Post by Alice Knight on Dec 7, 2016 0:11:59 GMT -5
We open on a shot of a dump in Cleveland Ohio. Hundreds of homeless people can be seen standing around a poorly made stage. We see a Redemption Wrestling van pulling in. This is what turns out to be the GREASY awards. Where homeless people unite for a night to celebrate each other. Alice Knight herself will be honored here.
Hobo Joe, the MC for tonight, comes out wearing a dirty white tuxedo covered in what we only hope is mud under his giant filthy beard. He wobbles out and takes the mic.
Hobo Joe- Welcome everyone to the 5th Annual .... ALGHHHH (he lets out a nasty cough and spits).... the 5th Annual GREASYS!! The only award show made by bums for the bums. We no need a 'facility' or a 'building' to hold our show. We honour ourselves where GOD would want us too... RIGHT HERE AT THE BLOODY DUMP!! SO HAVE A GOOD TIME! FREE CREAM CORN FOR EVERYONE!
All the bums cheer holding up their drinks, that are in a variety of old soup cans and jars.
Richard Kelly, one of Redemptions interviewers, can be seen in the back of the crowd with a R.W. Camera man. He looks around confused, not sure where the hell he is.
Richard Kelly(looking at the camera man)- What are we doing here, again? Winter Solstice is coming up, and we're freezing our asses off here. Smells like rotten bananas.
Camera Man- It most certainly smells like rotten bananas. Here to interview that new girl on the roster. Alice Knight or something. She invited a Redemption wrestling journalist to come to this um 'important night' for her. You lost the coin toss. So here you are...
Richard Kelly- Lovely. Does this Alice chick look hot anyway?
Alice quietly walks up wearing a peacoat and pleaded skirt. She sneaks behind Richard and hugs him frightening him a little bit.
Richard Kelly- Jesus i thought i was getting mugged by a prostitute... you must be Alice Knight, right?
Alice Knight- Yes sir. And no i'm not a prostitute... i mean back in 2008 i did some weird things and fooled around with a few sailors but that was 2008... i mean who didn't do that, really? Crazy 2008...
Richard Kelly- Riiight. So i know we agreed to interview before Winter Solstice but i didn't expect to drive to the Cleveland dump and be surrounded by and stared at by over 100 homeless people.
Alice Knight(looking around smiling)- Isn't it great? Isn't it wonderful? Do you smell that... that is the smell of a group of happy people who survived another year and ready to get loose and have a good ol' time... (she sniffs around)... or it could be that can of old rotten banana peels laying over there...
Richard Kelly(covers his nose)- Yeah... i think so. So Alice, you dragged us here. Shall we talk about Redemptions Winter Solstice show? You will be competing in the first ever Redemption Elimination Challenge Match on the first night of our weekend take over in Cleveland... Against some of the tougher opponents in R.W.
Alice Knight- Totally. Kodo Dragon and Red Dragon? B.N.B. and Freddie Styles? And let's not forget Reggie Clyde? I mean these stars seem legit. I mean some of these guys are house hold names around the wrestling world. But hey, i've made a pretty decent name for myself as well. I'm Alice 'friggen' Knight. Wrestling sensation. The brawling queen. The hardboiled egg goddess... the...
Richard Kelly- Hard... boiled? What? Did you say egg?
Alice Knight(smirking)- Nev-er-mind. But i'm also to receive an honorary GREASY award here tonight from my fellow people...
Richard Kelly- From the bums, you mean? Here. At the dump?
And how are you always dressed so nice...
Alice Knight- Well it sounds weird and confusing when you put it that way...
but let's just say even some homeless people like to take care of themselves and dress proper like. And i know a girl at the thrift shop who hoooks me up. But c'mon, don't put it that way...
Richard Kelly- There's another way to put it?
Alice Knight(thinking)- Well... there... um...
Before she could answer she is interrupted by someone clinging together a cooking pan with a spoon on top of the stage. The stage... made of wooden skids and duct tape.
Bum- Hey i'm Ferguson... you may remember be as the guy who killed, skinned and ate that raw rabbit at this year's Talent Show. But ladies and gentlemen, our first award of the night is an honorary one. And it's for Most Successful Hobo Chick, That Is Not a Hooker, Award of the Year. We were gonna give it to Bertha Jones, who made the New Hampshire local newspaper for eating the most potatoes at the years fair.
