Post by Jazmyn Rain on Apr 1, 2018 15:26:35 GMT -5
“Owning Up”
Date: March 30, 2018
A day before GCW’s latest edition of Livewire in Cincinnati and two days before NGW Legacy: Battle for London, Jazmyn Rain is in her hotel room. The good news for the number one contender to the NGW Five Lakes Championship is that her left arm is now sling free. However, she’s looking around the room, frantically looking for something. On this night, she’s wearing a black pinstripe skirt with a red, short sleeved top. A black coat rests on the counter as the Charlotte native is looking everywhere for something.
Jazmyn: Ugh! Where are my shoes???
It’s apparent that she’s searching for her red colored high heels that she had accidentally left behind in her argument with Derek from earlier in the week. After looking in the bathroom and the closet of her hotel room, Jazmyn takes a deep sigh and sits down on a chair obviously worried about their whereabouts.
Jazmyn: I know they weren’t stolen! How the hell did I lose them? Where are they? UGH!
Jazmyn is doing her best to stay calm as she takes a deep breath and thinks about where she may have left them but this small reprieve from her everyday stressing is interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. Her shoulders slump and she lets out a sigh as she’s clearly not in the brightest of moods to deal with company at the moment. Still, she reluctantly stands up and walks to the door.
Jazmyn: Maybe it’s room service…
Jazmyn unlocks and opens the front door, but it’s not room service. It’s not Derek, or even Camryn, her agent. Her eyes widen in surprise at the sudden sight of her stepmother.
Jazmyn: Tammy? What… what are you doing here? Is my dad with you?
Tammy: No hon, he’s back home. But, he did want me to check up on you.
Jazmyn: I’m… I’m fine. Thanks though.
Tammy: You don’t look fine. You look stressed! May I come in so we can have a chat?
Jazmyn: Um...well… uh… I kinda can’t right now.
Tammy: What’s wrong?
Jazmyn: I can’t find my shoes!
Tammy: Worry about that later, this is important. If your father is sending me here to check up on you, then wouldn’t you think he’s concerned about you right now?
Jazmyn: What could he be concerned about?
Tammy: Well hon, ya gotta let me in first so we can talk about it!
Jazmyn sighs.
Jazmyn: Alright…
Jazmyn reluctantly opens the door wider to allow her stepmother into the room. She wastes no time closing and locking the door before she walks to the bed, sitting on her knees and completely concealing her feet as Tammy sits down next to her.
Tammy: Are you sure you’re alright?
Jazmyn: Yeah…
Tammy: So what happened with Derek earlier this week?
Jazmyn’s eyes widen in shock as she clearly wasn’t expecting her stepmother to know about the big argument that she had with Derek five days prior.
Tammy: He called your father and then your father told me about it.
Jazmyn has a look of sadness and remorse on her face.
Jazmyn: I overreacted, that’s what happened. I was trying to get him to clear me for Battle for London and he didn’t want to… which I understand. Conflict of interest. So, I asked him to tell me if any doctor would clear me and he told me that it wasn’t happening. I took it as him not believing in me and… yeah… I… I’m… I’m so sorry! I’m such a screw up!
Tammy: Don’t say that, sweetheart. You made a mistake.
Jazmyn: Not just ANY mistake… a mistake that’s going to cost me the best relationship I’ve ever had!
Tammy: Darlin’, if Derek was going to break up with you, do ya think he would have called your father for any kind of help?
A tear strolls down Jazmyn’s face before she wipes it away. Tammy places a hand on her left shoulder in a gentle fashion knowing to be as sensitive as possible in consideration for Jazmyn’s recent injury.
Jazmyn: That’s a great point. But… that’s the thing. I know I messed up and I thought this whole time he was mad at me. It just… all came over me… you wouldn’t understand…
Tammy: Why wouldn’t I understand?
Jazmyn: My own mother never bothered to understand, how could any woman be able to?
Tammy: I’m not Catarina, you know that. Ya gotta let go of this habit ya got of assumin’ the worst of everything! I know that you’re takin’ things to heart too much in your career. You take any combination of words and ya take it like if it’s a personal insult! Hon, you’re 33 and you’re the strongest you’ve ever been in your life. Shouldn’t you be past behavin’ like this when ya get stressed out?
