Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2018 15:29:20 GMT -5
***** ON CAMERA *****
"Welcome to La biblioteca del rey de la pesadilla"
Matt Shields sits in a strong looking chair, dark cherry wood, heavy black leather padding on the back and seat, right in the middle of a large library. The walls behind him and to each side are lined with mahogany bookcases, stacked with all types of leather bound books. Several classic works can be spotted along with some obscure books and modern favorites.
"That is Spanish for The Library of The Knightmare King. I felt it was appropriate considering the locale for the next Dissension. Why are we in the library of the knightmare king? Well it's because of one of the most important traits a king can possess. Today, you are not going to hear me talking about how I want to maim my opponent. You're not going to hear me talk about wanting to break his arm. You're not going to hear me talk about wanting to leave him a bloody mess. Today is about proving to the World that I possess every single trait a king must have. Everyone already knows that I possess strength. My two hundred and fifty two days as World champion, they prove that. Everyone knows that I can inspire loyalty. The strength of my Destroyer family, it shows that. The one trait that people don't seem to think I possess though, it's wisdom. I assure you that I have wisdom to spare. Nowhere is that more evident, than in the pages of this."
He stands up from the chair, goes to the middle bookcase on the right wall, and then pulls out a black leather bound book. He places it down on the cherry wood table close to his chair and in simple gold lettering we read
"Inside these pages, I have records of everyone in New Generation Wrestling, current and past. Today, we will be looking at the record of my opponent Johnny Maverick. In fact, we will be updating his record. So, let us begin."
Shields opens the book towards the middle and takes the pen from the small well on the desk.
"Okay, Johnny maverick currently sits at a negative seventy seven. Believe me, it is well earned. Now that we have that established, let's go ahead and begin with the updates. Johnny recently admitted that the winner of this match should get a title shot. As it's currently stipulated, him beating me earns him a shot, but me beating him, well it gets me nothing. For that, I am giving Johnny a point towards the positive. He actually gets another point in the positive for admitting that he's received far too many shots and always comes up short. Up the negative seventy five Johnny, that's good for you. Unfortunately, you lose ten points for being a little bitch and whining about me saying I was going to chop you into tiny little pieces with my ax, this getting my twitter account permanently suspended."
He shakes his head in disgust as he scribbles in the book and marks -85
"Now, as soon as I take away some, I realize you get three positive points for somehow pulling off dating two women at the same time. Unfortunately, the fact that both of your girlfriends are annoying cunts, well that's negative one point for each girlfriend so we have to subtract two. There's a few more negatives we have to add in as well. Not having a midget sidekick that you call Goose, that's negative five points for damn sure. Your last name is Maverick and you never once that to have any kind of sidekick named Goose? That is absolutely shameful. More on the negative side, weirdly flirting with my fiance. That's another negative five for you."
He goes to mark it down in the book, but then stops. He taps the pen on his cheek as he seems to be thinking.
"Wait, shit, if I subtract five points from you for that, I guess I have to subtract five from her as well for fucking encouraging you. That would put her at plus sixty four and that just sounds weird. Naw, screw it, it's negative five for you and I'm just gonna have to talk with her. Now, let's actually get back to positive things for you. Recognizing the greatness that is Bruce motherfucking Campbell, that's worth a good seven points, plus, it's groovy."
He flashes that crazy looking smile, then makes a few more marks in the book.
"That isn't the only good thing on Johnny Maverick though. Not being Adrien Cochrane, that's worth one point. Sure every person in this book except for Adrien has got that positive bump, but still. Johnny gets a huge bump for not being a god damned guardian, That's worth a positive fifty fucking points. Right now, you have made a massive leap forward. A plus thirty nine is almost unheard of for one update. Sadly, this isn't the end of the update. You had to go and try to buy a pair of my fiance's used panties. That's worth negative twenty five points, and it's just plain creepy. I've always known you were a weird demented little fucker, but I didn't think you would ever do something quite that pervy."
Shields shudders for a second and makes another mark, bringing him down to negative sixty one. He goes to close the book, but stops.
"One more update. I'm pretty sure you originated the tide pod challenge, but I'm not sure if that should get you positive points or negative points. One on hand, you could be helping cleanse the World of people that are stupid enough to eat plastic packets of laundry detergent. Other hand... you know what, I'm gonna give you a plus two just because."
Shields makes his last mark and closes up the book.
"You're still in the negative, but you've actually come up by eighteen points. It's definitely not the largest jump in the history of The Book of Shields, but it's very respectable. Unlike you and you dirty dirty whore girlfriends. Johnny, I really hope at least one of them is good at the whole nursing thing, because even though I said I wasn't gonna talk about how I plan to break your arm... well I definitely would like to break your arm in this match. I don't want to just hurt your arm and make you tap out. I want to make it where you are out for at least months. Maybe a shattered elbow joint or a separated shoulder joint. I could break your humerus, your radius, your ulna. I could tear the interosseous membrane. To see you there on the mat writhing in pain and screaming in agony. Believe me, that will get both myself and Kayla very excited. Not having to deal with your insanity for a few months or ever again, that might just earn you a few more positive points in the old book of Shields. Probably not, but you never know."
Matt just gives a slight shrug of his shoulders as he picks up the book, places it back on the shelf, then looks over a few more before pulling out The Doom That Came to Sarnath and Other Stories. He sits back in his chair and starts to read as the camera slowly pulls back. The doors then shut as everything fades to black.
