Post by Jazmyn Rain on Mar 18, 2018 21:34:38 GMT -5
“Filtering Out the Negative”
Date: March 18, 2018
CAMERA: OFF
On the morning of Dissension, Jazmyn Rain is standing near the cameras, which at the moment, are presently off. She seems to have a regretful pout on her face as she has a bit of a conversation with one of her best friends and agent, Camryn Rourke. Camryn at the moment is coaching Jazmyn through some promotional advice.
Camryn: I’m not saying that your words about your match tonight were bad. They weren’t. But they came off so angry and so hurt which isn’t what you need to be expressing right now.
Jazmyn: Right.
Camryn: Seriously! You made it all about two stupid words.
Jazmyn: I know… but… I couldn’t help it! You know how it is.
Camryn: I do! You’ve grown a lot as a person, and you definitely have become stronger than you were since when you first started doing this. Great read on your book so far by the way…
Jazmyn: Thanks.
Camryn: Still… there’s no need to be so sensitive over the words “bit player”. I know that you let things get to you easily, even now. But when you talk to the camera right now, I want you to filter that out and just act like Damon Graves never said those words, alright?
Jazmyn nods.
Camryn: Deep breath, draw from your experiences. Don’t apologize, don’t make excuses. Own what you said and move forward.
Jazmyn: I got it.
Jazmyn smiles and adds another nod. Camryn shares a smile right back before she heads off a short distance away. Jazmyn walks to a position a few feet away from the camera, ready to record. She thinks about what Camryn just told her and takes a deep breath before once more, drawing back to her wrestling experiences from day one. The camera turns on right when she begins to think about the words she spoke in her last promo. While she feels guilty about being far too sensitive about the words “bit player”, she’s not showing it as the light of the camera fulfills her heart and soul with the conviction that she’s becoming known quite well for in NGW.
CAMERA: ON
Jazmyn Rain: So, I am going to start this off with a bit of an acknowledgement. I realize that in my previous words about my match with Damon Graves, I let a certain two words piss me off way too much and I’m not going to stand here and make excuses for it and I am also not going to apologize for what I said before. I’m going to own it and I am going to move forward. I have my days and my moments where I wish I wasn’t so sensitive and that I wish I didn’t let stupid little things like those two words bother me so much, but I just can’t help myself at times. What I said in my previous promo was one of those times. I won’t deny that at one point or another, I WAS those two words. It sucks, but that’s the reality of the time. I was those two words when I first started training and the head trainer at my school didn’t give me a chance to even succeed, pre-judging me as a failure before I even got started. There was also when PRW signed me and decided I was “so important” that they stuck me in that stupid evening gown battle royal at a house show for my first match. Then, as has been described in my vignettes on Dissension, there was my time as a tag team champion where I had to sit and watch my tag team partner compete in singles matches while I had to wait for my opportunity.
It’s just something that… okay, I admit it… it bothers me. It does so because I know that at one point in my career, those two words were true. But now, being older and wiser, I know that they’re not true NOW and I need to learn how to consistently filter out the negative so I don’t take every single, darn thing to heart or take every single criticism as a personal affront. I’ve done it before, I know that. You had a certain idiot call me a “flavor of the month”, but did I listen to that? I didn’t. I hardly gave those words the time of day. And what happened? Did I not beat the very same person that said those words? No. But then on the flip side, I let the words “least important Guardian” get to me for what seemed like an eternity before I managed to forget them just before my match against Shields and what do you know, I beat him two weeks ago, did I not? It’s just something about myself that I admittedly am not the biggest fan of, but it’s still part of who I am. Plus, there’s also the factor of going into a tasking part of my career… with challenging Jack Tillman for the Five Lakes Championship again in two weeks and over in Global Championship Wrestling, having a rematch for my recently-lost GCW Global Championship on their equivalent of WrestleForce in late May…
But the bottom line is… going into those matches, and going into this match against Damon Graves… I HAVE to be strong! I CAN’T keep doing this! There’s no way I can win the Five Lakes Championship off of Jack Tillman if I’m acting like every single bit of negativity is the end of the world and I will be the first to admit that ever since I stepped in an NGW ring, that’s largely what I’ve done. Every time someone says something that I find undercutting or diminishing, I take it personally. Every time I feel overlooked, I seem to make an event about it. “Least important guardian”, “just there”, “bit player”, and I can go on and on.
