Post by The Mega Busters on May 25, 2018 9:43:00 GMT -5
Thursday - May 24, 2018, 2:13PM
We find our “heroes” - Matthew Miles (the charismatic leader of the duo collectively known as the Mega Busters with his best friend Kevin Allen, better known under his wrestling alias/gaming handle as Psycho Sagus) and Ashleigh Cash (Miles’ girlfriend slash valet and part-time in-ring talent) if you could them that... in their New York City apartment, doing what they normally do on their days off, crashing on the couch in the living room. An assortment of gaming consoles - old and new - covering the floor in front of the 55” television. Matthew surfs through the 400+ channels on TV for something to watch while Ashleigh rests her head on his shoulder while thumbing through her phone.
Kevin comes running out of his bedroom in a panic, causing Ashleigh and Matt to jump up with a start as he hops on the couch to join them.
“Guys, we have a dilemma…”
Ashleigh crosses her arms over her chest before commenting, “About time you guys got on the ball and realize that shit is about to hit the fan. We have a really busy weekend coming up regardless of the fact that it’s a holiday weekend...”
Kevin: “Yeah, we don’t have much time either… We have until the end of the week to prepare. Gotta get some training in, restock up on resources for the road, and totally get our heads back into the game…”
Matt chimes in, “Oh definitely. Kulve Taroth returns to Monster Hunter World on Friday! We never got all of the Golden Glimstone Gems to make the Kulve Taroth alpha and beta armor sets!”
Kevin adds, “This could be our last chance EVER to get the rare relic weapons too!”
Ashleigh smacks them both across the back of their heads.
Matt rubs his head, “Owww! what was that for, babe? We really have a crisis going on here.”
Ashleigh shook her head and rubs her temple.
“Saturday night is the start of the Tag Team Series that we entered for New Generation Wrestling, then Monday night, we have to compete at the Riot Control Pay-Per-View for Ground Zero Wrestling Association. Priorities, boys.”
Kevin gives Ashleigh the sad puppy dog face, “C’mon PWWEEEEEASSSEEE… just let us grind for a LITTLE while. We’ll give the matches our best shot, but this is life or death here!”
Matthew laughs, “Stop wasting your time with that tactic, buddy. That doesn’t even work for me and I’m her boyfriend…
Aside from that, she’s giving us a hard time because she already got the damn armor set when we never got any Golden Glimstone Gems to drop.”
Ashleigh shrugs, “What? Can you blame me? You both know I have a weakness for gold.”
Kevin continues to plead while Matt adds, “How can you say no to a face like that?”
Ashleigh rolls her eyes, “Just like every other woman with a fully functioning brain… I still don’t understand how a nice girl like Alice’s sister would want to date him when she could do so much better…”
Matthew sighs, “You know that everyone says that about us too…”
Ashleigh snaps back, “Excuse my french, but fuck the haters…”
Kevin: “Weren’t you just hatin’ on me and my girlfriend…?”
Ashleigh: “Shut up, Kevin.”
Matt chuckles briefly before changing the subject, “So who are we facing in the first round of the Tag Team Series anyway?”
Ashleigh scrolls through her phone and replies, “Brooklyn’s Finest, consisting of Arabella Madison from HYBRID Wrestling and Global Championship Wrestling’s Morgan Valentine.
Hmmm… Isn’t that a bit of irony. We get a battle of the sexes right off the bat.”
Matt shrugs, “You know we don’t have any issues fighting any chicks. We’re equal opportunity ass-kickers.”
Kevin sighs, “Yeah, when we’re not getting our own asses kicked… Look, I get it. This isn’t a video game. We can’t pull an all-nighter and be over-leveled like fuck to go up against the next boss like this was getting Lionheart immediately after you leave Balamb Garden on Final Fantasy VIII.”
Matt adds, “You’re acting like we’re going to play Mega Man II WITHOUT using the Metal Blade on any and EVERY thing in that damn game afterwards.”
Kevin blurts out, “You still gotta use Bubble Lead on the alien at the end…”
Ashleigh groans as she continues to read up on their opponents.
“Arabella’s got quite a few accolades underneath her belt. Two-time, and first ever, IWC Queen of the Ring Champion. IWC No Limits Champion. IWC Uprising Co-World Champion. With her cousin, Morgan backing her up they aren’t going to be pushovers.
Oh… and Arabella’s already tweeting about you guys being Fruit Gushers or something and having no substance.”
Matthew shook his head, “She could’ve at least called us Fruit Roll-ups or something. So not cool.”
