Post by Jazmyn Rain on Jan 21, 2018 22:08:42 GMT -5
Chapter Zero
Excerpt from Jazmyn Rain’s currently unnamed and unpublished autobiography…
“Life after college was so dreary. I had a typical 9 to 5 for a good year or so after I graduated Florida State and then due to a massive layoff, I ended up losing that. I had lost my independence. I was so gutted that I gave up on myself and moved back in with my father knowing I wouldn’t be able to afford to life on my own. Life, in general, frightened me. I was reluctant to grow up because I didn’t feel like I had what it took. My father, God bless him, did everything he could to help me during that time. I obviously wasn’t going to go back to my mother in Florida. I wanted to get away from her knowing that she was going to seriously destroy whatever was left of my confidence at times.
I took life for granted. After I moved back in with my father, partying and drinking was the life for me. I didn’t bother to look for a job, a serious relationship with the man of my dreams or even to do anything with my life. I was so down in the dumps about myself that I honestly wanted to party and drink until I died. My life felt directionless, purposeless and as time went on, I felt increasingly useless to the world. Even my father began to grow impatient with me because he didn’t like how I was carrying my life in the two to three years after I got laid off from my 9 to 5. I was happy to get the aughts over with so I could move past my teenage and young adult angst. When the new decade hit, I didn’t have any long term goals other than to just live and hope something fell on my lap.
I had no motivation or desire to do anything with my life because I felt I wasn’t good enough to try. But little did I know, in March of 2010, something WOULD fall on my lap… something unexpected…”
Date: March 18, 2010 (FLASHBACK)
Jazmyn Rain, at the time, 25 years of age, is all dressed up and ready to go for another night out on the town. Her lack of self-esteem is evident in what she’s wearing as she’s sporting a pair of slightly torn jeans, five inch high heels and a sleeveless black top that shows off her midriff. Her hair is in a ponytail and she’s wearing a Corona-branded baseball cap. Her hoop earrings are obviously oversized and overall, she looks like she put little to no effort into her wardrobe at all. She’s on the phone looking a little perturbed by the conversation that’s going on.
Jazmyn: Cammie, you can’t be serious!
Jazmyn sighs as she just received some bad news from Camryn over the phone.
Jazmyn: We didn’t even drink all THAT much last night. Or maybe it was because it was vodka and not whiskey? Shit, I still have a hangover and it’s like almost five…
Jazmyn pauses and sighs.
Jazmyn: So I guess that means we’re not going out tonight then? Ugh! I was so looking forward to getting shitfaced for a St. Patty’s Day encore, you know?
Jazmyn sighs again as she listens to Camryn confirm that they are not going out tonight.
Jazmyn: Okay. Fine. Get better, okay? Love you!
Jazmyn hangs up the phone and she walks to the living room area where her father takes a quick glance at her. Jazmyn winces a little seeing her father shake his head in disapproval.
Jazmyn: What?
Jazmyn’s father: You’re going out again?
Jazmyn: I WAS… but Cammie is sick so I guess I’m not.
Jazmyn’s father: Blessing in disguise. Sorry sweetheart, but you need to cut down on the partying and drinking… and you shouldn’t be going out looking like that.
Jazmyn: I can wear what I want! I’m 25!
Jazmyn’s father: Jazmyn, you’re not going out looking like that.
Jazmyn: I’m not going out at ALL, Dad!
Jazmyn’s father: Actually, yes you are. It just so happens that a friend of mine from work couldn’t make it to something we were going to do together. So, you’re going with me now.
Jazmyn: But… I don’t want to do whatever you’re doing! Ugh!
Jazmyn’s father: You don’t even know what we’re doing, sweetheart.
Jazmyn: Okay, what lame thing ARE we doing?
Jazmyn’s father: There’s a wrestling show in town and we’re going to go to it.
Jazmyn: Wrestling? Ew!!! That’s so lame!
Jazmyn’s father: Jazmyn… can’t you appreciate the fact that I want us to spend some father-daughter time?
Jazmyn: It’s not that, it’s that wrestling is so fake! I don’t understand why anyone would want to be part of that. It’s stupid!
