The Jew Blazer- Belt Fort

Josh is in his hotel room in Tokyo. He is kneeling at a table in front of a window. He sets a duffle bag on the table. He unzips it and pulls out his retired IPW Tag Title, then his BWF Tag Title, and then the Redemption Tag Title.

“Less than a year.” Josh says simply. He takes a moment to let that sink in.

“In less than a year I've captured three tag titles. So if anyone out there is ever wondering why I can roll my eyes at every team who tells us we 'got lucky'? There it is.” Josh says.

“Damon says we did what nobody else thought possible? No, we did what people like DAMON have been saying isn't possible to me for years and frankly it's a lotta big talk from a guy that isn't holding THIS anymore.” Josh says. He picks up the Redemption Tag Title.

“So tell me Damon, what excuses are you going to have this time when you get beat? Are you gonna tell us that maybe your marriage wasn't as repaired as you thought? Maybe this time you chose a poor pomade and you got some hair in your eyes? Well guess what, Ronnie and I aren't married and I have a LOT more hair than you do and you still got beat. How many more excuses are you gonna make til you arrive at the conclusion that maybe it has something to do with the fact that Ronnie and I have been working our tuches's off to be the best tag team in the World. Have you ever considered how bad it makes you look to talk trash on a team that just showed you up? No, because it's more convenient to your damaged ego to consider us fluke masters despite all of the evidence we aren't. Evidence like the fact that Ronnie and I have held three tag titles and we've never lost a single one of them. I was considering making the joke that I would pay out of pocket for your marriage counselling if it meant you no longer had an excuse for losing to us but then it hit me... It hit me like lightning striking the clock tower to generate the 1.21 Jigga-Watts needed to power the Flux Capacitor in the DeLorean. I don't care about your excuses and I don't care what you think about how I celebrate my title wins and...this is the most important part: I'm no longer concerned with making people like you like me. If you don't respect me now you just aren't going to and that's fine. It's gonna make it easier to kick you in the face so hard your hair ungreases. So, instead of spending money on your marriage counselling, Ronnie and I came up with this funny joke about us throwing a parade in our honor not because we feel like we deserve it, but because we know it will infuriate you...and by 'Joke' I mean 'Thing we totally actually did'” Josh says.

We cut to footage of a celebratory parade from earlier in the day. The Jew Blazer and Ronnie North stand atop a large float carrying the Redemption Tag Titles. There's so much confetti and a large cheering crowd. The Jew Blazer takes out a megaphone.

“CHEER IF YOU LIKE THAT THIS IS PROBABLY MAKING DAMON GRAVES QUESTION EVERY DECISION HE'S EVER MADE!” The Blazer says, the audience cheers and The Blazer smiles and waves to them.

We cut back to Josh sitting in his hotel room.

“Aurora seems to share a similar opinion though she seems a touch more dramatic than Damon does, claiming getting beat by us was 'The Worst Night of Her Life' that she wants to erase from time and... yes it's all very sad. As always, there will be cake waiting for you and everyone else EXCEPT DAMON AND ANY BLD MEMBERS in the backstage area. That's right, people are finally getting taken off the cake list. Only rad people get cake. Aurora, I know you may think that cake isn't going to make you feel any better about getting beaten by two people who you clearly think very little of but... you have NO IDEA how good this cake is. I'm talking homemade buttercream frosting. Yeah.” Josh says with a nod to show how serious he is. Very. He is very serious.

“Also we are up against the Black Light District again. Yup. They're still a thing despite repeatedly proving they should no longer have jobs here, aren't going to ever co-operate with management, and will end 95% of their matches by getting themselves disqualified because wins don't matter as much as the message. You wanna know what sends a really clear message? Building a belt fort.” Josh says.

We cut to a scene of him earlier giggling like a child as he hides in a pillow fort held together by all three of his titles.
 
“Joshie? I think Phorry needs to go out for a walk.” Kaylee says as she enters the room.

“Only if you can say the passwoooooooord.” Josh says, poking his head out of the fort.

“It's 'Jan Michael Vincent'. The guy from Airwolf. You kept saying that name in your sleep last night.” Kaylee says. The door to the fort opens. We cut back to Josh in front of the window.

“But yeah, I'm done talking about the BLD. Really. I can only stand to hear people tell me they're a big deal so many times before I just kind of smile and nod at them in the hopes they'll get the hint.” Josh says.

“Ronnie and I are going to take this opportunity to show everyone how far we have come as a tag team. You see Damon wants to tell us that no one ever believed in a million years we'd beat them for the tag team titles? Ronnie and I believed. It's the only outcome we ever saw. We are leaving Japan wit our Tag Team Titles. I believe.” Josh says. He slings the Redemption tag title over his shoulder.

-END-