Post by Julianna DiMaria on Mar 9, 2018 12:17:17 GMT -5
“Identity”
Date: March 9, 2018
Julianna DiMaria sits alone on a hotel room balcony under some cloudy weather in Santa, Rosa California with so much on her mind. There’s no aggressive tension with her at all. In fact, the aura that can be described from her is that of calmness and maturity, rather than that of what she was known as during her WCG West Coast Championship reign. She has her hands on her lap as she tries to remain as calm as possible. Taking a deep breath and sorting through her thoughts, the young, San Diego native begins to express her thoughts.
Julianna DiMaria: Okay so… I am going to start off with a few confessions here and some are going to be a surprise. First confession? Professional wrestling isn’t something that I grew up wanting to do. This was all something that my parents wanted me to do growing up. What did I want to be when I grew up? Honestly, before I could even think about it, my parents had it in their minds that I was going to follow in their footsteps and become a professional wrestler. So, as a result… that leads to my second confession: I don’t like professional wrestling. Or… well.. I don’t think I do. I don’t know. I just recently had an epiphany and it has me wondering whether I really like it, or really hate it. I’m going through this weird thing where I am actually taking the time to discover myself a little more instead of basking in the shallowness of the title reign I just had. But this match that I am going to fight tomorrow night is going to give me all the answers. I can only guarantee one more match, not just in WCG, but period.
Okay, that’s a shocking one right?
Confession three: this might be my last match in professional wrestling period, regardless of the outcome and I say that because I need to know if I like this business that I was essentially shoehorned into by my own parents. This will really be the first match that I am going to be wrestling where I know for sure that my parents aren’t going to have their thumbs over, so this is going to be a totally different vibe for me, But, I’m not going to worry about that. I have to worry about this match and I have to figure out a way to win because this match is deeply personal for me, even more than I have let on to be quite honest. So, my fourth and final confession?
I hate Melina Garrison.
And that’s not going to change!
Julianna pauses to clench her fists with anger and she takes a deep breath as she briefly reflects on her entire journey in West Coast Genesis. She even has a look of anger in her eyes as she begins to address her opponent for tomorrow night’s promotion match.
Julianna DiMaria: There have been some people on this roster over the year that has been around that have caused me much annoyance, aggravation, anger, and so on and so forth. Whether it’s Ryan Keys and his immature bullshit, whether it’s Mercedes Carter, whether it’s the Messiahs and having to deal with them over and over and over again, whether it’s Donovan Basch and everything that happened on the last Hype, it’s fair to say that my experiences in WCG have been part of the reason why I don’t necessarily like this business very much, and that’s even WITH the championship reign that I had for the six months that I had the West Coast Championship. HOWEVER, NOBODY on this roster has caused me more annoyance, more aggravation, more anger, more heartache, more misery and more depression… than YOU HAVE Melina…
Does hearing that make you HAPPY? Does that tingle your senses knowing that now? I never liked you. I don’t think I ever WILL like you. Every fucking time you reminded me that you beat me, I wanted to do either one of two things: break a window, or just fucking cry. I always did the latter. I think I’ll even go as far as saying that you’ve been a worse burden on my shoulders and a bigger stain on my wrestling career than Karari Makelah and even YOU know how much that loss to her consumed me before I finally avenged it in my second defense as the West Coast champion. Now, I’m not going to sit here and say that this is all your fault… though a portion of it is… because I know so much of that fault is my own. I know that I invited much of the scorn that I did. But you don’t think that maybe, just maybe, you may have been, unwittingly albeit, a partial enabler of my behavior? I mean, think about it, Melina! You weren’t above running up the score on me, reminding me of your wins over me, were you? No, you were a total bitch about it from the moment that it happened! And then you turn around and try to help me here and there?
Like I was going to easily forget all the pain and humiliation that you put me through in the past by running up the score, right?
Fuck that! And you know what, fuck you too!