"Welcome to La biblioteca del rey de la pesadilla"
Matt Shields sits in a strong looking chair, dark cherry wood, heavy black leather padding on the back and seat, right in the middle of a large library. The walls behind him and to each side are lined with mahogany bookcases, stacked with all types of leather bound books. Several classic works can be spotted along with some obscure books and modern favorites.
"That is Spanish for The Library of The Knightmare King. I felt it was appropriate considering the locale for the next Dissension. Why are we in the library of the knightmare king? Well it's because of one of the most important traits a king can possess. Today, you are not going to hear me talking about how I want to maim my opponent. You're not going to hear me talk about wanting to break his arm. You're not going to hear me talk about wanting to leave him a bloody mess. Today is about proving to the World that I possess every single trait a king must have. Everyone already knows that I possess strength. My two hundred and fifty two days as World champion, they prove that. Everyone knows that I can inspire loyalty. The strength of my Destroyer family, it shows that. The one trait that people don't seem to think I possess though, it's wisdom. I assure you that I have wisdom to spare. Nowhere is that more evident, than in the pages of this."
He stands up from the chair, goes to the middle bookcase on the right wall, and then pulls out a black leather bound book. He places it down on the cherry wood table close to his chair and in simple gold lettering we read
THE BOOK
OF
SHIELDS
"Inside these pages, I have records of everyone in New Generation Wrestling, current and past. Today, we will be looking at the record of my opponent Johnny Maverick. In fact, we will be updating his record. So, let us begin."
Shields opens the book towards the middle and takes the pen from the small well on the desk.
"Okay, Johnny maverick currently sits at a negative seventy seven. Believe me, it is well earned. Now that we have that established, let's go ahead and begin with the updates. Johnny recently admitted that the winner of this match should get a title shot. As it's currently stipulated, him beating me earns him a shot, but me beating him, well it gets me nothing. For that, I am giving Johnny a point towards the positive. He actually gets another point in the positive for admitting that he's received far too many shots and always comes up short. Up the negative seventy five Johnny, that's good for you. Unfortunately, you lose ten points for being a little bitch and whining about me saying I was going to chop you into tiny little pieces with my ax, this getting my twitter account permanently suspended."
He shakes his head in disgust as he scribbles in the book and marks -85
"Now, as soon as I take away some, I realize you get three positive points for somehow pulling off dating two women at the same time. Unfortunately, the fact that both of your girlfriends are annoying cunts, well that's negative one point for each girlfriend so we have to subtract two. There's a few more negatives we have to add in as well. Not having a midget sidekick that you call Goose, that's negative five points for damn sure. Your last name is Maverick and you never once that to have any kind of sidekick named Goose? That is absolutely shameful. More on the negative side, weirdly flirting with my fiance. That's another negative five for you."
He goes to mark it down in the book, but then stops. He taps the pen on his cheek as he seems to be thinking.
"Wait, shit, if I subtract five points from you for that, I guess I have to subtract five from her as well for fucking encouraging you. That would put her at plus sixty four and that just sounds weird. Naw, screw it, it's negative five for you and I'm just gonna have to talk with her. Now, let's actually get back to positive things for you. Recognizing the greatness that is Bruce motherfucking Campbell, that's worth a good seven points, plus, it's groovy."
He flashes that crazy looking smile, then makes a few more marks in the book.
"That isn't the only good thing on Johnny Maverick though. Not being Adrien Cochrane, that's worth one point. Sure every person in this book except for Adrien has got that positive bump, but still. Johnny gets a huge bump for not being a god damned guardian, That's worth a positive fifty fucking points. Right now, you have made a massive leap forward. A plus thirty nine is almost unheard of for one update. Sadly, this isn't the end of the update. You had to go and try to buy a pair of my fiance's used panties. That's worth negative twenty five points, and it's just plain creepy. I've always known you were a weird demented little fucker, but I didn't think you would ever do something quite that pervy."
Shields shudders for a second and makes another mark, bringing him down to negative sixty one. He goes to close the book, but stops.
"One more update. I'm pretty sure you originated the tide pod challenge, but I'm not sure if that should get you positive points or negative points. One on hand, you could be helping cleanse the World of people that are stupid enough to eat plastic packets of laundry detergent. Other hand... you know what, I'm gonna give you a plus two just because."
Shields makes his last mark and closes up the book.
"You're still in the negative, but you've actually come up by eighteen points. It's definitely not the largest jump in the history of The Book of Shields, but it's very respectable. Unlike you and you dirty dirty whore girlfriends. Johnny, I really hope at least one of them is good at the whole nursing thing, because even though I said I wasn't gonna talk about how I plan to break your arm... well I definitely would like to break your arm in this match. I don't want to just hurt your arm and make you tap out. I want to make it where you are out for at least months. Maybe a shattered elbow joint or a separated shoulder joint. I could break your humerus, your radius, your ulna. I could tear the interosseous membrane. To see you there on the mat writhing in pain and screaming in agony. Believe me, that will get both myself and Kayla very excited. Not having to deal with your insanity for a few months or ever again, that might just earn you a few more positive points in the old book of Shields. Probably not, but you never know."
Matt just gives a slight shrug of his shoulders as he picks up the book, places it back on the shelf, then looks over a few more before pulling out The Doom That Came to Sarnath and Other Stories. He sits back in his chair and starts to read as the camera slowly pulls back. The doors then shut as everything fades to black.