Ashleigh mumbles under her breath, “I would’ve called you two Frankenberry ‘cause quite frankly I don’t know what I’m going to do with you two sometimes…”
Kevin shrugs, “Could be worse. She could’ve called us NERDS like everyone else seems to recycle and rehash as the same insult material. At this point, that’s a compliment. I wield my +12 mace of Noob-Slaying with pride!”
Matt: “I know, right?”
Ashleigh nods in agreement.
“So what’s the plan then, boys?”
Matt and Kevin look at each other and silently nod in agreement.
Matt speaks up first, “They are in the same boat as us. Brooklyn’s Finest may talk a big game but they’ve never been in the ring with us. They never seen what we can do up close and personal… Don’t worry, Ash, this isn’t a date.”
Ashleigh stared blankly back at him, “Oh, I wasn’t worried… Even if it were, you wouldn’t live to tell about if you even encouraged that thought to possibly cheat on me.”
Kevin snickered, “He cheated on you when he choose Miranda to romance before the suicide mission in Mass Effect 2.”
Ashleigh: “That doesn’t count. Hell, I’d do Miranda Lawson if she was a real person.”
Matt: “HELLO?? Yvonne Strahovski?? How can you say no to that?”
Kevin rubs his chin, “Good point, but I had no complaints with picking Tali either.”
Ashleigh shouts, “Guys, FOCUS!”
Kevin: “So yeah… we’ll treat this match like a blind playthrough of Dark Souls. We don’t know what to expect, but we’ll keep on our toes and be on the lookout for whatever spawn of Satan wants to come out of the woodwork and attempt to kick us in the junk with steel tipped shoes on. ”
Matt: “I couldn’t have described that game nor our gameplan for this match any better than that.”
Ashleigh looks to her phone and notices that the bracket layout has changed.
"Wait, there's been a change to the card. Looks like you'll be facing The Killing Joke in the first round instead of Brooklyn's Finest."
Kevin: "I saw that movie already. That was pretty messed up how Batman and Batgirl just make out on a dirty rooftop like that. Birds poop up there all the damn time. Imagine being Alfred having to clean up his suit after that."
Matt does his best British accent: "Master Bruce, I didn't sign up to clean the nut juice out of your night wear. I may have changed your diapers when you were a young lad, but I didn't sign up for this shit."
Kevin: "I wasn't surprised either, 'cause Bruce Timm was low key trying to get Babs and Bruce to bang as early as the old animated series. Then we got that canon hook-up from the history lesson from Barbara in Batman Beyond too! I mean, damn, Bats couldn't keep it in his pants huh?"
Matt: "Well, if you remember that's the reason it didn't work out. Babs wanted it out of his pants and Bruce wasn't going to go any further with it."
Kevin: "And that's why Old Man Bruce is alone in that cave with Super Blue Balls in Beyond too."
Ashleigh grins, "For crying out loud, you two... You're not fighting against the movie - the SJWs online have done that enough for anyone - but instead you're facing SAP Wrestling's Chelsea Pryce and Allen Chaney."
Matt: "It's definitely hasn't gotten any easier for us with the reshuffling of the brackets. I think we should apply the Bundy family motto to this situation: "It sees us, insults us, we kick its ass"! Simple as that.
Kevin: "They may be vets, but we don't have a problem puttin' a whoopin' on Chelsea and her "Puddin'". Besides, we could be doing her a favor in foresight before she finds herself stripped down to her underwear and watching erotic torture photos of her kids, huh?"
Matt: "Kev, this isn't Civil War II nor Minority Report. We're not stopping crimes before they are executed. We're merely going out there to win a tag team match. Nothing more, nothing less."
Ashleigh: “Just don’t take this opportunity lightly, y’know? We don’t get many big chances to work for other promotions and we were really lucky to get invited by NGW to compete as part of this tag team tournament with so many other teams around the world. We’ll focus on this match coming up for Saturday, then have plenty of them to get our heads into the game for Riot Control back in GZWA on Monday.”
Kevin does his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression from Batman & Robin as he quotes, “FIRST GOTHAM, THEN THE WORLD!!!”
Matt: “Lemme stop you right there before you want to sing that White Christmas song.”
Ashleigh: “Go order us a few pizzas instead, Mr. Freeze.”
Kevin: “I'm afraid the air conditioners left me COLD to your pleas of mercy.”
Ashleigh and Matthew assault Kevin with the pillows off the couch to urge him to make the call as the scene fades to black.