I don’t even know who the hell you REALLY are considering how two-faced you’ve been about our entire feud. You don’t think that maybe if you didn’t run up the score, I wouldn’t have reacted to things the way I have? You don’t think that maybe if you were a good sport and not this massive, egotistical see you next Tuesday about it, that it would have actually HELPED ME? Now… it’s true that there are other factors at play that caused the attitude that I did. I’ll take my own responsibility. That title DID get to my head because for a time, I felt like that’s all I had in this world especially considering all of the pressure that my parents were putting on me and that I felt I had to live up to. You wouldn’t know that because that’s a feeling you could never have again. You wouldn’t know what it feels like to go through every iota that I’ve been through over the last year. Well… I’ll say this much, Melina…
Every iota of humiliation, pain, embarrassment, heartache, sadness and so on and so forth that you ever put me through… and trust me, there is a LOT more than you realize that YOU had me go through when you were running up the score… it’s ALL going to come back to bite you in the ass because if there’s ANYTHING in this universe that’s a bigger bitch than me, it’s karma. I see you claim that you’re going to be fine regardless of the outcome. You think you have it so good because you’re either getting a West Coast title shot in WCG or a Young Lions title shot in NGW. I see you being so overconfident, so arrogant… thinking that you have this match in the bag against me not just because of our past and how horrible that’s gone for me, but also because of what I’ve put myself through recently. It’s like… you REALLY think you CAN’T and that you WON’T lose this match.
Julianna pauses to have a chuckle to herself, then she can’t help but smile as she comes to a realization that she’s about to express.
Julianna DiMaria: And you know what? That’s FAMILIAR because that WAS me! YOU, Melina… ARE me… okay, NOT in the literal sense obviously… but you’re going into this match with an aura of invincibility about this whole thing. You think you’re walking into that ring tomorrow and that you’re facing the same old Julianna who is only concerned about championships and glory and power but NO, that’s not the case! This isn’t about any of that nonsense, Melina. This isn’t about the West Coast Championship. This isn’t about glory or trying to get “my world” back. And hell, this isn’t even about me getting the monkey off my back with YOUR name on it. No Melina… what this is really about, for me anyway… is my identity and what I can be as a human being. I can’t say that this is one hundred percent about the promotion to NGW since I’m not even sure I’m going to be in this business after tomorrow, but believe me when I say that it’s on the back of my mind somewhere. IF I choose to stay in this business, this is also about what I am truly capable of as a wrestler. This is about finding out who and what I really am, Melina.
What?
Is it shocking that I of all people, am fighting for something so deep and meaningful?
It’s called an epiphany, Melina, and I’ve recently had one.
I know that the way I’ve been acting has been embarrassing and disrespectful among other things and I am not making any excuses for my behavior but I acted the way that I did largely to lash out at my parents. I took out my anger toward my parents on so many people in this company and I understand all the consequences that it has brought me. I DESERVED them! But guess what? That anger that I’ve long had toward my parents? It’s GONE! I had it because I felt that they didn’t love me at all, but I recently realized that I did and it’s that LOVE that is going to push me toward a victory. Love… of ALL things… no, I’m not talking about love as in my relationship with Jimmy, I’m talking about the love of and from my parents, whatever love I may have for what I do in this business after all and heck, even the love I have for myself which… well… for so long, I didn’t have that but NOW I DO!
I love myself enough to never have to act the way I was acting during my West Coast Championship reign, for starters because in hindsight… I realize that I was horrible and I did nothing but embarrass myself. I’m not taking this for granted anymore. You’re not getting the same old Julianna from before. You’re facing a Julianna DiMaria with a true purpose now! All I can think about is our match tomorrow and how I’m going to learn about my true identity in this life and potentially in this business. I’m thinking about how one way or another, I win: whether it’s winning this match and moving up to NGW, or realizing what I’m meant to be as a person win or lose if I choose not to stay in this business.
I’ve got nothing to lose but this match, Melina.
Before, I thought that I had nothing left. Now? I realize I have so much more than what was initially at the surface and you can’t take ANY of that away from me.
So with nothing to lose and so much to gain, what’s going to stop me from beating you?
Even if you beat me again and you go on to brag about it like I KNOW you will, I still win because I’m the bigger person in the end. I’m not going to feed into your shit like I was before.
Still… don’t take my epiphany for a weakness. I still hate your fucking guts and I would love nothing more in the world right now then to finally shut you the fuck up for good! I would love it if for once, I made you MY bitch!
And tomorrow night, that’s what will happen! Before, I was so caught up in that and it cost me.
But with so much more important things on the table for me than that… you’re not beating me tomorrow!
When this is all over, I’ll not only be the bigger person in the ring between the bells, but also outside of it. I PROMISE that should I win, I will NOT run up the score. If I lose, I’ll publicly congratulate you. Dead serious. But that’s not happening, Melina…
Because tomorrow?
That kryptonite is getting shoved right down your throat!
Julianna takes a deep breath as she stands up to shut off the camera, her mind focused on nothing but the huge main event match to take place tomorrow night at Hype.
