Post by ILLxEZ on Dec 16, 2016 12:39:25 GMT -5
It has been one thousand, two hundred, and seventy-nine days since we last stepped into a ring. Or… one hundred and eighty-two weeks and five days. Or forty-two months. Or three and a half years. Televised, that is. I like numbers.
You’re jumping topics again, Ez.
Right, right. That is the amount of time that it has been. On one hand, it was by choice. The spotlight was a bit too much for a while. We needed to step away. Disappear. On the other hand… our favourite place in the world closed and left us stranded.
We weren’t really stranded. We found work pretty quick.
I’m trying to make our story interesting. We have to add some suspense and drama, Illiya.
Fine, fine. Carry on.
So then, a pirate came and took every job ever in all the world. And our gold. He took our gold.
Really…?
Ugh! Fine. Let me start again.
--
The scene opens up to two women sitting on a porch. They look very similar, but very different. Both have hair as black as night. The one on the right is dressed in a pair of black jeans and a black generic band t-shirt. Her makeup was very subtle and hair was left down and straight, causing her to not stand out as much against the other woman beside her. The other was adorned in all sorts of metal, black fabric, and fishnets. Her hair was spiked up into a mohawk and black makeup drawn in intricate designs on her face. The two were polar opposites, but eerily the same. Twins.
They sat in rocking chairs, side by side, looking out into the street like little old ladies. A young kid walked over to the house and dropped a toy accidentally on the lawn. He goes to pick it up, just as the more interesting one stands out of her rocking chair and raises her fist, shaking it violently.
“You get off my lawn!”
She had deepened her voice and made it sound as if she had been a 90 year old woman smoking since she was 12. The kid ran off after picking up his toy.
“Ezrynn… don’t scare the neighbourhood kids.”
The other one, Illiya, watched as the little kid ran as fast as he could away from them. Ezrynn moved back to the chair, sitting down again and rocking back and forth.
“Next kid that touches this pristine lawn is getting a taste of Old Smokey here. My shotgun.”
She put her hand down, motioning her hand as if she was petting a gun beside her. There was nothing there.
“Really…? This is dad’s lawn. And it looks like a bag of shit. Plus… you’ve never held a gun in your life.”
“Well if I had one, Illiyana, I would call it Old Smokey, okay? Just let me pretend, god damnit!”
“Fine… whatever. Why don’t you just continue the story, huh?”
“Right, right. Yes. It had been years since we stepped into the ring professionally. Thanks to those pirates that stole the company we were involved with, we had to find other ways to pass the time. We both became personal trainers, while Illiya did some hooking on the side.”
“I did not!”
“You did. You hooked. You were a hooker. You put worms on a hook and found fish in water. Hooking.”
“Fishing.”
“Plenty of Fish. Yes… That’s the other thing I did. I was a consultant on Plenty of Fish, the dating website? I found people dates and junk.”
Illiya rolled her eyes.
“Okay… I didn’t do that… But I did do some miscellaneous online work and modelling. Ill joined me at times, but she was usually the one behind the camera.”
“Photography was always a passion. So once our wrestling home imploded, I had more time to pursue that dream. But we both always missed wrestling. We missed being on stage. We missed the excitement and the fans. We wanted back in. But it wasn’t as easy as it was back then. We tried and tried… but I guess there was something off-putting about twins? I don’t know. We rarely got a chance to show our talents.”
“I think it was more because we don’t look like normal wrestlers. We look tiny, but we’re stronger than we look. Illiya actually works out a lot. But our bodies just don’t look like that’s the case. It’s like a surprise for some people. We were always surprising opponents who had never met us before. But we’re also entertaining as fuck. We’re called the Terror Twins for a reason…”
“You’ll surely get a taste of that at some point.”
“Mhmm.”
“So we got lucky when Devlin Scott actually gave us a chance. He let us show him a bit of our talents and he was impressed enough to hire us.”
“Plus we’re different. Not cookie-cutter like most girls you see. They either look all the same with the fake punky thing going on, or are these beautiful blonde and brunette chicks with huge boobs and layers of makeup. Not to say I don’t wear a ton, as you can tell, but I stand out. Illiya and me? You could pick us out in a crowd of all these other girls. We shine. They all stay dull and look the same.”
