Post by Caroline O'Hara Burchill on Jan 3, 2017 22:38:00 GMT -5
January 1st, 2017
The new year is here. This is often the time when an individual takes the time to reflect on some key aspects of the previous year and review in their own mind all of the good and bad that came out of that time. Some people experience of joy; often feeling like a lot of good came out of the year that has greatly benefited them. For others, a feeling of disdain will often preoccupy their inner workings as the waves of undesirable events crash into their mind, and there is often an unfavorable moment that defines that year for them.
As for me? Well, it's been rather mixed.
At times, 2016 felt like a shitty year. When I was looking to make a comeback and spark up a career renaissance of sorts, I lost in my first match back after being away from the sport for two years. Then there was the sudden closing of Pure Amusement Wrestling, and it occurred at the time when I was set on having my very first title match in the United States - and a match for the promotion's top prize, at that. Of course, I would go on to have my first title match here, but then I lost that one. My mental state would often experience moments of deterioration, there were times of self-doubt as I had been unsure of myself. I thought that coming back was a mistake. I honestly considered leaving again, because I just didn't know what else to do. My career was constantly see-sawing, and anytime I picked up a win or two, I am often dragged back down into the pit of failure. I can barely climb out of it and take a second to breathe before I'm pulled back in.
However, at the same time, there were a few good things that came out of the year. For starters... I came back to the wrestling. It's such a silly thing to say, but even though I may feel like I'm not amounting to anything yet, I still have something manifested within that keeps me from stepping away completely. It's why I've stuck around for so long, even when my career wasn't going in the right place sometimes. I don't know. I guess it's just a mixed reaction thing that depends on how everything is going for me.
In addition, I got to be in a few main events throughout the year. The exposure was great, and I finally got to experience what it was like to be given a spot in the limelight. Of course, I probably would've been even more of a huge star had PAW stuck around. There's no doubt in mind that I could've been a champion there by now. When I beat Annabel Lee, it was somethimg truly spectacular to me. I had the whole thimg planned out and everything, but sadly, things just weren't meant to be.
Just a whole lot of what-if's and possibilities.
But that's all in the past now, I suppose. Now, it's the new year and things are looking good for me. Being involved in two tournaments is something that I've never thought that I could do, but yet I'm doing it. It's fucking crazy. I'm already in the third round for the Alpha Cup Tournament over at AWE, and here in Redemption Wrestling, I am representing my nation as part of the Global Cup tournament.
Honestly, I've never felt this much pressure before.
This opportunity is huge. If I can beat Illiya, then I'll move on and I'll be closer to winning the entire tournament. I really want to do it. I haven't accomplished anything of note in my career, and I'm sure that after the events of Winter Solace, people aren't expecting me to go the distance and win. It does get to me. I hate it when other people doubt, especially when I know that I can pull out all the stops to succeed. This tournament however will help to prove to everyone that I'm not the type of person that makes empty promises.
I want to right my wrongs. I want to re-establish myself as a credible threat again, and I want my name to finally have the merit that I've been busting my ass for to get. I want the Burchill name to mean something, and by representing Australia, I'm looking to carve out a legacy for myself and my own nation. If I lose, then... I don't know what I'll do. I sure as hell can't stompy feet and demand another title match or some kind of grand opportunity. Devlin would just laugh in my face for that, and there's no chance in Hell that he would ever think about giving me that kind of opportunity again for a long time.
I'm nervous, but I'm also excited. This is what I've wanted, and with the Global Cup almost here, I just want to go out there and show to everyone that I am the best. Winning this will back that claim up, and I don't want to fail again.
I want to win again.
The new year is here. This is often the time when an individual takes the time to reflect on some key aspects of the previous year and review in their own mind all of the good and bad that came out of that time. Some people experience of joy; often feeling like a lot of good came out of the year that has greatly benefited them. For others, a feeling of disdain will often preoccupy their inner workings as the waves of undesirable events crash into their mind, and there is often an unfavorable moment that defines that year for them.
As for me? Well, it's been rather mixed.
At times, 2016 felt like a shitty year. When I was looking to make a comeback and spark up a career renaissance of sorts, I lost in my first match back after being away from the sport for two years. Then there was the sudden closing of Pure Amusement Wrestling, and it occurred at the time when I was set on having my very first title match in the United States - and a match for the promotion's top prize, at that. Of course, I would go on to have my first title match here, but then I lost that one. My mental state would often experience moments of deterioration, there were times of self-doubt as I had been unsure of myself. I thought that coming back was a mistake. I honestly considered leaving again, because I just didn't know what else to do. My career was constantly see-sawing, and anytime I picked up a win or two, I am often dragged back down into the pit of failure. I can barely climb out of it and take a second to breathe before I'm pulled back in.
However, at the same time, there were a few good things that came out of the year. For starters... I came back to the wrestling. It's such a silly thing to say, but even though I may feel like I'm not amounting to anything yet, I still have something manifested within that keeps me from stepping away completely. It's why I've stuck around for so long, even when my career wasn't going in the right place sometimes. I don't know. I guess it's just a mixed reaction thing that depends on how everything is going for me.
In addition, I got to be in a few main events throughout the year. The exposure was great, and I finally got to experience what it was like to be given a spot in the limelight. Of course, I probably would've been even more of a huge star had PAW stuck around. There's no doubt in mind that I could've been a champion there by now. When I beat Annabel Lee, it was somethimg truly spectacular to me. I had the whole thimg planned out and everything, but sadly, things just weren't meant to be.
Just a whole lot of what-if's and possibilities.
But that's all in the past now, I suppose. Now, it's the new year and things are looking good for me. Being involved in two tournaments is something that I've never thought that I could do, but yet I'm doing it. It's fucking crazy. I'm already in the third round for the Alpha Cup Tournament over at AWE, and here in Redemption Wrestling, I am representing my nation as part of the Global Cup tournament.
Honestly, I've never felt this much pressure before.
This opportunity is huge. If I can beat Illiya, then I'll move on and I'll be closer to winning the entire tournament. I really want to do it. I haven't accomplished anything of note in my career, and I'm sure that after the events of Winter Solace, people aren't expecting me to go the distance and win. It does get to me. I hate it when other people doubt, especially when I know that I can pull out all the stops to succeed. This tournament however will help to prove to everyone that I'm not the type of person that makes empty promises.
I want to right my wrongs. I want to re-establish myself as a credible threat again, and I want my name to finally have the merit that I've been busting my ass for to get. I want the Burchill name to mean something, and by representing Australia, I'm looking to carve out a legacy for myself and my own nation. If I lose, then... I don't know what I'll do. I sure as hell can't stompy feet and demand another title match or some kind of grand opportunity. Devlin would just laugh in my face for that, and there's no chance in Hell that he would ever think about giving me that kind of opportunity again for a long time.
I'm nervous, but I'm also excited. This is what I've wanted, and with the Global Cup almost here, I just want to go out there and show to everyone that I am the best. Winning this will back that claim up, and I don't want to fail again.
I want to win again.
