Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2016 0:09:57 GMT -5
There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time. ~ Malcolm X
***
I never fancied myself a losing man.
At one point in my life, I had everything I wanted. I had a fiance, I had the wealth of my family's business, I had the legacy of my grandfather in the world of Australian wrestling League. I had two title reigns with their so aptly named ‘Legacy’ title, the equivalent to any other company’s main title.
But what is that they say, appearances can be deceiving.
In fact, I wouldn’t even say I was the happiest. I had everything I thought I wanted, but in actual fact I had nothing I needed, only what I wanted, what I had deemed necessary to get to where I had envisioned myself as a child.
The glass quickly shattered on my fragile universe and I thought for sure by coming to America, to find and rekindle the broken relationship with my baby sister that it was the step in the right direction, and it had been.
I was gaining her trust. I had found myself a gaggle of friends I could trust. I had found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I had won tag titles, something that I never thought I would be able to do with a man whom I had come to care for as a brother. But once again that glass cracked and I was forced back to a reality where things could have been taken from me. I had to forfeit my tag title. I had to abandon my new family to help my old one. My sister, had her career taken from her as she chose our father’s life for what could have been a successful wrestling legacy of her own. On top of that, the relationship I had built with Lisbeth had crumbled after my returning home.
When I returned again, determined to not let my life once again be dashed to ruins, it was Emma that supported me this time. Who told me that there were plenty of fish in the sea and despite our abrupt departure, our school of fish still was there for us, for me.
You see, Jenson Idle can twist my history into any shape he wishes to suit his own demented reality but the facts are facts for a reason. You see, I wasn’t wrong when I said he ran, in fact in his original online biography for IPW he even states plainly that he ran because of the negative influence, not to reach the so called, “land of opportunities” but honestly, it doesn’t matter. IT doesn’t matter that he thinks himself the one that ended Emma’s career. Because it was being a good and loving daughter that did that. Losing a kidney puts you at too high a risk to be involved in any high impact sports but she wasn’t sore about it. She could have said no. But she didn’t. And now, she’s training others at SoCal to be the best. To do what she couldn’t do and have a long and lasting career. She had no regrets. And me? To say I’ve accomplished nothing is complete hogwash but it’s one of those things. The people that cannot look at themselves in the mirror have to make up stories about others in order to make themselves feel better. To help them forget the pain of whatever is lurking in the dark recesses of their minds. The voices that tell them they are weak, or stupid or any number of disparaging things. Jenson wants to ignore his shortcomings and instead,use a slight of hand to distract you.
He likes to tell people things about themselves and give others the impression that he knows all about you but yet does very little research. Runs his mouth.
I can’t blame him for taking the opportunity over me when I was stunned. Fact remains it is my own fault for not being absolutely alert in my match, in my position. IT is the fact that I care about others that put me into that position. And to be very frank...
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I would rather lose every single match I fight then to not have Avery Miles in my life. Despite the fact that we worked each other over, I was his best man when he got married two days ago. I even stepped in and gave my very dear friend Taylor away. And even though we are headed into a match to face each other, one of many I might say, That feeling I have when I see him does not change and it will not change after this match.
He’s right. Win or lose, we shake each other's hands and go and grab a pint.
People forget the true meaning of sportsmanship. It has become a game of who can out insult the other. Who can rage the best war of words. Who can take the most shortcuts. Avery and I? We represent the way that this should be done. We may boast in jest about each other’s wins and loses over each other. Who he has beaten that I couldn’t or vice versa but it is never meant to harm each other.
I trust that man with my life and in that ring I trust it even more, even if the son of a bitch has the hardest fucking kick I have ever felt. And he can take that to be bank.
Overall though?
Despite the things I have planned for Redemption. The things I wish to do, which I still have not even told anyone, I am not going to be a follower in a crowd of selfish worthless people in this only to be the biggest bully.
But I tell you this,
I will be the largest monster and I will make sure that the waters cleanse the earth of the evil-doers that poison it.
***
:::OFF CAMERA:::
December 10, 2016
The wedding reception of Avery and Taylor Miles
I understood that she was still kicking herself in the arse over letting Devlin go. I got it though. It was the same amount of regret I had for letting my relationship with Lisbeth fall apart. But the difference is, I may have been falling in love with that girl, I wasn’t as hopelessly and desperately in love as Em was with Devlin.
I can see her eyes following him and then discreetly looking away when there was a possibility of him seeing her looking.
I give Avery’s shoulder a grab and motion toward the table.
Avery: Yeah... I tried to get her to open up earlier but it was a no go. I don’t want to insert myself into something and push her away. I know she can close up tighter than a bank vault.