“That’s always been us. We’ve always been the weird girls. But we always had people around. Ezrynn is like a people magnet. When I’d rather be sitting at home reading a book, she’d force me to go out to parties… high school parties with people that never even went to our school, but they still knew Ez. Everywhere we’d go, people would talk about her. And, at times, confuse us. But she was the showboat and I was the subdued little goth girl that tried to stay quiet in a corner and watch. Watching my sister zip around like a bee… that was always the best part of my night. She was funny.”
The sisters looked at each other and smiled. Ezrynn stuck her hand out, her pointer finger extended. Illiya did the same, touching her finger to the tip of her sister’s.
“Sister’s till the end.”
“Always.”
Ezrynn suddenly jumped up from the rocking chair.
“Ooh! Computer time! Come, come!”
She motioned to the camera, acknowledging the person behind it now, motioning for them to follow. The two girls stepped inside and walked into the room to the right. A large monitor was set up on a desk. The home computer. A screen was already loaded up, waiting for them. It was the website for Redemption Wrestling, showing the full roster on one page. Each person was clickable, giving a bit of info on the person and their wrestling style. It was a one stop shop to knowing your opponents each week.
“So we’re going to do something fun today. We’re going to for through each person and just chat about them.”
“Ezrynn is going to do this… not me. Let’s make this clear. I research my opponents properly. Ezrynn… does not. We’ll just leave it at that. Carry on.”
“As I was SAYING… We’re going through everyone here so we can cover all the grounds. And so I don’t ever have to do it again in the future. So… let’s begin.”
She scrolls down and picks a random person on the page. She clicks the small photo and a page loads up, bringing up the information for the person, with a larger photo of them at the top. Without scrolling down and just seeing the name and face, Ezrynn speaks.
"So there's this girl here, Trixie. I think she might be a naughty video actress. You know... like the VHS' dad used to think he hid all over the house?"
"Ezrynn!"
She ignored her sister.
"Her hair is cool, I guess. Very blonde, though."
She goes to the next person.
"Ronnie North. Gosh his chest is real hairy. He's wearing a pink scarf in that photo. I'll bet he's sexually confused and not sure if he's straight or gay... And look at this guy! LJ Daughterty? He's kinda cute. But those ears. Goodness."
She clicks on another random person.
"Honey. What an odd thing to call your child. Were her parents planning to eat her? Drizzle her life-blood into tea for a sore throat?"
Illiya raises a brow, looking confused at her sister.
"This guy is called Freddie Styles. Does he have lips? I can't see them. The... Jew Blazer? What is that? Why? He either needs to grow his hair longer or cut it off. He's at the awkward stage. It's weirding me out."
She makes a face and goes to the next person.
"Why are you just focusing on looks here? What about their skill?"
"Don't care."
"Oh.."
"Ooh! Look at this girl! Daisy Rose! Her hair is pretty. I want to play with it."
Ezrynn runs a long nail along the screen, as if petting her hair. She then goes to the next profile.
"Here's this other guy here. Damon Graves. He looks so angry. But he's quite purdy, I'd say. Oh... and this girl? Aurora Graves? Probably his sister or something. Cool."
She shrugs.
"I'm pretty sure they're married."
"He married his sister? Gross! Keeping it in the family, I guess."
Ezrynn looks disgusted, while Illiya rolls her eyes.
"Mikaylah Carter. She looks like she sends nudes to people over twatter messenger."
"Twitter."
"Tittier. What you said."
Illiya slaps her hand on her forehead.
"Oh look! It's Illiya! She's purdy! She's my favourite wrestler of all time. She's all good at being a wrestler and stuff."
"Shut up."
Illiya rolled her eyes, but was smiling.
"Silas Subhuman. Does that mean he's an android? A Silo Robot? That has to be it. I know it."
She starts to do the robot dance move for some reason in her chair. Then just stops abruptly, moving on.
"Kodo Dragon is possibly dragonkin. He must be on Tumblr a lot. Oh there's another one! Red Dragon! He's scary, though. They're taking over the company. Redemption is soon going to only be filled with dragonkin. Look. It says it right here. 'I. Am. Dragonkin.'"
"That says Shinohata... where he's from."
"You're a liar and a thief. Moving on! Oh…. We can’t forget about our new boss. Devlin Scott. He’s dreamy.”
“Don’t say that. He’s our boss.”
“I can do what I want. Most females have crushes on their bosses. It’s a statistic.”
“A percent or number is a statistic. Not the word ‘most’. Besides… it wouldn’t be a statistic anyways even if it had a number, since it’s not true. So you’re wrong.”
