Post by Tasmin Richards on Mar 8, 2018 3:34:18 GMT -5
This distance
This disillusion
I cling to memories
While falling
Sleep brings release
And the hope of a new day
Waking the misery
Of being without you
The roar of the crowd was ongoing, load and excited. Almost a celebratory mood. But alone, backstage, in the small lockeroom there was a more sombre mood. Tasmin’s hands shook as she stared at the floor, the sweat from her brow dripping and pooling underneath on the tiles. Her whole body ached, her mind screamed for sleep or some form of relaxation. Every movement was laboured, every breath a pain.
The match replayed back and forth in her mind, every single move, every mistake, every time Tasmin was overzealous and put a foot wrong or took a hard shot. All of it from the opening bell to the moment it all ended. The three count went slow, each time the hand hit the mat and Tasmin remembered wanting to kick out. With all her heart, her body twitching with each hit of the mat, her eyes closed. The final count to three and her heart sank.
It was over. The first real opportunity to be like the rest of her family, and it was gone. Tasmin had failed. She did her best and that simply wasn’t good enough. As amazing as wins felt, the losses burned and hurt. Her heart felt as if it was about to blow up out of her chest. Her eyes slowly opened and her hands drifted down to her bag lifting it up and over her shoulder. She made her way out of the room stopping just outside the doorway listening to the crowd again with a small chuckle.
----------------------------------------------------
“Here we go again?. One step forward two steps back. As it always seems to be with me. I get that there are ups and downs in all this, but lately for me personally, with the exception of my win to get the title shot it’s been down down and down. Of course it seems to be that way for my family. Jason as hard as he tries, as talented as he is hasn’t set the world on fire….”
Tasmin sits on the end of her bed, her legs pulled up to her chest with a small white bear on her lap as she looks down at it with a sigh.
“My brother lost his match and is now out of the global cup. Outside NGW Jaxon was a killer, an almost seven foot monster capable of destruction, in NGW he has been reduced to being Avery Miles bitch. Kayla just got a title match sprung on her when she wasn’t expecting it and it was all done by our sister Amber...Matt has also not looked the greatest. No our family isn’t really doing too well at the moment….”
“I wanted to lead the charge in us staying at the top, in the family being the best of the best. But I couldn’t do it. In the end Danielle was too much and just too good…”
“But, they say you need to get back on the horse so here I am. Ready to go against Adam Sanders and The Nite Stalker. Now Adam I have had some interactions with. He and I have talked and he has been a total sweetheart offering up words of encouragement and now here we are getting in the ring, and he and I have differences. Hom being a former champion and all. He knows what it is to succeed and to be able to hold a title belt. I don’t….”
“I like Adam, I like what he stands for and I will be happy to get in the ring with him knowing just how talented he is. But our other opponent, I have to be honest. Scares the shit out of me. Kind of like that Manticore...Phantom..guy...in NGW. The Nite Stalker talks weird, says weird things and makes me want to hide under my blankets….”
She makes a face and grumbles hugging her teddy bear.
“Ask Jason. He put on Friday the 13th last week and I spent half the movie with my face buried in his chest. But Kayla says I should just face my fears and that Stalker is nothing but a sad little man who watches too many make up tutorials and thought it looked cool….”
“So that’s what I’m gonna do on Hype….I need to get back into it and try and get back to my winning ways. I need to start the momentum for my family and make sure we all get a roll on….”
"I want to do this and I'm passionate about it. See if I had lost to Danielle and just not given two shits then it would have been a problem. You only feel disappointment and pain about something when you care about it. And I care about professional wrestling. I care about getting in the ring and being the best. I care about my family name and I care about trying to be the best of the best. I want to hold the WCG Long beach title or the south bay title...I want to be the West coast genesis champion one day, then move up to NGW and be the second Richards sister to hold that world title...."
"But, I want to do it my way. I don't want to cheat or be mean or use every advantage I can. I want to do it by just being better, and to do that I need to learn and go on to new challenges...."
"So that's what I'll do this saturday, and every show after, every challenge after..."