Post by KEG on Feb 18, 2018 12:28:17 GMT -5
*The scene opens and we find ourselves in some sort of office building. We see a desk with a secretary sitting behind it answering phone calls, writing...typical secretary stuff. She's sitting in front of two large wooden doors. The camera pans out a bit and we see some chairs across from the doors. And wouldn't ya know it, occupying one of those chairs is none other than everyone's drunken hero. KEG takes a swig from his bottle of Old No.7 as he sits and waits. Waiting for what you ask? Why don't we find out.*
KEG: All the drunkaholics and all the marks are prolly sittin' back, wonderin' exactly what this drunken bastard has got up his sleeve today. Especially one Daisy Rose. It's no surprise that KEG delivers the most entertainin'...the most powerful promos in this business today. And today...today's promo is gonna be no different than the others. Yeah ya got that right Daisy...it's gonna most definitely suck to be ya when ya step into the ring against me for yer Spotlight Title.
Now bein' the nice drunken bastard that KEG is...after he's done verbally assaultin' ya today...after he's done physically assualtin' ya on Sunday night, don't ya worry Daisy. Ya don't have to go and hide from this circuit and re-question your pathetic career and do a complete makeover of your gimmick. No...KEG is here doin' that for ya right now Rosey. No no...this drunken bastard is runnin' from store to store this time buyin' ya different outfits to fit suggested gimmicks. KEG is gonna make ya huuuuuge. Just ya watch.
*Suddenly, the secretary's voice is heard.*
Secretary: Mr. KEG, Mr. Wentsworth is ready to see you now.
*KEG gets up and walks through the double doors into some executive office. A man in a black leather swivel chair spins around and stands up to greet KEG.*
Mr. Wentsworth: *Shaking KEG's hand* Hello Mr. KEG. It's nice to meet you. I hear you have some very interesting ideas to help me.
KEG: Oh I do amigo.
Mr. Wentsworth: I must admit while I'm very anxious to hear your ideas, I'm also a bit confused at what a professional wrestler like yourself can do for me...the CEO of the greatest toy company in the world...Toys 'R Us.
KEG: Hell, I'll be straight with ya. I ain't no a damn thing 'bout toys or kids or what not. But what this drunken bastard does know is that what ya need...what Toys 'R Us needs is a new mascot. Ya gotta get rid of that giraffe thing ya got and use something a bit more realistic...somethin' that kids could relate to. Not only that, but somethin' that reminds grownups they're always still a kid in 'em.
Mr. Wentsworth: You make some very interesting points Mr. KEG. But I still don't see how somethin' like this could be accomplished.
KEG: Very simple...make this man your new Toys 'R Us mascot *KEG pulls a picture out of his back pocket and hands it to Mr. Wentsworth.*
Mr. Wentsworth: Who's this?
KEG: That's Daisy Rose. Hey even the name is a perfect fit. I'm tellin' ya, after this drunken legend gets done whoopin' her ass Sunday night, she can come to work for ya. What do ya think?
Mr. Wentsworth: HAHA! This is great. Look at this guy. He's a man but yet again, he looks like a kid. And the name is perfect... Daisy Rose.
KEG: I can just picture the bitch singin' the song now. *Singing* I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R Us kid...there's a million games and toys here that I can play with...*End singing, to the gratitude of Mr. Wentsworth*.
Mr. Wentsworth: Ohhh I think this is going to work out great. Thank you Mr. KEG. Just send her here and we'll put her to work. This is perfect for her.
KEG: Sounds good. Now if ya don't mind, this drunken bastard has got 'nother appointment, not too mention he needs to finish verbally assaultin' Rosey.
*KEG leaves the room and heads in an elevator. Before you know it, KEG exits the building and is walking down the street. He takes a swig from his bottle of Old No.7 and continues speaking.*
KEG: Ya know Rosey, this drunken bastard thinks that's just the gig for ya. Don't shoot it down just yet cuz we know and ya know that in a couple of weeks, when ya find yourself re-evaluating yourself and changin' your image, you'll see that this is the perfect fit. Not that tough yet sensitive gal ya seem to be aimin' for now. Face the facts Rosey, not only do ya stink it up in the ring...but you're not gonna be champ for long.
