Post by Kayla Richards on Apr 30, 2017 1:53:47 GMT -5
2 years ago
The cab ride from the airport was lonely, I sat there as the fat older man driving stared into his rear view mirror, adjusting it to get a better view. I should have been offended at getting ogled, but I was too busy missing Eliza. The cab pulled up at our ratty old apartment block. While we have that beautiful house in England out main residence is still OUR apartment. But the sight of it made my heart sink.
I threw the cabbie some cash and stepped out with my bags, I looked up to our window and sighed, it was closed. I hoped Eliza just didn’t open it. I hoped she was there. I made my way up the stairs, the pain chipped off the wall in the familiar pattern I had come to somehow find comforting. I got to our floor and took a deep breath reaching out to grab the handle, it didn’t budge. My heart sank, and I swallowed. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t home…..right?
I took out my keys, the door opened and I stepped in, my eyes darting back and forth, looking for something, anything to show me Eliza was home. The TV was off and cold. So was the ps4, the dvd player. Nothing had been moved. It was all how we left it. Including one of her shits thrown over the back of the couch. My heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t been here, she wasn’t at the airport. My mind ached and rushed. I had no idea what to do…..I was lost.
I set my bag down, my phone in my hand. No calls, no texts, no e-mails. Not even a fucking tweet. I closed my eyes and the thoughts and doubts crept in. Did she finally see me for what I was?. Had Ana convinced her I was beneath her family?. Was this Eliza’s way of telling me she was done?. That she didn’t love me?. Tears welled up in my eyes, I couldn’t breathe. I made my way into the bedroom. Our bedroom and then I saw it. A small piece of folded up paper on my nightstand.
I stared at it for what felt like an eternity. Seconds ticked and turned to minutes. My hand reached out to it atleast a dozen times before I pulled back. My feet moved with a mind of their own as I paced back and forth. Finally I had enough courage to open it.
If you’re done planning the destruction of the world come here….
I flipped the note over, there was an address and I swallowed hard pacing back and forth some more. Not know what to do. I looked in the mirror, at a picture wedged in the frame. Elia and myself, her arm around me and I was smiling, happy and content.
I grabbed my coat and keys making my way out, it was a short drive, but the 20 minute drive gave me time to go over any argument in my head. I had no idea what to do, what to say, the cab stopped out the front of a large gated community, I stood in awe realizing the address she gave me was in there. But I couldn’t get in, I pulled my phone out, my fingers fumbling a text about it, then as soon as it send the gate beeped and opened. I swallowed hard and walked in towards the house…and towards Eliza…
2 days later
My head ached, it felt heavy and weighed down. It also felt like someone had dropped a cinderblock on it and smashed down with a sledgehammer. I didn’t want to open my eyes, light hurt. I took a deep breath and realized this didn’t smell like a hotel room, or feel like a freshly turned down bed. In fact it smelled like a….oh come on no….
I hazily opened one eye, the blinding light made my brain pop and crackle like a dozen small explosions just went off. I focus and open them both pushing up on my elbows. A window comes into view, followed by a desk with a laptop, a cup with pencils. And a poster on the wall of the New England Patriots.
I swallow hard and realize, this is a fucking dorm room. I look out the window to see the light is coming from a street lamp, and as I turn my head I see him who is this?. It all comes flooding back to me, the bar, the drink, the fight and then him pulling me from the fight, getting me out of there…..
But then what?. I look around and see my shirt on the floor, it jogs a memory, we stepped into his room, he offered me the couch and, then I kissed him, we fumbled around and then. Oh shit. I shot out of bed realizing I was naked. I grabbed my clothes fumbling and freaking out, as I did up my jeans I stopped feeling a pair of eyes on me.
I slowly looked across the room to a second bed, a smaller guy, early 20’s stared at me and then waved sheepishly, I rolled my eyes and threw my shirt over my head before walking out the door into the hallway, as I stepped down the hall I pulled my phone out, my fingers nervously touching the name…. “Hey, Amber…I know…I know I’m sorry but….please…I need you.,..please….”
Present day….
My fingertips danced along the black marble countertop. A tall glass of red wine sits in front of me as I let out a content sigh. The apartment was empty of men. I could hear my younger sister and mother giggling in the next room. I looked up from my glass to Amber, my older sister. Her long black hair tied back from her face. A face that looked all too familiar. The eyes, the eye shape and colour, her cheekbones, the curve in her lips when she smiled….it was like looking into a mirror….
Her skin was a lighter tone but like mine covered in tattoos, a roadmap of our pain and salvation. Amber lowered her glass, filled with water down on the countertop, her hand drifting over her stomach, the tiny baby bump that had started to form. I couldn’t help but chuckle taking a sip of my wine, her emerald green eyes looking with mine for a moment as she tried to read me. My eyes darting away not giving her the chance. Or so I thought.
She tilted her head, a clearing of her throat breaking the awkward silence between us. “You look well Kayla. Matt treating you well I hope?.” I scoffed and shook my head. I knew where the conversation was heading. I knew what she was pushing towards. “Don’t Amber….don’t bring it up…” She feigned surprise and offense. “I don’t know what you mean Kay, I just want to know how you’re doing with a man like Matt” I ground my teeth together sitting back on the high chair. I moved my hand through my hair moving it behind my ear. “A man like Matt?. You mean a man you slept with?...the type of man you secretly crave?...”
I knew the last comment would get a reaction. I knew she would want to explode. The old Amber would have grabbed me by the hair and laid in a few hard right hands aiming to bust me open, to break a cheek or a nose. Maybe even an orbital bone. But this Amber was different. Being with Brandon had calmed her. Along with her pregnancy. “Crave?. I crave Brandon. All I want is you to be as happy as me-” “As happy as you?....” I scoffed again and stood up leaning over the counter.
“You chose Brandon over Kaden, good for you. But I don’t want your life. I don’t want to play happy family…..” Amber sighed and shook her head folding her arms over her chest. “I didn’t choose anyone...it was never a choice Kayla. Brandon is my other half...he’s what I needed…” I laughed again shaking my head as our younger sister Tasmin walked in. “Lie to yourself all you want...but don’t presume you know me Amber….”