“You’re wrong.”
“You are!”
“Here’s Ezrynn! She’s the one smarter of the twins. She knows statistics and stuff. And also she’s cool. So there.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“You are… Reggie Cyde! Now THAT is a man that has mommy issues. He looks like he’s staring into your soul. With his beady little eyeballs. Okay… Here… Fiona Marie Larson. She’s a ginger! Gross.”
“Oh my god, Ez. We’re gingers.”
“Yeah… but we’re smart enough to hide it."
”Until you get bored and grow it out again."
“That’s true. Maybe she’s a long lost sister of ours.”
Ezrynn stops talking for a moment, staring at the photo on her screen. She then shrugs her shoulders.
“Nah.”
She shakes her head and switches to the next person.
“Bad News Brawler. This guy seems like bad news. We should avoid him at all costs. Though I’d like to rub his head and see if I can see myself in the shine.”
She smiles big, clearly daydreaming about doing as she said.
“Ew. Dude.”
“What? That’s normal… Next is Jeremy Starling.Pretty boy. But… like… not? Pretty to someone? His mum maybe?”
“Don’t be rude.”
“Already was. Too late. Dick Devereaux.”
She completely butchered his last name pronunciation. But on purpose. She knew very well the proper way to say it. She snickered after the name.
“Heh. Dick.”
“Don’t.”
“He’s cute, though. I like him.”
Illiya let out a sigh of relief.
“But he’s probably a real dick…”
Illiya closed her eyes. She knew it was coming. She shook her head at her sister, who was staring directly at her, her lips curled into a smile that she was using to stop herself from laughing.
“Just… Just move on.”
“Kay. Kaylee Kassie. Isn’t that the girl who posted her boobs on Twitter? Isn’t that against the internet rules?”
“No. Facebook is censored. So is instagram.. Twitter is a cesspool of breasts and vaginas and bums.”
“My bum is on there!”
“Yes… it is…”
Illiya sighed again.
“They were weird boobs… But not as weird as the name Spike Steel! Just joking. He gave me good advice about creepers on the Twitter as well. We’re best friends now.”
Ezrynn smiled to herself.
“Xavier Cain. Some guy. With a face. And a hood. He looks like he could play footie. Maybe fakes injuries when the ball hits his knee gently or something. Maybe he does that when he wrestles too. He’s probably really entertaining in the ring when he does that. Now if I see him wrestle and he doesn’t do it, I’ll be disappointed. Okay… this guy. He’s screaming in his photo. Jenson Idol. He kind of looks nerdy in that silly sleeveless jacket thing. Is it cool to idolize nerds now? Dang! You missed out, Illiya! If you were yourself in high school now, you’d be cool. Wouldn’t that be weird?”
“Shut up.”
“I’m just saying.”
“I was cool enough.”
“That’s true. You were cool to me and that’s all that matters.”
Ezrynn quickly wrapped her arms tightly around her sister, squeezing as hard as she could.
“Okay ow!”
“Alright. Back to work.”
She let go and went back to focusing on the computer.
“Okay. This guy. Mikhail Reinhardt. He’s very vocal on Twitter. Got this attitude thing going on. I’m not sure whether I like it or not. He has a lot of family members as well. Keeping it in the family like those Graves people maybe. Next is Yujiro Fujiwara. He looks so spiffy in his little suit! He looks like an asian supermodel man. We should do a photoshoot together one day.”
“He would probably hate you.”
“Nobody hates me. Ever.”
“You sure?”
“One kajillion percent. THAT’S a statistic.”
“No it’s not.”
“Well fine… Giovanna Mancini is a statistic.”
“Why’s that?”
“There is a one in seven chance that she is the daughter of a mobster.”
“That’s a good statistic. Not a true one… but a good use of one. Why, though?”
“Her last name sounds like a mobster last name and I’m just making assumptions and stopped caring after I said it. Her pose in her picture is stupid. NEXT!”
She scrolls to the next person.
“Avery Miles the Third. He’s royalty. I just know it. He’s probably a knight that stepped down to wrestle. That’s brave. He’s brave. He should share his story of how his parents were pirates and he got knighted into The Round Table and was banished and used his skills he learned in knightdom to his advantage in the new sport of wrestling.”
“Could you get off the pirate thing?”
“Pirates are cool.”
“Maybe a thousand years ago…”
“Maybe I’m a thousand years old and still like pirates. You think about that?”