LJ: Aye, I get that. She’s been real mopey about that. I thought maybe getting her setup with a new bloke might tell her that she’s being silly holding out for him to leave Trix. I don’t think that is gonna happen and I hate to see her so sad.
Avery: Especially when she’s drinking so heavily. Is she okay to do that? Given that she only has one kidney? I tried to mention it like a joke but I don’t think she really took it like that at all.
I snort.
LJ: They were right about that whole ‘Dark Emma’ thing I tell ya. But Imma gonna nip this in the bud right now.
I take my leave and I kinda hear Avery mumble over his glass a, ‘Good luck’ as I march across the dance floor. I am heads taller than most of the guests. It makes me feel as though I have landed in Oz and not the one I was born in. I stand face to face with my golden sister and swipe the glass from her fingers easily.
Emma: What the hey... I was drinking that...
I shake my head no.
LJ: Not any more you ain’t. Listen to me. You ain’t too big for me to give you a licking.
She chuckles. It was something our grandfather was famous for saying every time we got ourselves into some kind of trouble. Trouble that Em usually caused and I took the blame for. Our Emmaline could do no wrong and I intended to keep it that way. Little did I know that it would turn her into the monster she had become until the day of our mother’s funeral.
Em: I’ve barely drank. I had one full glass and that one I’ve been nursing. I remember the warnings from the doctor LJ. I’m not stupid.
I raise an eyebrow at her.
LJ: You sure about that? You are still pining over the boss man.
We both look out to the dance floor where the charismatic owner of the company I worked for whisked his lovely young girlfriend across the makeshift dance floor. She laughs as he dramatically dips her. I look over and Em and see a hint of a tear in her eye. I lean into her.
LJ: You can’t keep wishing it was you. And believe me you don’t want it to be. You are far prettier, far smarter and far more talented than she is. She’s a nice lass don’t get me wrong. Sweetest girl I have probably met but some things fade with time and her beauty certainly will. Your beauty is on the inside and outside Ems. And you’re gonna find yourself a bloke that sees that and doesn’t give up when you go all bat shit crazy.
She smiles but it doesn’t stop the tear from sliding down her cheek. I pull out my pocket square and wipe it away and then look both ways as I say loudly.
LJ: Had a bit of sauce there. So sloppy.
She gives me a look for gratitude. She never liked to have anyone see her cry. Over anything. And I knew she had done a lot of it, especially over the last few months.
I see Avery’s newer student Alechs walking by. He has a plate full of snacks and I grab his arm. He looks up at me startled, his mouth already full.
Alechs: *Muffled* Hey
LJ: Listen mate. Could you give my sis a dance? Make her feel good.
I point towards Em who is still fixated on the dance floor. Alechs looks at her and then back at me and then back at Em. His eyes go wide as he swallows.
Alechs: Is that... Emma? Emma Dylan? From IPW, right?
I smirk.
LJ: Avery is right, you are pretty astute for a youngin. Yes. Give her dance. Make her feel pretty and I won’t tell Avery that you were doing something bad.
Alechs looks annoyed.
Alechs: Look man, you don’t have to try to start shit. I mean, she is pretty good looking and I like the accent but I…
I shake my head.
LJ: I’m not asking you to date her. Just dance with her for the love of god. Could you just do that?
I take the plate of food from his startled hands. He nods his head, clears his throat and straightens his tie and walks over to my sister. Normally, the kid is only an inch lower than her but she was wearing three inch heels tonight, putting her well over 6’1. He looks up slightly and offers his hand.
Alechs: Will you uh... give me the honor of.... Dancing with me Miss Emma?
Emma, for once actually looks bashful and she accepts and I watch him lead her out to the floor. I wasn’t expecting it to lead to anything but it was at least enough to let her know that she wasn’t unattractive or unapproachable. Not to mention that she looked great tonight.
Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t want to. Sometimes we are forced to get involved and sometimes we inadvertently hurt the ones we love.
I have made many mistakes in my life, but who hasn’t. Who can say that every step they have made has been perfect? I may have to go out there and beat my best mate, my brother, my family but I knew that our friendship was stronger than any match, any title and big boots or heel kicks.
And I certainly was not going to let anybody tell me what I am but I will tell them what I am...
Avery has come up beside me again sporting a plate not all that different than the one Alechs had moments earlier. He points out at the couple and gives a chuckle. Em and Alechs appear to be talking shop and I see the smile creep up on her face.
Avery: I'm not going to ask how that happened...
I nod.
LJ: Wise decision. I just needed her to know that she’s not some old maid.
Avery: Naw... that’s just you.
He slaps me on the back and I roll my eyes.
...but I will tell everyone what I am...
I am the Leviathan and a storm is coming.