Jazmyn’s father shakes his head and lets out an angry sigh indicating that he’s just about had it with her. He has a conflicted look in his eyes, not knowing whether he wants to say what is on his mind.
Jazmyn’s father: And to think the tickets I have are VIP, which includes a backstage tour after the show.
Jazmyn: I don’t care, it’s stupid. Again, those people that do that? What kind of life do they have?
Jazmyn’s father: A more productive life than YOURS, I’ll tell you that much. Now, sit down.
Jazmyn’s eyes widen, caught by surprise by the booming tone her father just gave her. It’s very rare that her father talks to her this way considering how attached they are to each other, but this is an instance where Lorenzo Cabrera has to show his daughter some tough love.
Jazmyn’s father: SIT DOWN!
Terrified of her father’s sudden aggressiveness, that’s what Jazmyn does as she sits on the couch.
Jazmyn’s father: I’m going to ask you a question, Jazmyn. What are you doing with your life?
Jazmyn: What do you mean?
Jazmyn’s father: You’re 25! You shouldn’t be living with me! You should be out on your own making a living and doing something with your life. I know that getting fired from your job… what was it… two, three years ago gutted you, but you just gave up on life in general. You gave up on yourself. I mean, look at you! Do you think I like seeing my daughter going out five nights a week dressed like the way you’re dressed right now? Come on, sweetheart! You don’t need those five inch heels. You don’t need to show off your stomach like that. You’re better than this. I know you’re better than going out and partying and drinking all the time. YOU know deep down in your heart that you’re better than this but this is the kind of life you choose to live?
Jazmyn: Dad… I… why… why are you being so mean?
Jazmyn’s eyes begin to well up with tears in hope that this causes her father to back off. However, on this particular day, that tactic is not going to work.
Jazmyn’s father: I’m not being mean. Tough love? Sure, but I just don’t know what to do with you anymore. I can’t kick you out. I don’t want to do that. I mean, I’d rather you DIDN’T live here, but I’d still rather have you here than at your mother’s, you know? You can’t live this party life forever. You’ve got to do SOMETHING with your life! ANYTHING! I don’t care if you’re working as a cashier at K-Mart, it’s still better than doing nothing with your life other than drowning yourself with Corona every night! I’m not letting you out of my sight, Jazmyn. You are going to quit living this life and you’re going to do something with it.
Jazmyn: But… I can’t…
Jazmyn’s father: You CAN!
Jazmyn: I can’t just go out there and get a job tomorrow…
Jazmyn pauses to choke up as tears stroll down her face.
Jazmyn: It’s impossible! It’s so scary I can’t… what if I never get a job?
Jazmyn’s father: I’m not asking you to get a job tomorrow. Baby steps! You can start by ditching this life you’re living because it’s not healthy! I’m trying to help you get started on living a productive life again, Jazmyn. That’s all I want from you. I won’t be on this earth forever. If I die tomorrow, what are you going to do? I don’t think Tammy is going to tolerate having you living under this roof much longer. You’re better than this…
Jazmyn: I can’t…
Jazmyn’s father: You CAN! I want to hear you say it, Jazmyn! Tell me that you’re better than wasting your life away on drinking and partying. Give me that much! Baby steps, like I said. This is step one. I’m sorry Jazmyn, but I’m taking the keys from you. You’re not going anywhere alone anymore and I HATE to do this to you… you’re 25 for crying out loud. But I will not allow you to live like this another day!
Jazmyn is left stunned and crying, not knowing what to say or do.
Jazmyn’s father: Where are your car keys?
Jazmyn: Dad, you can’t do this to me!
Jazmyn’s father: This pains me to do, but last I checked, you’re living in my house. Now, where are your car keys at?
Jazmyn: On my dresser…
Jazmyn’s father: Go get them…
Jazmyn slowly stands up, she begins to walk to her room but her father stops her in her tracks.
Jazmyn’s father: Wait, you didn’t say what I told you to say. Say it, Jazmyn!
Jazmyn: Say waht?