Bertha waves to the bums, mouth full of potatoes.
Ferguson - But when then this other little lady got a wrestling contract for THE Redemption Wrestling just this week, and will be on television week after week. She has to be given this award. She is kind, fun, and just a real sweet person for a homeless chick. She owns the Knight Rider. She is wrestling star, Miss Alice Knight!!!
Alice tells a bored and confused Richard Kelly to hang on as she spreads her arms and walks through the crowd of dirty homeless people, shopping carts and hissing/moaning in heat stray cats. She climbs the skids and walks next to Ferguson. They hug and laugh as Alice takes the award, an Oscar like award made out of electrical tape. She smiles at it holding it up before taking the mic.
Alice Knight- "I wish i could quit you!" (she smiles at the award) Brokeback Moun?- Nevermind. Anyway, it's super awesome to be here in Cleveland at the GREASY's. And while i do respect getting this award. It truly is an honor. But getting a chance at the Redemption Wrestling Genesis Championship belt is so important to me. Much more than anything else at the moment. Winning that belt down the road will prove that all I've worked for in the wrestling business was worth it. But being that this open Challenge Elimination match or whatever it's called is a first for Redemption, and the fact that i'm in the ring with people like Styles, Red Dragon, Kodo, Clyde and B.N.B...
Bum From The Crowd- B.M.? I like'em chocolates that make me B.M.! You should try'em!
Alice Knight- I have no problems in that department... and i said B.N.B. Bad News Brawler. He's legit. Not a piece of um... B.M. In fact since we are both known for brawling. If we end up together in the match, it may get nasty. Red Dragon is a legend. Kodo, Reggie and Styles i'm not 100% familiar with but I can't underestimate them. I can't be the weak one! I refuse to be the one in the match that doesn't deliver. Us six will put on a hell of a show, but i'm going to do what i can to win... And...
Bum- Take off your shirt...
Alice Knight- How coarse... come on guys. This is important for me. At Redemptions Solstice i'm becoming the number 1 contender and ....
Bum- She owns an RV Trailer! She isn't even a REAL bum! Throw bananas at her!
Bum- I'm sorry we're all out of bananas!
Bum- Well let's swarm the stage and steal her award and money! But no raping! We're respectable tonight!
The group of bums and hookers moan and grunt in disappointment as they run towards the skid stage.
Ferguson - We're not zombies. Everyone relax.
Alice Knight- No! We are like zombies. Will i eat your brain... no... but do i want too? Yes. GOD YES!
A bum punches Alice in the face, but she just shakes it off and throws him off the skids into more trash. Ferguson hides behind Alice and she stands in a fighting pose. She kicks the first dirty bum in the face. Stomps on another ones hand. She grabs one and delivers a DDT to him. But the bums keep coming like brain hungry zombies. Alice thinks fast, and digs in her hand bag and pulls out two handfuls of loose change and throws it to the ground. In which every bum desperately scramble to get some. Alice grabs Ferguson and rushes towards Kelly and the cameraman and they jump into the Redemption Wrestling production van.
Richard Kelly- What the HELL just happened?
Ferguson - Damn, Alice. That was like 5 dollars in change. Your job must pay well.
Alice Knight laughing- You know it! And yes, Richard, I know it's weird, right? That just happened! Do you love it? Do you... do you... tell me you love it? Do you love it?
Richard Kelly- Good god no!
Alice Knight- Such a rush! Well to answer your question from earlier... I will be winning at Winter Solstice! And I'm gonna make a big name for myself in Redemption. Get me a Genesis championship shot. You. Will. See. They. Will. All. See. Do. You. See? Do. You. See? Do...
Richard Kelly- Jesus, Alice... yes... i see. I see. We all see. Now can we get the hell out of here?
Alice Knight - Sure. Let's do it to it. Let's get this party started! Who wants to stop at Gross Burger? I got coupons! And i can tell you the time i met Frank Stallone... I remember it wasn't so long ago when i was working at GROSS-BURGER on Santa Monica Boulevard where I seated people to their booth/table ... not an official work title which they constantly reminded me of. When at 3am in walked Frank Stallone and his entourage. He ordered the chilli-egg-pizza-burger and sat down to eat it. I quickly put on the theme from Stayin Alive and we bonded as great friends... until i later found out I was just high on super glue and i was talking to a garbage bag of onion peelings.... they called the cops and everything.
