Johnny Maverick- Lemons

We are in Johnny’s mind palace.

For the uninitiated the Mind palace is either the visual representation of the inner workings of Johnny Maverick’s mind beamed into our heads through the means of his immeasurable psychic powers OR a public access tv studio he rents out to film his promos in. Adorning the walls are many images of Kayla Richards as there was last time along with a new central image of Johnny driving the infamous ‘Hello Kitty’ kneepad into the skull of Matt Shields.

“Greetings Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends and Neighbors, fellow vibrations in the mind of the one true God whose name is Love. I was just admiring some new artwork here in my Mind Palace. I wonder how Kayla feels about this picture. Disgusted? Tormented… Aroused? Oh I like the sound of that last one. You see she has to be realizing at this point that I am every single thing that Matthew Shields has lied about being.” Johnny says. The video skips and we see a few brief frames of Johnny in a distorted hockey mask and a filthy leather jacket covered in patches before we return to normal.

“Hey Matt. Where are my points at now, bitch?” Johnny asks with a smirk. He’s wearing a very unique shirt which seems to be stitched together from the bits of the ‘Destroyers’ shirt that was torn apart during the tag team title number one contender’s match with a few notable ‘corrections’. Mainly that the last ‘S’ in Destroyers has been removed and in the middle of the pyramid logo there is a picture of Johnny’s smiling face.

“Kayla is hard at work trying to downplay my accomplishments but let’s set the record straight. Johnny Maverick knocked Jack Tillman the hell out and knocked his mouth guard into the nosebleeds. Johnny Maverick made Matthew Shields tap out like his life depended on it and then just for gits and shiggles I knocked him the fuck out too and inducted him into the Hello Kitty Doom Doom Train Hall of Fame. So now that I’ve made an example out of those two I have decided to lay claim to a new Title…” Johnny looks down at his shirt then back at the camera with a smirk.

“The Destroyer of Destroyers.” Johnny says, really liking the sound of that.

“In a relatively short period of time I have done far more than the Guardians claimed they would and I did it by myself. Hell, if all I did was show up this week in this t-shirt I would have already done more than The Rebel Society whose entire mission statement seems to be “We are the ambivalent team and we designed t-shirts with a logo that pretty FUCKING blatantly rips off the compass logo designed for Johnny’s old True North gimmick.’ Yes, Rebel Society has proven they are top in the company when it comes to wearing shirts and stealing ideas. Can we talk about the real reason this stable is a thing? Because all this stable warfare is causing everyone to worry about being ganged up on? No no no that’s way too simple of an idea. You see whenever this kinda shit breaks out everyone is looking to join up with a side because these things have a way of pushing people that aren’t involved in it down on the card. I didn’t sign up to be part of this war but sure enough it keeps showing up on my doorstep. Interrupting my matches. It has put me into a position I never wanted to be in but frankly… It’s a position I have to take. I have no issues with Daisy Rose, Alex Jones, Avery Miles, or Damon Graves as individuals but the moment they all showed up ‘united’ the only statement they made to the world is that they were cowards. Cowards making a desperate grab at relevance in a world they don’t believe needs them on their own anymore. You have all surrendered. Me? I’m adapting. When God gives me lemons I find a new God.” Johnny says, walking in front of a shelf full of holy books and scripture. He sets aside the Bible, the Quran, and the Tipitaka. He finally grabs ‘If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor’ by Bruce Campbell off of the shelf.

“Yeah. There we go. Teach me, oh Groovy One.” Johnny says. He puts the book under his arm for later reading.

“Heeeeeey Alex. How’s it going? Getting any? Me too! I really hope we can have a good match. It would be really great if none of your jackass friends show up and fuck everything up. I mean, I’m not holding my breath that there isn’t a bunch of retarded interference in this match but hey, that’s all part of the adaptation. Lemons. New God. That shit I said earlier. I knew very little about Alex when he came to Redemption but now? I’ve done my research. I know that Alex Jones can be one hell of a competitor. It’s a crying fucking shame he seems content being one of Avery Miles’ sidekicks. I want to fight the Alex Jones that is better than that. That is better than this ‘Rebel Society’. If you see him let me know. I think the two of us could have one hell of a fucking fight. That’s the son of a bitch I want to fight in the Colosseum. I’ve got a little over two months until I face Kayla Shields for the World Title and I plan on using that two months preparing myself by facing the greatest talent in the world. I mean, I also intend to use that time to mercilessly fuck with Kayla Richards and her friends and obtain a pair of her panties THAT BOUNTY IS STILL ACTIVE PEOPLE. But this isn’t about them right now, Alex. This is about you and I. This is about Johnny Maverick casting aside any doubt that he did not ‘earn’ this title shot. ” Johnny says. He clacks his tongue.

“Alex. I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m being harsh. I want better for you than this. I want better for you than the wrestling stable equivalent of Shadow the Hedgehog. I want better for you than a consideration of turning to the dark side over a….an Alicia Hixx promo? Really, Alex? You let Alicia Hixx get in your head? Alicia Hixx is barely in her own head. There’s some shit you need to get straightened out. I hope you straighten it out before your match. If you intend to come at me with anything less than your best then do yourself a favor and go see the Sistine Chapel instead of showing up for our match. It would be a better use of your time and less of a waste of mine.” Johnny says.

“So….before I go. I imagine Shields wants to organize a little revenge against me for what I did to him. Good. I want it. I want you and Kayla and her Silverback Gorilla brother and Tillman to come out and hurt me. I want you to beat me to a degree you would consider excessive and then I want you to go to the back patting yourselves on the back for doing such a good job….and right before you get to the back I want you to look back over your shoulders as I stand up… and I smile at you." Johnny smiles.

"See you in the ring Alex. Best of luck to you." Johnny says.