Date: March 9, 2018
Julianna DiMaria sits alone on a hotel room balcony under some cloudy weather in Santa, Rosa California with so much on her mind. There’s no aggressive tension with her at all. In fact, the aura that can be described from her is that of calmness and maturity, rather than that of what she was known as during her WCG West Coast Championship reign. She has her hands on her lap as she tries to remain as calm as possible. Taking a deep breath and sorting through her thoughts, the young, San Diego native begins to express her thoughts.
Julianna DiMaria: Okay so… I am going to start off with a few confessions here and some are going to be a surprise. First confession? Professional wrestling isn’t something that I grew up wanting to do. This was all something that my parents wanted me to do growing up. What did I want to be when I grew up? Honestly, before I could even think about it, my parents had it in their minds that I was going to follow in their footsteps and become a professional wrestler. So, as a result… that leads to my second confession: I don’t like professional wrestling. Or… well.. I don’t think I do. I don’t know. I just recently had an epiphany and it has me wondering whether I really like it, or really hate it. I’m going through this weird thing where I am actually taking the time to discover myself a little more instead of basking in the shallowness of the title reign I just had. But this match that I am going to fight tomorrow night is going to give me all the answers. I can only guarantee one more match, not just in WCG, but period.
Okay, that’s a shocking one right?
Confession three: this might be my last match in professional wrestling period, regardless of the outcome and I say that because I need to know if I like this business that I was essentially shoehorned into by my own parents. This will really be the first match that I am going to be wrestling where I know for sure that my parents aren’t going to have their thumbs over, so this is going to be a totally different vibe for me, But, I’m not going to worry about that. I have to worry about this match and I have to figure out a way to win because this match is deeply personal for me, even more than I have let on to be quite honest. So, my fourth and final confession?
I hate Melina Garrison.
And that’s not going to change!
Julianna pauses to clench her fists with anger and she takes a deep breath as she briefly reflects on her entire journey in West Coast Genesis. She even has a look of anger in her eyes as she begins to address her opponent for tomorrow night’s promotion match.
Julianna DiMaria: There have been some people on this roster over the year that has been around that have caused me much annoyance, aggravation, anger, and so on and so forth. Whether it’s Ryan Keys and his immature bullshit, whether it’s Mercedes Carter, whether it’s the Messiahs and having to deal with them over and over and over again, whether it’s Donovan Basch and everything that happened on the last Hype, it’s fair to say that my experiences in WCG have been part of the reason why I don’t necessarily like this business very much, and that’s even WITH the championship reign that I had for the six months that I had the West Coast Championship. HOWEVER, NOBODY on this roster has caused me more annoyance, more aggravation, more anger, more heartache, more misery and more depression… than YOU HAVE Melina…
Does hearing that make you HAPPY? Does that tingle your senses knowing that now? I never liked you. I don’t think I ever WILL like you. Every fucking time you reminded me that you beat me, I wanted to do either one of two things: break a window, or just fucking cry. I always did the latter. I think I’ll even go as far as saying that you’ve been a worse burden on my shoulders and a bigger stain on my wrestling career than Karari Makelah and even YOU know how much that loss to her consumed me before I finally avenged it in my second defense as the West Coast champion. Now, I’m not going to sit here and say that this is all your fault… though a portion of it is… because I know so much of that fault is my own. I know that I invited much of the scorn that I did. But you don’t think that maybe, just maybe, you may have been, unwittingly albeit, a partial enabler of my behavior? I mean, think about it, Melina! You weren’t above running up the score on me, reminding me of your wins over me, were you? No, you were a total bitch about it from the moment that it happened! And then you turn around and try to help me here and there?
Like I was going to easily forget all the pain and humiliation that you put me through in the past by running up the score, right?
Fuck that! And you know what, fuck you too!