Jazmyn: I don’t understand why you would care so much about me…
Tammy: I care so much because even though it ain’t by birth, you’re my daughter and I love you like any mother would!
Hearing those words is a culture shock to Jazmyn who sheds more tears.
Jazmyn: You… you mean that?
Tammy: I’ve always felt that way about you.
Jazmyn: Why couldn’t you be the woman that gave birth to me?
Jazmyn cries some more as her stepmother scoots in and wraps an arm around her, pulling her into a hug.
Tammy: That doesn’t matter! I’m here for you, aren’t I?
Tammy lets her go, enabling Jazmyn to wipe away more tears and nod.
Jazmyn: You’re right… and you’re also right about the way I can be. I hate that I’m so sensitive sometimes. Like… I get triggered so easily by things my peers say about me because it’s like I’m hearing my birth mother say those things to me. I can’t live like this anymore. I have to learn how to separate my enemies in my career from the crap I heard growing up. But I don’t know how! I WANT to be stronger Tammy, but… I can’t find the answers…
Tammy: You’re already stronger! Remember where ya were two years ago? You’re the strongest you’ve ever been and only gettin’ stronger. You know what ya need to do, hon?
Jazmyn: What’s that?
Tammy: Stop givin’ a shit!
Jazmyn: What? But…
Tammy: They’re just words, Jazmyn. “Just there”, “bit player”... need I go on about how silly you’ve made yourself look at times by overreactin’ to those words? I’m not saying you’re silly but… it needs to stop because your father and I know you’re better than that. You may not realize this hon’, but doin’ what you do… bein’ a wrestler and all, doin’ this for people just like you and everything… you’re a role model to so many people out there. You understand what I’m sayin’ right?
Jazmyn: I do… but it almost sounds like the expectation of me is to be perfect.
Tammy: You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be you! You’re only scratchin’ the surface of it, but you gotta lot of small town girls lookin’ up to you because you’re doin’ things in this world that they’ve been told that they were incapable of and you’re that beacon of light tellin’ them that they CAN do it! You’re their guardian angel! Stop givin’ a shit about some dumb words. You’re only hurting yourself and those that care for ya by takin’ every little thing to heart. Be strong, and own up to when you’re wrong and as you know… when you took what Derek said out of context… you were very wrong.
Jazmyn: I know I was and I want to make it up to him! But I’m scared that he’s not going to want to talk to me.
Tammy: Don’t be, sweetheart!
Tammy gets up off of the bed and walks to the door.
Jazmyn: Wait, you’re leaving?
Tammy unlocks and opens the door, revealing Derek was waiting to come in. Jazmyn’s eyes widen in surprise as she sees him walk into the room with a bag in his hands.
Jazmyn: Derek…
Derek: Hey…
Jazmyn: Derek, I’m so sorry for overreacting and accusing you of things I had no business accusing you of. I was just so overwhelmed with all of the NGW stuff and I was just so devastated by the idea of not being able to wrestle at Battle for London that I let my feelings of devastation control me. I wasn’t thinking right at all and I’m going to own up to my mistakes. There’s no excuse for the way I acted toward you and I’m going to woman up here and say that you deserve better from me than that. I love you! You’re one of the best things that ever happened to me and I don’t want a wedge between us at all!
Derek: Jazmyn, I understand. I forgive you!
Those three words allow Jazmyn to smile through her tears.
Derek: You’re passionate about what you do. Next time when you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, take a deep breath, okay? I’ve always believed in you and that will never stop!
Jazmyn: What about Battle for London? I acted the way I did because I felt like there was no way I was going to wrestle on Saturday.
Derek: I get it. But there IS a way. I personally wouldn’t condone it, but if you sign a waiver absolving NGW of legal responsibility, then you’ll be wrestling at Battle for London. However, that carries a big risk of further injury!
Jazmyn: Whatever I gotta do, Derek!
Derek: By the way, you left something behind the other night.
Derek shows Jazmyn the bag and she slides off the bed to take the bag. She opens it and looks inside, her eyes instantly lighting up with joy!
Jazmyn: My shoes!!!
She wastes no time taking them out of the bag and putting them on her feet. Derek then pulls her into a passionate hug and Jazmyn returns the affection by planting a passionate kiss on the lips.
