Post by selfiesisters on Dec 31, 2016 17:47:09 GMT -5
“Like this totally might have been a bad idea,” Heather said while watching on from her perch in the dock. Like her teammate, she is also dressed in a Sailor Moon/Japanese school girl outfit. Unlike her tag team partner …
“...you ...*ack* ...think?” Jessica screamed at her partner as a gigantic tentacle wrapped around her neck, her hands splashing the water around her.
“I googled 'what Japanese men like' and this was like the first thing that came up.” Heather tried to explain as Jessica elbowed the octopus in the eye.
“What ...was ...*uff* ...your ...*errr* ...end game?” Jessica was trying to pull the giant tentacle off her neck while inquiring about this terrible (but awesome) idea.
“We would model with the octopus, take some like photos, and then ...”
“It would rape me?” Jessica punched the tentacled sea creature in the eye as it loosened the grip on her leg.
“Like, I assumed it would was would be consensual. You like did that weird thing was Charlie Sheen, the ice pick, a stuffed polar bear, and Jaleel White watching dressed as Goku,” Heather pointed out from her not violated spot on the dock.
“Have you had Sheen's coke? THAT was worth it. This is just stupid and I think kind of racist.” She finally unwrapped the tentacle from around her neck and gave the octopus a stiff kick to the eye.
“You are like Asian. It isn't like racist when you do it.”
“Oh yeah, but still. I'm not going to let this thing fuck me ...” As the octopus began to finally drift away from her, she trailed off. “...for free ...”
“How else are the Japanese fans going to cheer us over like The Radicalliance? They are like super cool and great in the ring?” Heather seemed worried as Jessica climbed back onto the dock, Sailor Moon outfit completed drenched and clinging to her skin.
“We have boobs and don't wear a lot of clothes to ring, I think we will be fine.” She was beginning to shiver, but ignored that continue her point. “Besides, all four of us have something of the same type of meta going down here. We are going to bring the best out of each other ...then later, hopefully I will bring something else out of Ronnie North.”
“Gag me with a spoon,” Heather exclaimed as they walked from the dock back to their limo. “And what has been with you when it comes to him? Desperation isn't like your thing, y'know?”
“Heather, this isn't desperation. It is just knowing what he wants and getting in his head because of it. Yeah, this will be a fun fight, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't try to screw around with a guy who is notorious for having an appetite.” As Jessica explained this, she was bobbing up and down due to the coldness of the area and the fact that she was soaking wet.
“But, like, what if he isn't into you?”
Jessica threw her head back in laughter at this very notion. “Have you seen me? Everyone wants me. I'm me. I'm a big deal. But that is also sort of the reason of the mind games ...this guy should be going crazy for me right now, but neither him or his partner has said anything yet. What is their problem?”
“So, like, your issue is that they aren't giving us enough attention?
"
“EXACTLY!” Jessica answered in a mad rage of hypothermia and daddy issues. “Forgive me if this sounds like something a terrible human being would say, but I thrive off of attention. While I have no problem using that for good by giving people exactly what they want from me as far aesthetic goes, it is hard to do when the guys on the other side refuse to pay any attention to the fact that I am the most amazing woman in the world.”
“You like mean physically, right?”
“Of course I mean physically. That is LITERALLY the quality that is important in this world. My point is that the more they withhold acknowledge, the more I am going to eventually get that from them. I will tease them, I will flaunt what I have toward them, but if they continue to ignore me, these mind games will just straight up turn into an ass kicking.”
“That is like good because it was what we are here to do.”
“Perhaps it is, but I am a very simple person; WE are very simple things,” Jessica began as their limo pulled up to them. “It is like you said earlier, not everything has to be all grim and dark. You can fight a team without hating them. You can wrestle a match to have a good time, not to even some kind of odd. This doesn't have to be about hate or being evil or brooding. I don't want to be pissed at my opponents, I don't have fun that way. I like it when they admit that I am alive ...”
“...and horribly objectify you?”
“Of course, why did you think God gave me the body he did?” Jessica flashed a playful smile before crawling into the warm limo. “In all seriousness, I hate all seriousness. We should go out, understand that, American or Japanese, we are going to earn the fans respect, and are going to have one hell of a great match with great opponents. Let's face it. Our promos do not need to emulate some kind of anime to get a reaction from people in this east.”
Heather considered this as they sat down and their limo was about to drive off. From the corner of her eye, Jessica noticed something weird about the driver. “Like, I guess you are right.”
“Wait,” Jessica interrupted her partner as she got a better look at the driver. “Who's driving?”
“Oh my god,” Heather began as she too realized that their had been switched out with a very furry impostor. A bear in a tuxedo and driving hat turns around. “Bear's driving.”
“How can this be?” Jessica Buck exclaimed before the bear drove off with the two Selfie Sisters inside.