Ferguson- Stories from Alice and some Gross Burgers. This is a great night...
Richard Kelly sighs and groans while Alice rambles on some more. He drives out of the dump speeding through the homeless people as the scene fades to black.
Hobo Joe, the MC for tonight, comes out wearing a dirty white tuxedo covered in what we only hope is mud under his giant filthy beard. He wobbles out and takes the mic.
Hobo Joe- Welcome everyone to the 5th Annual .... ALGHHHH (he lets out a nasty cough and spits).... the 5th Annual GREASYS!! The only award show made by bums for the bums. We no need a 'facility' or a 'building' to hold our show. We honour ourselves where GOD would want us too... RIGHT HERE AT THE BLOODY DUMP!! SO HAVE A GOOD TIME! FREE CREAM CORN FOR EVERYONE!
All the bums cheer holding up their drinks, that are in a variety of old soup cans and jars.
Richard Kelly, one of Redemptions interviewers, can be seen in the back of the crowd with a R.W. Camera man. He looks around confused, not sure where the hell he is.
Richard Kelly(looking at the camera man)- What are we doing here, again? Winter Solstice is coming up, and we're freezing our asses off here. Smells like rotten bananas.
Camera Man- It most certainly smells like rotten bananas. Here to interview that new girl on the roster. Alice Knight or something. She invited a Redemption wrestling journalist to come to this um 'important night' for her. You lost the coin toss. So here you are...
Richard Kelly- Lovely. Does this Alice chick look hot anyway?
Alice quietly walks up wearing a peacoat and pleaded skirt. She sneaks behind Richard and hugs him frightening him a little bit.
Richard Kelly- Jesus i thought i was getting mugged by a prostitute... you must be Alice Knight, right?
Alice Knight- Yes sir. And no i'm not a prostitute... i mean back in 2008 i did some weird things and fooled around with a few sailors but that was 2008... i mean who didn't do that, really? Crazy 2008...
Richard Kelly- Riiight. So i know we agreed to interview before Winter Solstice but i didn't expect to drive to the Cleveland dump and be surrounded by and stared at by over 100 homeless people.
Alice Knight(looking around smiling)- Isn't it great? Isn't it wonderful? Do you smell that... that is the smell of a group of happy people who survived another year and ready to get loose and have a good ol' time... (she sniffs around)... or it could be that can of old rotten banana peels laying over there...
Richard Kelly(covers his nose)- Yeah... i think so. So Alice, you dragged us here. Shall we talk about Redemptions Winter Solstice show? You will be competing in the first ever Redemption Elimination Challenge Match on the first night of our weekend take over in Cleveland... Against some of the tougher opponents in R.W.
Alice Knight- Totally. Kodo Dragon and Red Dragon? B.N.B. and Freddie Styles? And let's not forget Reggie Clyde? I mean these stars seem legit. I mean some of these guys are house hold names around the wrestling world. But hey, i've made a pretty decent name for myself as well. I'm Alice 'friggen' Knight. Wrestling sensation. The brawling queen. The hardboiled egg goddess... the...
Richard Kelly- Hard... boiled? What? Did you say egg?
Alice Knight(smirking)- Nev-er-mind. But i'm also to receive an honorary GREASY award here tonight from my fellow people...
Richard Kelly- From the bums, you mean? Here. At the dump?
And how are you always dressed so nice...
Alice Knight- Well it sounds weird and confusing when you put it that way...
but let's just say even some homeless people like to take care of themselves and dress proper like. And i know a girl at the thrift shop who hoooks me up. But c'mon, don't put it that way...
Richard Kelly- There's another way to put it?
Alice Knight(thinking)- Well... there... um...
Before she could answer she is interrupted by someone clinging together a cooking pan with a spoon on top of the stage. The stage... made of wooden skids and duct tape.
Bum- Hey i'm Ferguson... you may remember be as the guy who killed, skinned and ate that raw rabbit at this year's Talent Show. But ladies and gentlemen, our first award of the night is an honorary one. And it's for Most Successful Hobo Chick, That Is Not a Hooker, Award of the Year. We were gonna give it to Bertha Jones, who made the New Hampshire local newspaper for eating the most potatoes at the years fair.
Bertha waves to the bums, mouth full of potatoes.
Ferguson - But when then this other little lady got a wrestling contract for THE Redemption Wrestling just this week, and will be on television week after week. She has to be given this award. She is kind, fun, and just a real sweet person for a homeless chick. She owns the Knight Rider. She is wrestling star, Miss Alice Knight!!!