Derek: You’re winning on Saturday! Somehow, someway… you’re going to! I love you!
Jazmyn: I love you too!
They break their embrace for a second as Jazmyn turns toward Tammy.
Tammy: I believe in ya too, darlin’. We all do… the whole family’s goin’ to London to watch ya make it happen!
Jazmyn: REALLY? Even my dad?
Tammy: Yep!
Jazmyn: Oh gosh!!! Thank you for being there and teaching me a very valuable lesson today!
Jazmyn walks up to Tammy and the two give each other a warm embrace.
Tammy: I love you!!!
Jazmyn: Coming from you, those words mean the world to me.
They let each other go and look into each other’s eyes.
Jazmyn: I love you too… Mom!!!
Jazmyn feels a heartwarming sensation, being able to call Tammy “mom” for the first time as the two embrace again for a few seconds.
Derek: I’m happy for you, Jazmyn. Talk later?
Jazmyn turns toward Derek and nods.
Derek: Great. I’ll leave you two alone.
Derek leaves the room, slowly closing the door behind him.
Tammy: I also came here for another reason besides settlin’ this.
Jazmyn: What’s that?
Tammy: To spend some quality time with my daughter!
Jazmyn smiles, obviously being happy to hear those words.
Jazmyn: I’d love that!
Jazmyn and Tammy both head toward the door, with Jazmyn grabbing her overcoat from the counter and putting it on as they exit the room to spend a quality night together.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn: I admit, wholeheartedly, that the biggest flaw that I’ve shown since coming to New Generation Wrestling is that I take the words of others to heart too much and I admit that so much of Jack Tillman’s and Chris Constantine’s words, tweets and actions toward me have gotten to me far too much, more than anyone else in NGW!
Well, thanks to some help from people that care for me so much, I’ve just taken a huge step in overcoming some near-lifelong insecurities that have made me so fragile. Well… guess what? I’m becoming a stronger brick wall from here on out… and anything negative that Tillman has to say? I’ll sum up how I feel about them now in six simple words:
I don’t give a shit anymore!
Somehow, someway, I’ll overcome this obstacle!
And on Easter Sunday?
I become the NGW Five Lakes Champion!!!!
Date: March 30, 2018
A day before GCW’s latest edition of Livewire in Cincinnati and two days before NGW Legacy: Battle for London, Jazmyn Rain is in her hotel room. The good news for the number one contender to the NGW Five Lakes Championship is that her left arm is now sling free. However, she’s looking around the room, frantically looking for something. On this night, she’s wearing a black pinstripe skirt with a red, short sleeved top. A black coat rests on the counter as the Charlotte native is looking everywhere for something.
Jazmyn: Ugh! Where are my shoes???
It’s apparent that she’s searching for her red colored high heels that she had accidentally left behind in her argument with Derek from earlier in the week. After looking in the bathroom and the closet of her hotel room, Jazmyn takes a deep sigh and sits down on a chair obviously worried about their whereabouts.
Jazmyn: I know they weren’t stolen! How the hell did I lose them? Where are they? UGH!
Jazmyn is doing her best to stay calm as she takes a deep breath and thinks about where she may have left them but this small reprieve from her everyday stressing is interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. Her shoulders slump and she lets out a sigh as she’s clearly not in the brightest of moods to deal with company at the moment. Still, she reluctantly stands up and walks to the door.
Jazmyn: Maybe it’s room service…
Jazmyn unlocks and opens the front door, but it’s not room service. It’s not Derek, or even Camryn, her agent. Her eyes widen in surprise at the sudden sight of her stepmother.
Jazmyn: Tammy? What… what are you doing here? Is my dad with you?
Tammy: No hon, he’s back home. But, he did want me to check up on you.
Jazmyn: I’m… I’m fine. Thanks though.
Tammy: You don’t look fine. You look stressed! May I come in so we can have a chat?
Jazmyn: Um...well… uh… I kinda can’t right now.
Tammy: What’s wrong?
Jazmyn: I can’t find my shoes!
Tammy: Worry about that later, this is important. If your father is sending me here to check up on you, then wouldn’t you think he’s concerned about you right now?
Jazmyn: What could he be concerned about?
Tammy: Well hon, ya gotta let me in first so we can talk about it!
