Post by JMav/JGold/RNorth/MKarloff on Dec 18, 2016 11:31:34 GMT -5
Joshua Goldstein
All in the Interpretation
All in the Interpretation
Joshua Goldstein is in a plain white room, standing next to an overweight man in a sleeveless flannel shirt with a t-shirt underneath that has the blood-stained 'Comedian' logo from the comic 'The Watchmen' on it. The man has pronounced mutton chop sideburns and is playing around on his phone.
“Hey guys, I've been working on 'getting angry' like everyone says I should and I think I've been pretty steamed these past few weeks but it just isn't coming across because well....I don't have a lot of practice vocalizing negative emotions... so I'm ripping off a Comedy Central show and introducing my brand new Anger Translator. This is stand-up funnyman and former BWF, UX, and AOWF World Champion 'The Comedian' Allen Chaney.” Josh says. Allen looks up from his phone and gives a quick wave before looking back down at it.
“Right...so without further ado I'd like to get started.” Josh says. Allen nods and puts his phone in his pocket.
“So, Black Light District. I feel like you are an interesting group. For starters Spike, I'm curious about the new friend you seem to have tagging along with you.” Josh says.
“Whoever that fat kid is, he's already ten times as threatening as Silas Subhuman. Maybe Spike should be tagging with 'Mallow' instead of the guy who looks like he splits shifts scoffing at your choices at a Record Store and selling coffee and Vegan burritos out of a food truck desperately hoping some poor soul will take pity on you and snag one of the free copies of your CD you have sitting out. 'No really, I know we've got kind of a Grindcore edge but it get's really melodic' you say, trying to impress a girl who's only still talking to you because she's concerned you may have accidentally put a dairy creamer in her chai latte.” Allen says.
“I can claim to be a bit confused about some of your accusations.” Josh says.
“How in the hell are you going to make fun of someone for making fun of the fact that you pointlessly talk about your balls all the time when that's what you fucking do? I went to look for answers on your twitter but all I found were tweets where you talk about your balls. You're about as deep as a kiddy pool and as useful as Anne Franks drum set.” Allen says.
“Your leader seems like a pretty smart guy though!” Josh adds.
“If I was a mediocre wrestler I'd ALSO surround myself with my least talented friends so I looked better by comparison.” Allen adds.
“Well I think that about covers it, best of luck to you all and I can't wait to see you in the ring!” Josh says.
“Put your balls in your ass and clench yourself castrated you three profound wastes of Oxygen, Carbon, and general space.” Allen says before taking his phone back out and walking offscreen.
“Thanks Al!” Josh says as Allen walks off.
“You owe me.” Allen says back before we fade to black.