Illiya rolled her eyes.
“Anyway. Next is Courtney Leinart. I hate the name Courtney. So now I hate her. We could have been friends, lady. Change your name and we can be friends again. After her is… RC Tucker. Is that a toy car brand? Like Remote Control Tucker? MAYBE HE’S A ROBOT TOO!”
“Stop yelling. He’s not a robot.”
“He could be! He could be, Illiya! We don’t know! He might be taking over the industry!”
“He might be thinking he’s taking over the industry… but not because he’s a robot.”
“Fine. Next is Caroline O’Hara Burchill. It looks like she got her photo taken in front of a wind turbine. Or maybe She gels her hair out weird like that, since her face doesn’t look weird because of the wind. I don’t understand hairstyles these days…”
The camera pans up Ezrynn’s hair, showing her hair spiked up in all its glory.
“Up next is Anton Chase. He looks mad. So I’m not going to say anything more about him. After that is Martin Karloff, who is doing this weird thing in his photo where he puts his chin down against his neck and creates triple chins and then glares at the person looking at him? There’s no extra chins, though. I think he photoshopped them out. Because that’s impossible. Look.”
Ezrynn turns around to the camera and exaggerates the look he’s made in his photo. She get’s almost a ‘second chin’ forming from excess skin at her neck, but she doesn’t have much. It’s good enough for her, though, as she runs her fingers along to check. Illiya slaps her arm and Ezrynn’s head shoots up to glare at her.
“Stop doing that. It’s unattractive. People will screen shot this and make a meme out of it.”
“So? I don’t care.”
“Fine. Be weird and awkward. I don’t care.”
“Good. I will. Next is Alice Knight. She looks twelve. Is that legal? Can we have twelve year olds wrestling here? I’m telling the boss.”
Illiya grabs the mouse and scrolls down the profile for Alice. She highlights her age to show Ez.
“Says here she’s thirty.”
“WHAT!?”
“Yep. Thirty. Right there.”
“Fake ID. Like McLovin. She’s a liar. Moving on!”
Ezrynn scrolls down and lingers on the next one. She smiles, tilting her head a bit as she looks at the photo dreamily.
“And last but not least… is Matthew Shields. Gosh he’s pretty.”
“Ugh.”
“Look at him! The tattoos. The face area. The arm bits. He’s just…”
She trails off. Illiya puts her finger in her mouth slightly, pretending to force herself to throw up. She makes gagging noises to go along with it.
“His voice… the southern accent… mmm…”
“You’re disgusting. He’s gross. You’re gross. I hope he steps on a nail.”
“I like.”
“I don’t. Wait… What about-“
The camera turns off abruptly. The guy starts to quickly pack up his stuff.
“Where are you going??”
Illiya stands up from her seat and walks over to the camera man.
“I told you… I have another gig at one o’clock. It’s already twelve thirty eight. I was supposed to leave five minutes ago. I gotta run.”
“We’re not even done yet.”
“Sorry, ladies. I have to go film for some big-time star over in 4CW.”
“What the hell is that?”
“Some other place. But I gotta go. Good luck, ladies.”
“Ughhhhh…. Ezrynn!”
She turns around to see her twin still staring at a photo of Matthew Shields. Illiya makes a frustrated sound and walks over, pressing the power button on the computer and turning it off.
“Hey!”
“He’s gross. Get over it. He’s a distraction.”
“Is not.”
“You’re distracted right now. And you wasted all the time we had with the camera guy talking about literally EVERYONE else but our opponents this week! Who does that?”
“Who are our opponents? We’re not in a battle royal?”
“We have a tag match! Against John Blade and Alicia Hixx!”
“Who?”
“Oh my GOD! Are you serious? Do you do this on purpose?”
“I never saw those people. So no.”
“You never research. Ever. You’re lucky I do and give you the cliffsnotes before we go out there. Not like you listen…”
“I don’t.”
“You’re so frustrating!”
“It’s why you love me. I don’t care, Illiya. We’ll just go out there and do what we always do. Kick ass. They’ll see what the Terror Twins are made of, whoever they are. They don’t even matter, anyway!”
“I’m going to go make some lunch.”
“Make me a sandwich.”
“No.”
“Please?”
She looks at her sister with puppy dog eyes.
“Fine.”
“Yessssss…”
Ezrynn smiles as Illiya walks away. She then pulls out her sisters tablet and loads up Twitter. She types up her next tweet.