Jazmyn sighs.
Jazmyn: Alright…
Jazmyn reluctantly opens the door wider to allow her stepmother into the room. She wastes no time closing and locking the door before she walks to the bed, sitting on her knees and completely concealing her feet as Tammy sits down next to her.
Tammy: Are you sure you’re alright?
Jazmyn: Yeah…
Tammy: So what happened with Derek earlier this week?
Jazmyn’s eyes widen in shock as she clearly wasn’t expecting her stepmother to know about the big argument that she had with Derek five days prior.
Tammy: He called your father and then your father told me about it.
Jazmyn has a look of sadness and remorse on her face.
Jazmyn: I overreacted, that’s what happened. I was trying to get him to clear me for Battle for London and he didn’t want to… which I understand. Conflict of interest. So, I asked him to tell me if any doctor would clear me and he told me that it wasn’t happening. I took it as him not believing in me and… yeah… I… I’m… I’m so sorry! I’m such a screw up!
Tammy: Don’t say that, sweetheart. You made a mistake.
Jazmyn: Not just ANY mistake… a mistake that’s going to cost me the best relationship I’ve ever had!
Tammy: Darlin’, if Derek was going to break up with you, do ya think he would have called your father for any kind of help?
A tear strolls down Jazmyn’s face before she wipes it away. Tammy places a hand on her left shoulder in a gentle fashion knowing to be as sensitive as possible in consideration for Jazmyn’s recent injury.
Jazmyn: That’s a great point. But… that’s the thing. I know I messed up and I thought this whole time he was mad at me. It just… all came over me… you wouldn’t understand…
Tammy: Why wouldn’t I understand?
Jazmyn: My own mother never bothered to understand, how could any woman be able to?
Tammy: I’m not Catarina, you know that. Ya gotta let go of this habit ya got of assumin’ the worst of everything! I know that you’re takin’ things to heart too much in your career. You take any combination of words and ya take it like if it’s a personal insult! Hon, you’re 33 and you’re the strongest you’ve ever been in your life. Shouldn’t you be past behavin’ like this when ya get stressed out?
Jazmyn: I don’t understand why you would care so much about me…
Tammy: I care so much because even though it ain’t by birth, you’re my daughter and I love you like any mother would!
Hearing those words is a culture shock to Jazmyn who sheds more tears.
Jazmyn: You… you mean that?
Tammy: I’ve always felt that way about you.
Jazmyn: Why couldn’t you be the woman that gave birth to me?
Jazmyn cries some more as her stepmother scoots in and wraps an arm around her, pulling her into a hug.
Tammy: That doesn’t matter! I’m here for you, aren’t I?
Tammy lets her go, enabling Jazmyn to wipe away more tears and nod.
Jazmyn: You’re right… and you’re also right about the way I can be. I hate that I’m so sensitive sometimes. Like… I get triggered so easily by things my peers say about me because it’s like I’m hearing my birth mother say those things to me. I can’t live like this anymore. I have to learn how to separate my enemies in my career from the crap I heard growing up. But I don’t know how! I WANT to be stronger Tammy, but… I can’t find the answers…
Tammy: You’re already stronger! Remember where ya were two years ago? You’re the strongest you’ve ever been and only gettin’ stronger. You know what ya need to do, hon?
Jazmyn: What’s that?
Tammy: Stop givin’ a shit!
Jazmyn: What? But…
Tammy: They’re just words, Jazmyn. “Just there”, “bit player”... need I go on about how silly you’ve made yourself look at times by overreactin’ to those words? I’m not saying you’re silly but… it needs to stop because your father and I know you’re better than that. You may not realize this hon’, but doin’ what you do… bein’ a wrestler and all, doin’ this for people just like you and everything… you’re a role model to so many people out there. You understand what I’m sayin’ right?
Jazmyn: I do… but it almost sounds like the expectation of me is to be perfect.
Tammy: You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be you! You’re only scratchin’ the surface of it, but you gotta lot of small town girls lookin’ up to you because you’re doin’ things in this world that they’ve been told that they were incapable of and you’re that beacon of light tellin’ them that they CAN do it! You’re their guardian angel! Stop givin’ a shit about some dumb words. You’re only hurting yourself and those that care for ya by takin’ every little thing to heart. Be strong, and own up to when you’re wrong and as you know… when you took what Derek said out of context… you were very wrong.