Alice tells a bored and confused Richard Kelly to hang on as she spreads her arms and walks through the crowd of dirty homeless people, shopping carts and hissing/moaning in heat stray cats. She climbs the skids and walks next to Ferguson. They hug and laugh as Alice takes the award, an Oscar like award made out of electrical tape. She smiles at it holding it up before taking the mic.
Alice Knight- "I wish i could quit you!" (she smiles at the award) Brokeback Moun?- Nevermind. Anyway, it's super awesome to be here in Cleveland at the GREASY's. And while i do respect getting this award. It truly is an honor. But getting a chance at the Redemption Wrestling Genesis Championship belt is so important to me. Much more than anything else at the moment. Winning that belt down the road will prove that all I've worked for in the wrestling business was worth it. But being that this open Challenge Elimination match or whatever it's called is a first for Redemption, and the fact that i'm in the ring with people like Styles, Red Dragon, Kodo, Clyde and B.N.B...
Bum From The Crowd- B.M.? I like'em chocolates that make me B.M.! You should try'em!
Alice Knight- I have no problems in that department... and i said B.N.B. Bad News Brawler. He's legit. Not a piece of um... B.M. In fact since we are both known for brawling. If we end up together in the match, it may get nasty. Red Dragon is a legend. Kodo, Reggie and Styles i'm not 100% familiar with but I can't underestimate them. I can't be the weak one! I refuse to be the one in the match that doesn't deliver. Us six will put on a hell of a show, but i'm going to do what i can to win... And...
Bum- Take off your shirt...
Alice Knight- How coarse... come on guys. This is important for me. At Redemptions Solstice i'm becoming the number 1 contender and ....
Bum- She owns an RV Trailer! She isn't even a REAL bum! Throw bananas at her!
Bum- I'm sorry we're all out of bananas!
Bum- Well let's swarm the stage and steal her award and money! But no raping! We're respectable tonight!
The group of bums and hookers moan and grunt in disappointment as they run towards the skid stage.
Ferguson - We're not zombies. Everyone relax.
Alice Knight- No! We are like zombies. Will i eat your brain... no... but do i want too? Yes. GOD YES!
A bum punches Alice in the face, but she just shakes it off and throws him off the skids into more trash. Ferguson hides behind Alice and she stands in a fighting pose. She kicks the first dirty bum in the face. Stomps on another ones hand. She grabs one and delivers a DDT to him. But the bums keep coming like brain hungry zombies. Alice thinks fast, and digs in her hand bag and pulls out two handfuls of loose change and throws it to the ground. In which every bum desperately scramble to get some. Alice grabs Ferguson and rushes towards Kelly and the cameraman and they jump into the Redemption Wrestling production van.
Richard Kelly- What the HELL just happened?
Ferguson - Damn, Alice. That was like 5 dollars in change. Your job must pay well.
Alice Knight laughing- You know it! And yes, Richard, I know it's weird, right? That just happened! Do you love it? Do you... do you... tell me you love it? Do you love it?
Richard Kelly- Good god no!
Alice Knight- Such a rush! Well to answer your question from earlier... I will be winning at Winter Solstice! And I'm gonna make a big name for myself in Redemption. Get me a Genesis championship shot. You. Will. See. They. Will. All. See. Do. You. See? Do. You. See? Do...
Richard Kelly- Jesus, Alice... yes... i see. I see. We all see. Now can we get the hell out of here?
Alice Knight - Sure. Let's do it to it. Let's get this party started! Who wants to stop at Gross Burger? I got coupons! And i can tell you the time i met Frank Stallone... I remember it wasn't so long ago when i was working at GROSS-BURGER on Santa Monica Boulevard where I seated people to their booth/table ... not an official work title which they constantly reminded me of. When at 3am in walked Frank Stallone and his entourage. He ordered the chilli-egg-pizza-burger and sat down to eat it. I quickly put on the theme from Stayin Alive and we bonded as great friends... until i later found out I was just high on super glue and i was talking to a garbage bag of onion peelings.... they called the cops and everything.
Ferguson- Stories from Alice and some Gross Burgers. This is a great night...
Richard Kelly sighs and groans while Alice rambles on some more. He drives out of the dump speeding through the homeless people as the scene fades to black.
