before and they weren't jerks! I'd totally party with the two of them! I mean, I'd totally still invite Aurora and Damon because I wouldn't want to be rude but I'd honestly really hope they didn't accept the invitation because I feel like if they did they'd probably kick my dog or something mean like that and they'd complain a bunch about how we were playing old video games and I don't have a....StationBox 12 or whatever. Retro games are better!” The Blazer shouts.
“Do...do I still need to be here?” The formerly jaded wrestling fan says.
“Hm? Why? Do you have somewhere to be?” The Blazer asks.
“Well you've convinced me, so now I'm gonna go see if I can get my mom to get tickets to the Redemption show.” The guy says.
“That's the spirit!” The Blazer says, slugging the kid on the arm playfully. The child waves goodbye and walks away.
“A kindersher saichel iz oichet a saichel.” The Blazer says, Phorry the Wonderdog approaches and tilts her head at him.
“It means 'A Childs wisdom is also wisdom'. I swear I will teach you Yiddish one of these days. Now come on and lets go to the Rec Center. I have more training to do. I'll eat pork before I let another team leave that arena with the tag titles.” Josh says, picking up Phorry and going to call a cab.