I don’t even know who the hell you REALLY are considering how two-faced you’ve been about our entire feud. You don’t think that maybe if you didn’t run up the score, I wouldn’t have reacted to things the way I have? You don’t think that maybe if you were a good sport and not this massive, egotistical see you next Tuesday about it, that it would have actually HELPED ME? Now… it’s true that there are other factors at play that caused the attitude that I did. I’ll take my own responsibility. That title DID get to my head because for a time, I felt like that’s all I had in this world especially considering all of the pressure that my parents were putting on me and that I felt I had to live up to. You wouldn’t know that because that’s a feeling you could never have again. You wouldn’t know what it feels like to go through every iota that I’ve been through over the last year. Well… I’ll say this much, Melina…
Every iota of humiliation, pain, embarrassment, heartache, sadness and so on and so forth that you ever put me through… and trust me, there is a LOT more than you realize that YOU had me go through when you were running up the score… it’s ALL going to come back to bite you in the ass because if there’s ANYTHING in this universe that’s a bigger bitch than me, it’s karma. I see you claim that you’re going to be fine regardless of the outcome. You think you have it so good because you’re either getting a West Coast title shot in WCG or a Young Lions title shot in NGW. I see you being so overconfident, so arrogant… thinking that you have this match in the bag against me not just because of our past and how horrible that’s gone for me, but also because of what I’ve put myself through recently. It’s like… you REALLY think you CAN’T and that you WON’T lose this match.
Julianna pauses to have a chuckle to herself, then she can’t help but smile as she comes to a realization that she’s about to express.
Julianna DiMaria: And you know what? That’s FAMILIAR because that WAS me! YOU, Melina… ARE me… okay, NOT in the literal sense obviously… but you’re going into this match with an aura of invincibility about this whole thing. You think you’re walking into that ring tomorrow and that you’re facing the same old Julianna who is only concerned about championships and glory and power but NO, that’s not the case! This isn’t about any of that nonsense, Melina. This isn’t about the West Coast Championship. This isn’t about glory or trying to get “my world” back. And hell, this isn’t even about me getting the monkey off my back with YOUR name on it. No Melina… what this is really about, for me anyway… is my identity and what I can be as a human being. I can’t say that this is one hundred percent about the promotion to NGW since I’m not even sure I’m going to be in this business after tomorrow, but believe me when I say that it’s on the back of my mind somewhere. IF I choose to stay in this business, this is also about what I am truly capable of as a wrestler. This is about finding out who and what I really am, Melina.
What?
Is it shocking that I of all people, am fighting for something so deep and meaningful?
It’s called an epiphany, Melina, and I’ve recently had one.
I know that the way I’ve been acting has been embarrassing and disrespectful among other things and I am not making any excuses for my behavior but I acted the way that I did largely to lash out at my parents. I took out my anger toward my parents on so many people in this company and I understand all the consequences that it has brought me. I DESERVED them! But guess what? That anger that I’ve long had toward my parents? It’s GONE! I had it because I felt that they didn’t love me at all, but I recently realized that I did and it’s that LOVE that is going to push me toward a victory. Love… of ALL things… no, I’m not talking about love as in my relationship with Jimmy, I’m talking about the love of and from my parents, whatever love I may have for what I do in this business after all and heck, even the love I have for myself which… well… for so long, I didn’t have that but NOW I DO!
I love myself enough to never have to act the way I was acting during my West Coast Championship reign, for starters because in hindsight… I realize that I was horrible and I did nothing but embarrass myself. I’m not taking this for granted anymore. You’re not getting the same old Julianna from before. You’re facing a Julianna DiMaria with a true purpose now! All I can think about is our match tomorrow and how I’m going to learn about my true identity in this life and potentially in this business. I’m thinking about how one way or another, I win: whether it’s winning this match and moving up to NGW, or realizing what I’m meant to be as a person win or lose if I choose not to stay in this business.
I’ve got nothing to lose but this match, Melina.
Before, I thought that I had nothing left. Now? I realize I have so much more than what was initially at the surface and you can’t take ANY of that away from me.
So with nothing to lose and so much to gain, what’s going to stop me from beating you?
Even if you beat me again and you go on to brag about it like I KNOW you will, I still win because I’m the bigger person in the end. I’m not going to feed into your shit like I was before.
Still… don’t take my epiphany for a weakness. I still hate your fucking guts and I would love nothing more in the world right now then to finally shut you the fuck up for good! I would love it if for once, I made you MY bitch!
And tomorrow night, that’s what will happen! Before, I was so caught up in that and it cost me.
But with so much more important things on the table for me than that… you’re not beating me tomorrow!
When this is all over, I’ll not only be the bigger person in the ring between the bells, but also outside of it. I PROMISE that should I win, I will NOT run up the score. If I lose, I’ll publicly congratulate you. Dead serious. But that’s not happening, Melina…
Because tomorrow?
That kryptonite is getting shoved right down your throat!
Julianna takes a deep breath as she stands up to shut off the camera, her mind focused on nothing but the huge main event match to take place tomorrow night at Hype.