Martin Karloff- Four Word Question

An excerpt from the online journal of Martin Ludwig Karloff
March 31st, 2018

A good part of me is wondering if it’s such a good idea to open myself up like this. This declaration I have to make is important. It is my key into the door and once I am inside I have free reign of her mind.

But the plan has always been to reveal as little of myself as I can. To humanize myself too much is to reveal weakness. A crack in the armor. A chip in the paint.

Sometimes I close my eyes and I’m back in that police station. Not crying because I had been conditioned that way. By him. He slapped that out of me.

In so many ways he made me the man I am today. Untrusting. Unwilling to offer too much of myself. Uncomfortable in social settings. I fought all of that. To be a good Husband. To be a good father. Out of love for my family. Out of spite to him.

Until Daniel came into my life, ‘Father’ was a swear word. A word to be spat more than spoke.

It’s almost a relief when I close my eyes and it’s just the police station. Other times it is the day he made me watch.

Why was it so important to make me watch?

He wanted me to be like him. He took something from me that day but he also tried to put something in. He made me watch because he wanted to break something in me. I think a part of him wanted to make me like he was.

I sat in the police station and everyone was a little unsettled at how quiet I was. I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry because even though he was gone I still felt like he was going to hit me if I cry.

People can question my mental health all they want. Given what has happened to me in my life I am proud of the man I became in the face of everything I have been through. But can I really go through with doing this to Daisy? Putting her through this even after what I have been through?

Of course I can.

As my wife sleeps in the next room. As I pass by the bedroom of my beautiful children and watch them sleep, I know one thing above all. I know that I am not a monster…

…but I play one on tv.

-MK

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We open on Martin sitting in the office of his and Xaria’s home in France which has become a familiar sight on this European tour. He is in a nice black polo shirt and khakis. He is seated in front of a large wall-hung flatscreen monitor and is holding what seems to be a very small remote.

“You’re right Daisy. Because I am a bigger and better individual than you are we will play this straight. No paint. No absurd theatrics… No huge grandiose claims at all. All I have for you is a question, Daisy. That’s it. Just a question. Just me, a camera, a monitor….and a four page Powerpoint presentation. I suppose before we get to that though and eventually move over to you delightfully adding the word ‘bitch’ to my name like an edgy 14-year old I will have to ask… did you really think that bit with Ronnie was what I had in store for you? That it was some sort of ‘grand scheme’? No no no… see that was just me having a bit of a laugh. You have to admit it was kind of funny. Now Martin has his memories back and there is no harm done save for that short week after he learned where he moped alone in his room, heartbroken by YOU because the entire encounter helped him to realize that he is an unlovable ball of scum and hair. That lesson stuck with him at least. So congratulations in helping a man realize his place in the world as a pitiable joke. I enjoy the company of Joshua, I just wish he kept better company in general. Ugh.” Martin says, rolling his eyes.

“Anyway. The powerpoint. Four slides. Four words. One question. I’m going to go one word at a time because I really really want the full weight of the question to sink in and to be certain that you fully understand it. I have faith that you will, though.” Martin says. He presses the button on the remote and one word and four blanks comes up. The word is ‘What’ and is followed by three blank spaces and ending in a question mark.

“Not who, not where, not why, not when, not why, but ‘What’. One of the infamous five W’s often used in basic information gathering. The Five W’s and how are basically day one of journalism school and form the basis of the inquisitive mindset.” Martin says, he really does talk like a teacher. He presses the button on the remote, bringing up the word ‘did’ following ‘what’.

“Did. The past tense of ‘do’. It implies I will be asking about something that happened in the past. Let’s skip a word for the sake of a bit of tension.” Martin says, pressing a button on the remote. The fourth word is revealed to be ‘do’ making the phrase on the screen read ‘What did _____ do?’

“All coming together now but that third word could really be anything couldn’t it? It could be a person, an institution. It could be your husband or a past rival in the ring. Who or what is the third word?” Martin asks. He holds the remote and smirks, allowing the suspense to build.

“Daisy, you are not going to like what will happen when I press this button once more. So before I do so I would just like to inform you that even if I didn’t I was going to beat you for your title and bring it the prestige it deserves because I am better than you and smarter than you and yadda yadda yadda. Sorry, just had to get that out of the way because once the question is fully revealed? I am just going to leave you with it. That will be the end of this video. Have a good day, Daisy.” Martin says before pressing the button once more. He looks up at the question on full display and says it out loud for us once.

“What did daddy do?” Martin says before standing and walking out of the shot. He leaves the question up on the monitor and the camera stays on it for a full silent 30 seconds before we fade to black.