THE END.
You’re jumping topics again, Ez.
Right, right. That is the amount of time that it has been. On one hand, it was by choice. The spotlight was a bit too much for a while. We needed to step away. Disappear. On the other hand… our favourite place in the world closed and left us stranded.
We weren’t really stranded. We found work pretty quick.
I’m trying to make our story interesting. We have to add some suspense and drama, Illiya.
Fine, fine. Carry on.
So then, a pirate came and took every job ever in all the world. And our gold. He took our gold.
Really…?
Ugh! Fine. Let me start again.
--
The scene opens up to two women sitting on a porch. They look very similar, but very different. Both have hair as black as night. The one on the right is dressed in a pair of black jeans and a black generic band t-shirt. Her makeup was very subtle and hair was left down and straight, causing her to not stand out as much against the other woman beside her. The other was adorned in all sorts of metal, black fabric, and fishnets. Her hair was spiked up into a mohawk and black makeup drawn in intricate designs on her face. The two were polar opposites, but eerily the same. Twins.
They sat in rocking chairs, side by side, looking out into the street like little old ladies. A young kid walked over to the house and dropped a toy accidentally on the lawn. He goes to pick it up, just as the more interesting one stands out of her rocking chair and raises her fist, shaking it violently.
“You get off my lawn!”
She had deepened her voice and made it sound as if she had been a 90 year old woman smoking since she was 12. The kid ran off after picking up his toy.
“Ezrynn… don’t scare the neighbourhood kids.”
The other one, Illiya, watched as the little kid ran as fast as he could away from them. Ezrynn moved back to the chair, sitting down again and rocking back and forth.
“Next kid that touches this pristine lawn is getting a taste of Old Smokey here. My shotgun.”
She put her hand down, motioning her hand as if she was petting a gun beside her. There was nothing there.
“Really…? This is dad’s lawn. And it looks like a bag of shit. Plus… you’ve never held a gun in your life.”
“Well if I had one, Illiyana, I would call it Old Smokey, okay? Just let me pretend, god damnit!”
“Fine… whatever. Why don’t you just continue the story, huh?”
“Right, right. Yes. It had been years since we stepped into the ring professionally. Thanks to those pirates that stole the company we were involved with, we had to find other ways to pass the time. We both became personal trainers, while Illiya did some hooking on the side.”
“I did not!”
“You did. You hooked. You were a hooker. You put worms on a hook and found fish in water. Hooking.”
“Fishing.”
“Plenty of Fish. Yes… That’s the other thing I did. I was a consultant on Plenty of Fish, the dating website? I found people dates and junk.”
Illiya rolled her eyes.
“Okay… I didn’t do that… But I did do some miscellaneous online work and modelling. Ill joined me at times, but she was usually the one behind the camera.”
“Photography was always a passion. So once our wrestling home imploded, I had more time to pursue that dream. But we both always missed wrestling. We missed being on stage. We missed the excitement and the fans. We wanted back in. But it wasn’t as easy as it was back then. We tried and tried… but I guess there was something off-putting about twins? I don’t know. We rarely got a chance to show our talents.”
“I think it was more because we don’t look like normal wrestlers. We look tiny, but we’re stronger than we look. Illiya actually works out a lot. But our bodies just don’t look like that’s the case. It’s like a surprise for some people. We were always surprising opponents who had never met us before. But we’re also entertaining as fuck. We’re called the Terror Twins for a reason…”
“You’ll surely get a taste of that at some point.”
“Mhmm.”
“So we got lucky when Devlin Scott actually gave us a chance. He let us show him a bit of our talents and he was impressed enough to hire us.”
“Plus we’re different. Not cookie-cutter like most girls you see. They either look all the same with the fake punky thing going on, or are these beautiful blonde and brunette chicks with huge boobs and layers of makeup. Not to say I don’t wear a ton, as you can tell, but I stand out. Illiya and me? You could pick us out in a crowd of all these other girls. We shine. They all stay dull and look the same.”
“That’s always been us. We’ve always been the weird girls. But we always had people around. Ezrynn is like a people magnet. When I’d rather be sitting at home reading a book, she’d force me to go out to parties… high school parties with people that never even went to our school, but they still knew Ez. Everywhere we’d go, people would talk about her. And, at times, confuse us. But she was the showboat and I was the subdued little goth girl that tried to stay quiet in a corner and watch. Watching my sister zip around like a bee… that was always the best part of my night. She was funny.”