But for now, ya should be down on your hands and fuckin' knees thankin' KEG every opportunity ya possibly have. Ya went from curtain jerkin’ NGW matches and cuz ya have to take on this drunken bastard...ya just got pushed all the way up to the semi-main event. Savor the flavor jackass cuz ya'll surely never find yourself in main event status 'gain...not as long as this drunken bastard is 'round.
But seriously Rosey, what makes ya think that ya actually stand a chance of goin' one on one with the Drunk One and bein’ able to walk out with yer Spotlight Title? Cuz ya won more matches thus far in the NGW? Or could it be cuz it's only KEG you're goin' up 'gainst? I mean, that's what ya keep tellin' yourself each and every fuckin' time you're 'bout to step up in that ring and get your ass whooped.
Ya go on and on on Twitter 'bout how KEG is nuttin' but a drunk and washed up like the rest of the people say. Is it Rosey? Shit, sure as hell doesn't seem like it is. If it was in fact, then I wouldn't be facin’ ya for the Spotlight Title at Dissention. If it was in fact, then I wouldn't be carvin’ my spot back in the title picture, now would I? There's just a few things ya don't seem to understand Rosey...like just how much ya ABSOLUTELY SUCK!
Tell me somethin' Rosey...what are ya tryin' to accomplish? Are ya trying to work yerself up in a tizzy tryin’ to make yourself believe ya can beat me? Is that what ya have sunk too Rosey? Ya need to realize that I'M THE SPOTLIGHT of the show!
Don't ya see Rosey...no one in the wrestlin' world gives two shits 'bout ya. Maybe they would if ya could sit down and figure out just exactly who you're gonna be today. Ya wanna be the Toys 'R Us mascot, runnin' 'round and singin' the song, then that's fine. Ya wanna be the poster child for pull up Huggies...hell, that's great. But ya see, as long as you're the Spotlight champ ya ain’t gonna get a reprieve from me, ya dig? I ain’t gonna let you stop me from gettin another championship and one that will let me get back on the horse and make my way back to the top.
Ya know Daisy, I know ya wanna fight it out and ya plan on doing whatever ya can to retain yer title. But when ya step in that squared circle Sunday night, ya ain’t gonna walk out with the belt. That’s fer damn sure! So bring everythin’ ya got girlie, because I’ll bring everythin’ I got and I ain’t gonna stop until I leave with that belt.
*KEG walks now walks out as the scene fades out to black.*
KEG: All the drunkaholics and all the marks are prolly sittin' back, wonderin' exactly what this drunken bastard has got up his sleeve today. Especially one Daisy Rose. It's no surprise that KEG delivers the most entertainin'...the most powerful promos in this business today. And today...today's promo is gonna be no different than the others. Yeah ya got that right Daisy...it's gonna most definitely suck to be ya when ya step into the ring against me for yer Spotlight Title.
Now bein' the nice drunken bastard that KEG is...after he's done verbally assaultin' ya today...after he's done physically assualtin' ya on Sunday night, don't ya worry Daisy. Ya don't have to go and hide from this circuit and re-question your pathetic career and do a complete makeover of your gimmick. No...KEG is here doin' that for ya right now Rosey. No no...this drunken bastard is runnin' from store to store this time buyin' ya different outfits to fit suggested gimmicks. KEG is gonna make ya huuuuuge. Just ya watch.
*Suddenly, the secretary's voice is heard.*
Secretary: Mr. KEG, Mr. Wentsworth is ready to see you now.
*KEG gets up and walks through the double doors into some executive office. A man in a black leather swivel chair spins around and stands up to greet KEG.*
Mr. Wentsworth: *Shaking KEG's hand* Hello Mr. KEG. It's nice to meet you. I hear you have some very interesting ideas to help me.
KEG: Oh I do amigo.
Mr. Wentsworth: I must admit while I'm very anxious to hear your ideas, I'm also a bit confused at what a professional wrestler like yourself can do for me...the CEO of the greatest toy company in the world...Toys 'R Us.
KEG: Hell, I'll be straight with ya. I ain't no a damn thing 'bout toys or kids or what not. But what this drunken bastard does know is that what ya need...what Toys 'R Us needs is a new mascot. Ya gotta get rid of that giraffe thing ya got and use something a bit more realistic...somethin' that kids could relate to. Not only that, but somethin' that reminds grownups they're always still a kid in 'em.