Jazmyn’s father: Tell me that you’re better than wasting your life away partying and drinking…
Jazmyn: Okay okay… I’m better than that.
Jazmyn’s father: Better than what?
Jazmyn: I’m… I’m better than wasting my life away like this… I’m better than dressing the way I dress… I’m better than living scared in my own bubble afraid of being an adult. I WANT to change Dad, I’ve always wanted to change. But I don’t know how and I’m scared that if I try, I’m going to fail!
Jazmyn’s father: Trying and failing is still better than not trying at all. Now, go grab your keys for me and while you’re at it… dress into something more responsible, alright?
Jazmyn nods through her tears and walks down the hallway, disappearing into her bedroom for a bit. Her father hangs his head and shakes it before looking straight ahead and wiping away his own tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.
Jazmyn’s father: That was the hardest thing I ever had to do as her father…
He composes himself to stay strong and a few minutes later, Jazmyn comes out of her bedroom now wearing a neon pink short sleeve shirt that covers her midriff as well as some black colored jeans and a pair of black and pink tennis shoes. Her ponytail is gone as her hair flows down. Jazmyn wipes away some last tears before handing her car keys to her father.
Jazmyn’s father: Much better! Come here…
Her father extends his arms and Jazmyn walks into them, burying her face into his chest to let out some emotions a little more.
Jazmyn’s father: It’s alright. I understand you’re scared. Being an adult… it’s terrifying, I know. But don’t you worry about that right now. Let’s go watch this wrestling show and have a great time, okay? You and me! We’ll have some fun on the backstage tour also and then tomorrow, we can get started on getting your life back on track, alright?
Jazmyn’s father gently pushes her away from his chest. She wipes some tears away and nods, understanding the situation.
Jazmyn: I don’t want to be a Corona-chugging party girl anymore Dad…
Jazmyn’s father: Good! You deserve better! Now come on, let’s get going. The show starts in an hour…
Jazmyn is comforted now as her father wraps an arm around her and they both head toward the front together. For the 25-year-old Florida State grad… she is completely unaware that on this night, her life is about to change…
TO BE CONTINUED...
Excerpt from Jazmyn Rain’s currently unnamed and unpublished autobiography…
“Life after college was so dreary. I had a typical 9 to 5 for a good year or so after I graduated Florida State and then due to a massive layoff, I ended up losing that. I had lost my independence. I was so gutted that I gave up on myself and moved back in with my father knowing I wouldn’t be able to afford to life on my own. Life, in general, frightened me. I was reluctant to grow up because I didn’t feel like I had what it took. My father, God bless him, did everything he could to help me during that time. I obviously wasn’t going to go back to my mother in Florida. I wanted to get away from her knowing that she was going to seriously destroy whatever was left of my confidence at times.
I took life for granted. After I moved back in with my father, partying and drinking was the life for me. I didn’t bother to look for a job, a serious relationship with the man of my dreams or even to do anything with my life. I was so down in the dumps about myself that I honestly wanted to party and drink until I died. My life felt directionless, purposeless and as time went on, I felt increasingly useless to the world. Even my father began to grow impatient with me because he didn’t like how I was carrying my life in the two to three years after I got laid off from my 9 to 5. I was happy to get the aughts over with so I could move past my teenage and young adult angst. When the new decade hit, I didn’t have any long term goals other than to just live and hope something fell on my lap.
I had no motivation or desire to do anything with my life because I felt I wasn’t good enough to try. But little did I know, in March of 2010, something WOULD fall on my lap… something unexpected…”
Date: March 18, 2010 (FLASHBACK)
Jazmyn Rain, at the time, 25 years of age, is all dressed up and ready to go for another night out on the town. Her lack of self-esteem is evident in what she’s wearing as she’s sporting a pair of slightly torn jeans, five inch high heels and a sleeveless black top that shows off her midriff. Her hair is in a ponytail and she’s wearing a Corona-branded baseball cap. Her hoop earrings are obviously oversized and overall, she looks like she put little to no effort into her wardrobe at all. She’s on the phone looking a little perturbed by the conversation that’s going on.