The sisters looked at each other and smiled. Ezrynn stuck her hand out, her pointer finger extended. Illiya did the same, touching her finger to the tip of her sister’s.
“Sister’s till the end.”
“Always.”
Ezrynn suddenly jumped up from the rocking chair.
“Ooh! Computer time! Come, come!”
She motioned to the camera, acknowledging the person behind it now, motioning for them to follow. The two girls stepped inside and walked into the room to the right. A large monitor was set up on a desk. The home computer. A screen was already loaded up, waiting for them. It was the website for Redemption Wrestling, showing the full roster on one page. Each person was clickable, giving a bit of info on the person and their wrestling style. It was a one stop shop to knowing your opponents each week.
“So we’re going to do something fun today. We’re going to for through each person and just chat about them.”
“Ezrynn is going to do this… not me. Let’s make this clear. I research my opponents properly. Ezrynn… does not. We’ll just leave it at that. Carry on.”
“As I was SAYING… We’re going through everyone here so we can cover all the grounds. And so I don’t ever have to do it again in the future. So… let’s begin.”
She scrolls down and picks a random person on the page. She clicks the small photo and a page loads up, bringing up the information for the person, with a larger photo of them at the top. Without scrolling down and just seeing the name and face, Ezrynn speaks.
"So there's this girl here, Trixie. I think she might be a naughty video actress. You know... like the VHS' dad used to think he hid all over the house?"
"Ezrynn!"
She ignored her sister.
"Her hair is cool, I guess. Very blonde, though."
She goes to the next person.
"Ronnie North. Gosh his chest is real hairy. He's wearing a pink scarf in that photo. I'll bet he's sexually confused and not sure if he's straight or gay... And look at this guy! LJ Daughterty? He's kinda cute. But those ears. Goodness."
She clicks on another random person.
"Honey. What an odd thing to call your child. Were her parents planning to eat her? Drizzle her life-blood into tea for a sore throat?"
Illiya raises a brow, looking confused at her sister.
"This guy is called Freddie Styles. Does he have lips? I can't see them. The... Jew Blazer? What is that? Why? He either needs to grow his hair longer or cut it off. He's at the awkward stage. It's weirding me out."
She makes a face and goes to the next person.
"Why are you just focusing on looks here? What about their skill?"
"Don't care."
"Oh.."
"Ooh! Look at this girl! Daisy Rose! Her hair is pretty. I want to play with it."
Ezrynn runs a long nail along the screen, as if petting her hair. She then goes to the next profile.
"Here's this other guy here. Damon Graves. He looks so angry. But he's quite purdy, I'd say. Oh... and this girl? Aurora Graves? Probably his sister or something. Cool."
She shrugs.
"I'm pretty sure they're married."
"He married his sister? Gross! Keeping it in the family, I guess."
Ezrynn looks disgusted, while Illiya rolls her eyes.
"Mikaylah Carter. She looks like she sends nudes to people over twatter messenger."
"Twitter."
"Tittier. What you said."
Illiya slaps her hand on her forehead.
"Oh look! It's Illiya! She's purdy! She's my favourite wrestler of all time. She's all good at being a wrestler and stuff."
"Shut up."
Illiya rolled her eyes, but was smiling.
"Silas Subhuman. Does that mean he's an android? A Silo Robot? That has to be it. I know it."
She starts to do the robot dance move for some reason in her chair. Then just stops abruptly, moving on.
"Kodo Dragon is possibly dragonkin. He must be on Tumblr a lot. Oh there's another one! Red Dragon! He's scary, though. They're taking over the company. Redemption is soon going to only be filled with dragonkin. Look. It says it right here. 'I. Am. Dragonkin.'"
"That says Shinohata... where he's from."
"You're a liar and a thief. Moving on! Oh…. We can’t forget about our new boss. Devlin Scott. He’s dreamy.”
“Don’t say that. He’s our boss.”
“I can do what I want. Most females have crushes on their bosses. It’s a statistic.”
“A percent or number is a statistic. Not the word ‘most’. Besides… it wouldn’t be a statistic anyways even if it had a number, since it’s not true. So you’re wrong.”
“You’re wrong.”
“You are!”
“Here’s Ezrynn! She’s the one smarter of the twins. She knows statistics and stuff. And also she’s cool. So there.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“You are… Reggie Cyde! Now THAT is a man that has mommy issues. He looks like he’s staring into your soul. With his beady little eyeballs. Okay… Here… Fiona Marie Larson. She’s a ginger! Gross.”