Mr. Wentsworth: You make some very interesting points Mr. KEG. But I still don't see how somethin' like this could be accomplished.
KEG: Very simple...make this man your new Toys 'R Us mascot *KEG pulls a picture out of his back pocket and hands it to Mr. Wentsworth.*
Mr. Wentsworth: Who's this?
KEG: That's Daisy Rose. Hey even the name is a perfect fit. I'm tellin' ya, after this drunken legend gets done whoopin' her ass Sunday night, she can come to work for ya. What do ya think?
Mr. Wentsworth: HAHA! This is great. Look at this guy. He's a man but yet again, he looks like a kid. And the name is perfect... Daisy Rose.
KEG: I can just picture the bitch singin' the song now. *Singing* I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys 'R Us kid...there's a million games and toys here that I can play with...*End singing, to the gratitude of Mr. Wentsworth*.
Mr. Wentsworth: Ohhh I think this is going to work out great. Thank you Mr. KEG. Just send her here and we'll put her to work. This is perfect for her.
KEG: Sounds good. Now if ya don't mind, this drunken bastard has got 'nother appointment, not too mention he needs to finish verbally assaultin' Rosey.
*KEG leaves the room and heads in an elevator. Before you know it, KEG exits the building and is walking down the street. He takes a swig from his bottle of Old No.7 and continues speaking.*
KEG: Ya know Rosey, this drunken bastard thinks that's just the gig for ya. Don't shoot it down just yet cuz we know and ya know that in a couple of weeks, when ya find yourself re-evaluating yourself and changin' your image, you'll see that this is the perfect fit. Not that tough yet sensitive gal ya seem to be aimin' for now. Face the facts Rosey, not only do ya stink it up in the ring...but you're not gonna be champ for long.
But for now, ya should be down on your hands and fuckin' knees thankin' KEG every opportunity ya possibly have. Ya went from curtain jerkin’ NGW matches and cuz ya have to take on this drunken bastard...ya just got pushed all the way up to the semi-main event. Savor the flavor jackass cuz ya'll surely never find yourself in main event status 'gain...not as long as this drunken bastard is 'round.
But seriously Rosey, what makes ya think that ya actually stand a chance of goin' one on one with the Drunk One and bein’ able to walk out with yer Spotlight Title? Cuz ya won more matches thus far in the NGW? Or could it be cuz it's only KEG you're goin' up 'gainst? I mean, that's what ya keep tellin' yourself each and every fuckin' time you're 'bout to step up in that ring and get your ass whooped.
Ya go on and on on Twitter 'bout how KEG is nuttin' but a drunk and washed up like the rest of the people say. Is it Rosey? Shit, sure as hell doesn't seem like it is. If it was in fact, then I wouldn't be facin’ ya for the Spotlight Title at Dissention. If it was in fact, then I wouldn't be carvin’ my spot back in the title picture, now would I? There's just a few things ya don't seem to understand Rosey...like just how much ya ABSOLUTELY SUCK!
Tell me somethin' Rosey...what are ya tryin' to accomplish? Are ya trying to work yerself up in a tizzy tryin’ to make yourself believe ya can beat me? Is that what ya have sunk too Rosey? Ya need to realize that I'M THE SPOTLIGHT of the show!
Don't ya see Rosey...no one in the wrestlin' world gives two shits 'bout ya. Maybe they would if ya could sit down and figure out just exactly who you're gonna be today. Ya wanna be the Toys 'R Us mascot, runnin' 'round and singin' the song, then that's fine. Ya wanna be the poster child for pull up Huggies...hell, that's great. But ya see, as long as you're the Spotlight champ ya ain’t gonna get a reprieve from me, ya dig? I ain’t gonna let you stop me from gettin another championship and one that will let me get back on the horse and make my way back to the top.
Ya know Daisy, I know ya wanna fight it out and ya plan on doing whatever ya can to retain yer title. But when ya step in that squared circle Sunday night, ya ain’t gonna walk out with the belt. That’s fer damn sure! So bring everythin’ ya got girlie, because I’ll bring everythin’ I got and I ain’t gonna stop until I leave with that belt.
*KEG walks now walks out as the scene fades out to black.*