Jazmyn: I know I was and I want to make it up to him! But I’m scared that he’s not going to want to talk to me.
Tammy: Don’t be, sweetheart!
Tammy gets up off of the bed and walks to the door.
Jazmyn: Wait, you’re leaving?
Tammy unlocks and opens the door, revealing Derek was waiting to come in. Jazmyn’s eyes widen in surprise as she sees him walk into the room with a bag in his hands.
Jazmyn: Derek…
Derek: Hey…
Jazmyn: Derek, I’m so sorry for overreacting and accusing you of things I had no business accusing you of. I was just so overwhelmed with all of the NGW stuff and I was just so devastated by the idea of not being able to wrestle at Battle for London that I let my feelings of devastation control me. I wasn’t thinking right at all and I’m going to own up to my mistakes. There’s no excuse for the way I acted toward you and I’m going to woman up here and say that you deserve better from me than that. I love you! You’re one of the best things that ever happened to me and I don’t want a wedge between us at all!
Derek: Jazmyn, I understand. I forgive you!
Those three words allow Jazmyn to smile through her tears.
Derek: You’re passionate about what you do. Next time when you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, take a deep breath, okay? I’ve always believed in you and that will never stop!
Jazmyn: What about Battle for London? I acted the way I did because I felt like there was no way I was going to wrestle on Saturday.
Derek: I get it. But there IS a way. I personally wouldn’t condone it, but if you sign a waiver absolving NGW of legal responsibility, then you’ll be wrestling at Battle for London. However, that carries a big risk of further injury!
Jazmyn: Whatever I gotta do, Derek!
Derek: By the way, you left something behind the other night.
Derek shows Jazmyn the bag and she slides off the bed to take the bag. She opens it and looks inside, her eyes instantly lighting up with joy!
Jazmyn: My shoes!!!
She wastes no time taking them out of the bag and putting them on her feet. Derek then pulls her into a passionate hug and Jazmyn returns the affection by planting a passionate kiss on the lips.
Derek: You’re winning on Saturday! Somehow, someway… you’re going to! I love you!
Jazmyn: I love you too!
They break their embrace for a second as Jazmyn turns toward Tammy.
Tammy: I believe in ya too, darlin’. We all do… the whole family’s goin’ to London to watch ya make it happen!
Jazmyn: REALLY? Even my dad?
Tammy: Yep!
Jazmyn: Oh gosh!!! Thank you for being there and teaching me a very valuable lesson today!
Jazmyn walks up to Tammy and the two give each other a warm embrace.
Tammy: I love you!!!
Jazmyn: Coming from you, those words mean the world to me.
They let each other go and look into each other’s eyes.
Jazmyn: I love you too… Mom!!!
Jazmyn feels a heartwarming sensation, being able to call Tammy “mom” for the first time as the two embrace again for a few seconds.
Derek: I’m happy for you, Jazmyn. Talk later?
Jazmyn turns toward Derek and nods.
Derek: Great. I’ll leave you two alone.
Derek leaves the room, slowly closing the door behind him.
Tammy: I also came here for another reason besides settlin’ this.
Jazmyn: What’s that?
Tammy: To spend some quality time with my daughter!
Jazmyn smiles, obviously being happy to hear those words.
Jazmyn: I’d love that!
Jazmyn and Tammy both head toward the door, with Jazmyn grabbing her overcoat from the counter and putting it on as they exit the room to spend a quality night together.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn: I admit, wholeheartedly, that the biggest flaw that I’ve shown since coming to New Generation Wrestling is that I take the words of others to heart too much and I admit that so much of Jack Tillman’s and Chris Constantine’s words, tweets and actions toward me have gotten to me far too much, more than anyone else in NGW!
Well, thanks to some help from people that care for me so much, I’ve just taken a huge step in overcoming some near-lifelong insecurities that have made me so fragile. Well… guess what? I’m becoming a stronger brick wall from here on out… and anything negative that Tillman has to say? I’ll sum up how I feel about them now in six simple words:
I don’t give a shit anymore!
Somehow, someway, I’ll overcome this obstacle!
And on Easter Sunday?
I become the NGW Five Lakes Champion!!!!