“Oh my god, Ez. We’re gingers.”
“Yeah… but we’re smart enough to hide it."
”Until you get bored and grow it out again."
“That’s true. Maybe she’s a long lost sister of ours.”
Ezrynn stops talking for a moment, staring at the photo on her screen. She then shrugs her shoulders.
“Nah.”
She shakes her head and switches to the next person.
“Bad News Brawler. This guy seems like bad news. We should avoid him at all costs. Though I’d like to rub his head and see if I can see myself in the shine.”
She smiles big, clearly daydreaming about doing as she said.
“Ew. Dude.”
“What? That’s normal… Next is Jeremy Starling.Pretty boy. But… like… not? Pretty to someone? His mum maybe?”
“Don’t be rude.”
“Already was. Too late. Dick Devereaux.”
She completely butchered his last name pronunciation. But on purpose. She knew very well the proper way to say it. She snickered after the name.
“Heh. Dick.”
“Don’t.”
“He’s cute, though. I like him.”
Illiya let out a sigh of relief.
“But he’s probably a real dick…”
Illiya closed her eyes. She knew it was coming. She shook her head at her sister, who was staring directly at her, her lips curled into a smile that she was using to stop herself from laughing.
“Just… Just move on.”
“Kay. Kaylee Kassie. Isn’t that the girl who posted her boobs on Twitter? Isn’t that against the internet rules?”
“No. Facebook is censored. So is instagram.. Twitter is a cesspool of breasts and vaginas and bums.”
“My bum is on there!”
“Yes… it is…”
Illiya sighed again.
“They were weird boobs… But not as weird as the name Spike Steel! Just joking. He gave me good advice about creepers on the Twitter as well. We’re best friends now.”
Ezrynn smiled to herself.
“Xavier Cain. Some guy. With a face. And a hood. He looks like he could play footie. Maybe fakes injuries when the ball hits his knee gently or something. Maybe he does that when he wrestles too. He’s probably really entertaining in the ring when he does that. Now if I see him wrestle and he doesn’t do it, I’ll be disappointed. Okay… this guy. He’s screaming in his photo. Jenson Idol. He kind of looks nerdy in that silly sleeveless jacket thing. Is it cool to idolize nerds now? Dang! You missed out, Illiya! If you were yourself in high school now, you’d be cool. Wouldn’t that be weird?”
“Shut up.”
“I’m just saying.”
“I was cool enough.”
“That’s true. You were cool to me and that’s all that matters.”
Ezrynn quickly wrapped her arms tightly around her sister, squeezing as hard as she could.
“Okay ow!”
“Alright. Back to work.”
She let go and went back to focusing on the computer.
“Okay. This guy. Mikhail Reinhardt. He’s very vocal on Twitter. Got this attitude thing going on. I’m not sure whether I like it or not. He has a lot of family members as well. Keeping it in the family like those Graves people maybe. Next is Yujiro Fujiwara. He looks so spiffy in his little suit! He looks like an asian supermodel man. We should do a photoshoot together one day.”
“He would probably hate you.”
“Nobody hates me. Ever.”
“You sure?”
“One kajillion percent. THAT’S a statistic.”
“No it’s not.”
“Well fine… Giovanna Mancini is a statistic.”
“Why’s that?”
“There is a one in seven chance that she is the daughter of a mobster.”
“That’s a good statistic. Not a true one… but a good use of one. Why, though?”
“Her last name sounds like a mobster last name and I’m just making assumptions and stopped caring after I said it. Her pose in her picture is stupid. NEXT!”
She scrolls to the next person.
“Avery Miles the Third. He’s royalty. I just know it. He’s probably a knight that stepped down to wrestle. That’s brave. He’s brave. He should share his story of how his parents were pirates and he got knighted into The Round Table and was banished and used his skills he learned in knightdom to his advantage in the new sport of wrestling.”
“Could you get off the pirate thing?”
“Pirates are cool.”
“Maybe a thousand years ago…”
“Maybe I’m a thousand years old and still like pirates. You think about that?”
Illiya rolled her eyes.
“Anyway. Next is Courtney Leinart. I hate the name Courtney. So now I hate her. We could have been friends, lady. Change your name and we can be friends again. After her is… RC Tucker. Is that a toy car brand? Like Remote Control Tucker? MAYBE HE’S A ROBOT TOO!”