Jazmyn pauses and sighs showing some apparent regret over taking the words and the negativity of others so personally to the point that it bothers her.
Jazmyn Rain: I KNOW I am better than that and I NEED to be better than that and tonight, that’s exactly what I am going to do. I need to remember that over the course of my career, the one thing that I have done just as much as taking things to heart too much is being able to prove people wrong and defy their previously low expectations of me. And if there is ONE THING that I can say for SURe that Damon Graves is overlooking, it’s my career-long propensity to defy the expectations of so many people. When I had my drug-related meltdown that had me locked up in a psychological health facility for six months back in May 2013, you know what they said about me?
“Jazmyn’s career is over” they said.
Oddly, the thing I REALLY should have taken to heart, I didn’t. But then again, I was focused far more on fixing my life than anything related to professional wrestling at the time. Still, when 2014 hit and word broke out that I was going to train for a comeback, it was deemed impossible.
“Nobody’s going to give her a second chance in wrestling”, the expectation was. “She’s about to turn 30 and she doesn’t have much experience as is”.
It took another year, but I ended up in GCW. Yeah, I had people saying that I had been gone too long and it was impossible for me to even be successful to begin with, but again, I didn’t listen to that. I was just happy to be back in professional wrestling. I only began to think about success when I became the number one contender to GCW’s International Championship, a title that yes, I would eventually win. But darn, those doubters came back when I was trying to contend for my first world championship, didn’t they? They said that I couldn’t be a world champion and then I did! They said after I lost it, that there was no way that I would ever bounce back, and not only did I do so, I grew into the Guardian Angel I am today and ultimately, that’s what led me to regaining the Global Championship. It’s gotten to a point that as far as GCW is concerned, I don’t have the doubters that I once did. I guess in a sense, when I came to NGW, I got a little too comfortable with not having to deal with negativity anymore. So… having it come at me like before? Yeah, I admit it was a culture shock for a bit.
Sure, I have yet to win a championship in NGW, but come Battle for London, I WILL do that! And I think even without the Five Lakes championship up to this point, I know deep down that I have surpassed some low expectations some of the roster has had about me. I mean… did anyone on the roster think that I would ever beat Matthew Shields when word of my NGW signing broke out to begin with?
Jazmyn takes a final pause, before finishing off what she needs to say to put the exclamation point on the point that she’s been making since the camera turned on.
Jazmyn Rain: Tonight, Damon is going into our match with some sort of expectation about me and no, I am not talking about those two words. There’s a certain feel and an emotion that he’s expecting me to come to this match with and I am not going to spend an entire promo on this, but what I will say is that I am going to take his expectations of me and I am going to subvert them like I have done so many times in my career. His expectations of me going into this match, whatever they may be, are going to be why he doesn’t walk out of here with a win because while Damon is a talent in his own right, he doesn’t separate himself from the pack as much as he may think he does. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wrestled against “call it like I see it” types like him that think they know it all when all they’re doing is taking the “what you see is what you get” concept a little TOO literal. I also can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught them trapped in their own arrogance when I wind up beating people like that. It’ll be a hell of a match, a tough match, for sure. But I’m done harping on those two stupid words. I had my fill when I let it all out in my last promo. This match isn’t about those two words, this match is about subverting expectations and building one last bit of momentum going into Battle for London. I’m not focused on whatever “tension” there is between Rebel Society and the Guardians. I mean… okay, honestly, there is no tension like Damon put it but… whatever. Anyway, this match isn’t about that. This isn’t about Guardians versus Destroyers. Hell, this isn’t even about the other members of the Rebel Society or the Guardians.
It’s about the two people in that ring!
And Damon can be a Dennis Downer about the Guardians and Mr. Grumpy Gills all he wants, he can focus on the make-believe “tension” between the Guardians and Rebel Society to his heart’s content, but all that’s going to do?
It’s going to cost him tonight!
Jazmyn takes a deep breath, obviously feeling better about her match and putting those two certain words behind her. She walks toward the camera, shutting it off and focusing on the match to come at tonight’s Dissension.