Jazmyn: Cammie, you can’t be serious!
Jazmyn sighs as she just received some bad news from Camryn over the phone.
Jazmyn: We didn’t even drink all THAT much last night. Or maybe it was because it was vodka and not whiskey? Shit, I still have a hangover and it’s like almost five…
Jazmyn pauses and sighs.
Jazmyn: So I guess that means we’re not going out tonight then? Ugh! I was so looking forward to getting shitfaced for a St. Patty’s Day encore, you know?
Jazmyn sighs again as she listens to Camryn confirm that they are not going out tonight.
Jazmyn: Okay. Fine. Get better, okay? Love you!
Jazmyn hangs up the phone and she walks to the living room area where her father takes a quick glance at her. Jazmyn winces a little seeing her father shake his head in disapproval.
Jazmyn: What?
Jazmyn’s father: You’re going out again?
Jazmyn: I WAS… but Cammie is sick so I guess I’m not.
Jazmyn’s father: Blessing in disguise. Sorry sweetheart, but you need to cut down on the partying and drinking… and you shouldn’t be going out looking like that.
Jazmyn: I can wear what I want! I’m 25!
Jazmyn’s father: Jazmyn, you’re not going out looking like that.
Jazmyn: I’m not going out at ALL, Dad!
Jazmyn’s father: Actually, yes you are. It just so happens that a friend of mine from work couldn’t make it to something we were going to do together. So, you’re going with me now.
Jazmyn: But… I don’t want to do whatever you’re doing! Ugh!
Jazmyn’s father: You don’t even know what we’re doing, sweetheart.
Jazmyn: Okay, what lame thing ARE we doing?
Jazmyn’s father: There’s a wrestling show in town and we’re going to go to it.
Jazmyn: Wrestling? Ew!!! That’s so lame!
Jazmyn’s father: Jazmyn… can’t you appreciate the fact that I want us to spend some father-daughter time?
Jazmyn: It’s not that, it’s that wrestling is so fake! I don’t understand why anyone would want to be part of that. It’s stupid!
Jazmyn’s father shakes his head and lets out an angry sigh indicating that he’s just about had it with her. He has a conflicted look in his eyes, not knowing whether he wants to say what is on his mind.
Jazmyn’s father: And to think the tickets I have are VIP, which includes a backstage tour after the show.
Jazmyn: I don’t care, it’s stupid. Again, those people that do that? What kind of life do they have?
Jazmyn’s father: A more productive life than YOURS, I’ll tell you that much. Now, sit down.
Jazmyn’s eyes widen, caught by surprise by the booming tone her father just gave her. It’s very rare that her father talks to her this way considering how attached they are to each other, but this is an instance where Lorenzo Cabrera has to show his daughter some tough love.
Jazmyn’s father: SIT DOWN!
Terrified of her father’s sudden aggressiveness, that’s what Jazmyn does as she sits on the couch.
Jazmyn’s father: I’m going to ask you a question, Jazmyn. What are you doing with your life?
Jazmyn: What do you mean?
Jazmyn’s father: You’re 25! You shouldn’t be living with me! You should be out on your own making a living and doing something with your life. I know that getting fired from your job… what was it… two, three years ago gutted you, but you just gave up on life in general. You gave up on yourself. I mean, look at you! Do you think I like seeing my daughter going out five nights a week dressed like the way you’re dressed right now? Come on, sweetheart! You don’t need those five inch heels. You don’t need to show off your stomach like that. You’re better than this. I know you’re better than going out and partying and drinking all the time. YOU know deep down in your heart that you’re better than this but this is the kind of life you choose to live?
Jazmyn: Dad… I… why… why are you being so mean?
Jazmyn’s eyes begin to well up with tears in hope that this causes her father to back off. However, on this particular day, that tactic is not going to work.