“Stop yelling. He’s not a robot.”
“He could be! He could be, Illiya! We don’t know! He might be taking over the industry!”
“He might be thinking he’s taking over the industry… but not because he’s a robot.”
“Fine. Next is Caroline O’Hara Burchill. It looks like she got her photo taken in front of a wind turbine. Or maybe She gels her hair out weird like that, since her face doesn’t look weird because of the wind. I don’t understand hairstyles these days…”
The camera pans up Ezrynn’s hair, showing her hair spiked up in all its glory.
“Up next is Anton Chase. He looks mad. So I’m not going to say anything more about him. After that is Martin Karloff, who is doing this weird thing in his photo where he puts his chin down against his neck and creates triple chins and then glares at the person looking at him? There’s no extra chins, though. I think he photoshopped them out. Because that’s impossible. Look.”
Ezrynn turns around to the camera and exaggerates the look he’s made in his photo. She get’s almost a ‘second chin’ forming from excess skin at her neck, but she doesn’t have much. It’s good enough for her, though, as she runs her fingers along to check. Illiya slaps her arm and Ezrynn’s head shoots up to glare at her.
“Stop doing that. It’s unattractive. People will screen shot this and make a meme out of it.”
“So? I don’t care.”
“Fine. Be weird and awkward. I don’t care.”
“Good. I will. Next is Alice Knight. She looks twelve. Is that legal? Can we have twelve year olds wrestling here? I’m telling the boss.”
Illiya grabs the mouse and scrolls down the profile for Alice. She highlights her age to show Ez.
“Says here she’s thirty.”
“WHAT!?”
“Yep. Thirty. Right there.”
“Fake ID. Like McLovin. She’s a liar. Moving on!”
Ezrynn scrolls down and lingers on the next one. She smiles, tilting her head a bit as she looks at the photo dreamily.
“And last but not least… is Matthew Shields. Gosh he’s pretty.”
“Ugh.”
“Look at him! The tattoos. The face area. The arm bits. He’s just…”
She trails off. Illiya puts her finger in her mouth slightly, pretending to force herself to throw up. She makes gagging noises to go along with it.
“His voice… the southern accent… mmm…”
“You’re disgusting. He’s gross. You’re gross. I hope he steps on a nail.”
“I like.”
“I don’t. Wait… What about-“
The camera turns off abruptly. The guy starts to quickly pack up his stuff.
“Where are you going??”
Illiya stands up from her seat and walks over to the camera man.
“I told you… I have another gig at one o’clock. It’s already twelve thirty eight. I was supposed to leave five minutes ago. I gotta run.”
“We’re not even done yet.”
“Sorry, ladies. I have to go film for some big-time star over in 4CW.”
“What the hell is that?”
“Some other place. But I gotta go. Good luck, ladies.”
“Ughhhhh…. Ezrynn!”
She turns around to see her twin still staring at a photo of Matthew Shields. Illiya makes a frustrated sound and walks over, pressing the power button on the computer and turning it off.
“Hey!”
“He’s gross. Get over it. He’s a distraction.”
“Is not.”
“You’re distracted right now. And you wasted all the time we had with the camera guy talking about literally EVERYONE else but our opponents this week! Who does that?”
“Who are our opponents? We’re not in a battle royal?”
“We have a tag match! Against John Blade and Alicia Hixx!”
“Who?”
“Oh my GOD! Are you serious? Do you do this on purpose?”
“I never saw those people. So no.”
“You never research. Ever. You’re lucky I do and give you the cliffsnotes before we go out there. Not like you listen…”
“I don’t.”
“You’re so frustrating!”
“It’s why you love me. I don’t care, Illiya. We’ll just go out there and do what we always do. Kick ass. They’ll see what the Terror Twins are made of, whoever they are. They don’t even matter, anyway!”
“I’m going to go make some lunch.”
“Make me a sandwich.”
“No.”
“Please?”
She looks at her sister with puppy dog eyes.
“Fine.”
“Yessssss…”
Ezrynn smiles as Illiya walks away. She then pulls out her sisters tablet and loads up Twitter. She types up her next tweet.
— @broken_shields Wanna come over? Illiya is
making sandwiches. I wanna hear you call me
nice names with your pretty accent.
making sandwiches. I wanna hear you call me
nice names with your pretty accent.
THE END.