Date: March 18, 2018
CAMERA: OFF
On the morning of Dissension, Jazmyn Rain is standing near the cameras, which at the moment, are presently off. She seems to have a regretful pout on her face as she has a bit of a conversation with one of her best friends and agent, Camryn Rourke. Camryn at the moment is coaching Jazmyn through some promotional advice.
Camryn: I’m not saying that your words about your match tonight were bad. They weren’t. But they came off so angry and so hurt which isn’t what you need to be expressing right now.
Jazmyn: Right.
Camryn: Seriously! You made it all about two stupid words.
Jazmyn: I know… but… I couldn’t help it! You know how it is.
Camryn: I do! You’ve grown a lot as a person, and you definitely have become stronger than you were since when you first started doing this. Great read on your book so far by the way…
Jazmyn: Thanks.
Camryn: Still… there’s no need to be so sensitive over the words “bit player”. I know that you let things get to you easily, even now. But when you talk to the camera right now, I want you to filter that out and just act like Damon Graves never said those words, alright?
Jazmyn nods.
Camryn: Deep breath, draw from your experiences. Don’t apologize, don’t make excuses. Own what you said and move forward.
Jazmyn: I got it.
Jazmyn smiles and adds another nod. Camryn shares a smile right back before she heads off a short distance away. Jazmyn walks to a position a few feet away from the camera, ready to record. She thinks about what Camryn just told her and takes a deep breath before once more, drawing back to her wrestling experiences from day one. The camera turns on right when she begins to think about the words she spoke in her last promo. While she feels guilty about being far too sensitive about the words “bit player”, she’s not showing it as the light of the camera fulfills her heart and soul with the conviction that she’s becoming known quite well for in NGW.
CAMERA: ON
Jazmyn Rain: So, I am going to start this off with a bit of an acknowledgement. I realize that in my previous words about my match with Damon Graves, I let a certain two words piss me off way too much and I’m not going to stand here and make excuses for it and I am also not going to apologize for what I said before. I’m going to own it and I am going to move forward. I have my days and my moments where I wish I wasn’t so sensitive and that I wish I didn’t let stupid little things like those two words bother me so much, but I just can’t help myself at times. What I said in my previous promo was one of those times. I won’t deny that at one point or another, I WAS those two words. It sucks, but that’s the reality of the time. I was those two words when I first started training and the head trainer at my school didn’t give me a chance to even succeed, pre-judging me as a failure before I even got started. There was also when PRW signed me and decided I was “so important” that they stuck me in that stupid evening gown battle royal at a house show for my first match. Then, as has been described in my vignettes on Dissension, there was my time as a tag team champion where I had to sit and watch my tag team partner compete in singles matches while I had to wait for my opportunity.
It’s just something that… okay, I admit it… it bothers me. It does so because I know that at one point in my career, those two words were true. But now, being older and wiser, I know that they’re not true NOW and I need to learn how to consistently filter out the negative so I don’t take every single, darn thing to heart or take every single criticism as a personal affront. I’ve done it before, I know that. You had a certain idiot call me a “flavor of the month”, but did I listen to that? I didn’t. I hardly gave those words the time of day. And what happened? Did I not beat the very same person that said those words? No. But then on the flip side, I let the words “least important Guardian” get to me for what seemed like an eternity before I managed to forget them just before my match against Shields and what do you know, I beat him two weeks ago, did I not? It’s just something about myself that I admittedly am not the biggest fan of, but it’s still part of who I am. Plus, there’s also the factor of going into a tasking part of my career… with challenging Jack Tillman for the Five Lakes Championship again in two weeks and over in Global Championship Wrestling, having a rematch for my recently-lost GCW Global Championship on their equivalent of WrestleForce in late May…
But the bottom line is… going into those matches, and going into this match against Damon Graves… I HAVE to be strong! I CAN’T keep doing this! There’s no way I can win the Five Lakes Championship off of Jack Tillman if I’m acting like every single bit of negativity is the end of the world and I will be the first to admit that ever since I stepped in an NGW ring, that’s largely what I’ve done. Every time someone says something that I find undercutting or diminishing, I take it personally. Every time I feel overlooked, I seem to make an event about it. “Least important guardian”, “just there”, “bit player”, and I can go on and on.