Jazmyn’s father: I’m not being mean. Tough love? Sure, but I just don’t know what to do with you anymore. I can’t kick you out. I don’t want to do that. I mean, I’d rather you DIDN’T live here, but I’d still rather have you here than at your mother’s, you know? You can’t live this party life forever. You’ve got to do SOMETHING with your life! ANYTHING! I don’t care if you’re working as a cashier at K-Mart, it’s still better than doing nothing with your life other than drowning yourself with Corona every night! I’m not letting you out of my sight, Jazmyn. You are going to quit living this life and you’re going to do something with it.
Jazmyn: But… I can’t…
Jazmyn’s father: You CAN!
Jazmyn: I can’t just go out there and get a job tomorrow…
Jazmyn pauses to choke up as tears stroll down her face.
Jazmyn: It’s impossible! It’s so scary I can’t… what if I never get a job?
Jazmyn’s father: I’m not asking you to get a job tomorrow. Baby steps! You can start by ditching this life you’re living because it’s not healthy! I’m trying to help you get started on living a productive life again, Jazmyn. That’s all I want from you. I won’t be on this earth forever. If I die tomorrow, what are you going to do? I don’t think Tammy is going to tolerate having you living under this roof much longer. You’re better than this…
Jazmyn: I can’t…
Jazmyn’s father: You CAN! I want to hear you say it, Jazmyn! Tell me that you’re better than wasting your life away on drinking and partying. Give me that much! Baby steps, like I said. This is step one. I’m sorry Jazmyn, but I’m taking the keys from you. You’re not going anywhere alone anymore and I HATE to do this to you… you’re 25 for crying out loud. But I will not allow you to live like this another day!
Jazmyn is left stunned and crying, not knowing what to say or do.
Jazmyn’s father: Where are your car keys?
Jazmyn: Dad, you can’t do this to me!
Jazmyn’s father: This pains me to do, but last I checked, you’re living in my house. Now, where are your car keys at?
Jazmyn: On my dresser…
Jazmyn’s father: Go get them…
Jazmyn slowly stands up, she begins to walk to her room but her father stops her in her tracks.
Jazmyn’s father: Wait, you didn’t say what I told you to say. Say it, Jazmyn!
Jazmyn: Say waht?
Jazmyn’s father: Tell me that you’re better than wasting your life away partying and drinking…
Jazmyn: Okay okay… I’m better than that.
Jazmyn’s father: Better than what?
Jazmyn: I’m… I’m better than wasting my life away like this… I’m better than dressing the way I dress… I’m better than living scared in my own bubble afraid of being an adult. I WANT to change Dad, I’ve always wanted to change. But I don’t know how and I’m scared that if I try, I’m going to fail!
Jazmyn’s father: Trying and failing is still better than not trying at all. Now, go grab your keys for me and while you’re at it… dress into something more responsible, alright?
Jazmyn nods through her tears and walks down the hallway, disappearing into her bedroom for a bit. Her father hangs his head and shakes it before looking straight ahead and wiping away his own tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.
Jazmyn’s father: That was the hardest thing I ever had to do as her father…
He composes himself to stay strong and a few minutes later, Jazmyn comes out of her bedroom now wearing a neon pink short sleeve shirt that covers her midriff as well as some black colored jeans and a pair of black and pink tennis shoes. Her ponytail is gone as her hair flows down. Jazmyn wipes away some last tears before handing her car keys to her father.
Jazmyn’s father: Much better! Come here…
Her father extends his arms and Jazmyn walks into them, burying her face into his chest to let out some emotions a little more.
Jazmyn’s father: It’s alright. I understand you’re scared. Being an adult… it’s terrifying, I know. But don’t you worry about that right now. Let’s go watch this wrestling show and have a great time, okay? You and me! We’ll have some fun on the backstage tour also and then tomorrow, we can get started on getting your life back on track, alright?
Jazmyn’s father gently pushes her away from his chest. She wipes some tears away and nods, understanding the situation.
Jazmyn: I don’t want to be a Corona-chugging party girl anymore Dad…
Jazmyn’s father: Good! You deserve better! Now come on, let’s get going. The show starts in an hour…
Jazmyn is comforted now as her father wraps an arm around her and they both head toward the front together. For the 25-year-old Florida State grad… she is completely unaware that on this night, her life is about to change…
TO BE CONTINUED...