Jazmyn pauses and sighs showing some apparent regret over taking the words and the negativity of others so personally to the point that it bothers her.
Jazmyn Rain: I KNOW I am better than that and I NEED to be better than that and tonight, that’s exactly what I am going to do. I need to remember that over the course of my career, the one thing that I have done just as much as taking things to heart too much is being able to prove people wrong and defy their previously low expectations of me. And if there is ONE THING that I can say for SURe that Damon Graves is overlooking, it’s my career-long propensity to defy the expectations of so many people. When I had my drug-related meltdown that had me locked up in a psychological health facility for six months back in May 2013, you know what they said about me?
“Jazmyn’s career is over” they said.
Oddly, the thing I REALLY should have taken to heart, I didn’t. But then again, I was focused far more on fixing my life than anything related to professional wrestling at the time. Still, when 2014 hit and word broke out that I was going to train for a comeback, it was deemed impossible.
“Nobody’s going to give her a second chance in wrestling”, the expectation was. “She’s about to turn 30 and she doesn’t have much experience as is”.
It took another year, but I ended up in GCW. Yeah, I had people saying that I had been gone too long and it was impossible for me to even be successful to begin with, but again, I didn’t listen to that. I was just happy to be back in professional wrestling. I only began to think about success when I became the number one contender to GCW’s International Championship, a title that yes, I would eventually win. But darn, those doubters came back when I was trying to contend for my first world championship, didn’t they? They said that I couldn’t be a world champion and then I did! They said after I lost it, that there was no way that I would ever bounce back, and not only did I do so, I grew into the Guardian Angel I am today and ultimately, that’s what led me to regaining the Global Championship. It’s gotten to a point that as far as GCW is concerned, I don’t have the doubters that I once did. I guess in a sense, when I came to NGW, I got a little too comfortable with not having to deal with negativity anymore. So… having it come at me like before? Yeah, I admit it was a culture shock for a bit.
Sure, I have yet to win a championship in NGW, but come Battle for London, I WILL do that! And I think even without the Five Lakes championship up to this point, I know deep down that I have surpassed some low expectations some of the roster has had about me. I mean… did anyone on the roster think that I would ever beat Matthew Shields when word of my NGW signing broke out to begin with?
Jazmyn takes a final pause, before finishing off what she needs to say to put the exclamation point on the point that she’s been making since the camera turned on.
Jazmyn Rain: Tonight, Damon is going into our match with some sort of expectation about me and no, I am not talking about those two words. There’s a certain feel and an emotion that he’s expecting me to come to this match with and I am not going to spend an entire promo on this, but what I will say is that I am going to take his expectations of me and I am going to subvert them like I have done so many times in my career. His expectations of me going into this match, whatever they may be, are going to be why he doesn’t walk out of here with a win because while Damon is a talent in his own right, he doesn’t separate himself from the pack as much as he may think he does. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wrestled against “call it like I see it” types like him that think they know it all when all they’re doing is taking the “what you see is what you get” concept a little TOO literal. I also can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught them trapped in their own arrogance when I wind up beating people like that. It’ll be a hell of a match, a tough match, for sure. But I’m done harping on those two stupid words. I had my fill when I let it all out in my last promo. This match isn’t about those two words, this match is about subverting expectations and building one last bit of momentum going into Battle for London. I’m not focused on whatever “tension” there is between Rebel Society and the Guardians. I mean… okay, honestly, there is no tension like Damon put it but… whatever. Anyway, this match isn’t about that. This isn’t about Guardians versus Destroyers. Hell, this isn’t even about the other members of the Rebel Society or the Guardians.
It’s about the two people in that ring!
And Damon can be a Dennis Downer about the Guardians and Mr. Grumpy Gills all he wants, he can focus on the make-believe “tension” between the Guardians and Rebel Society to his heart’s content, but all that’s going to do?
It’s going to cost him tonight!
Jazmyn takes a deep breath, obviously feeling better about her match and putting those two certain words behind her. She walks toward the camera, shutting it off and focusing on the match to come at tonight’s Dissension.
