Ronnie North- Nude Penetration Wrestling

“Ronnie, why am I here?” Josh asks.

“Because I want to show you what I do as my day job little buddy. I’ve spent my time away from the ring building an empire. A Fuck-Empire.” Ronnie says. Ronnie was in a robe showing Josh around his studio. Ronnie had just finished ‘acting’ in a scene and was now filming and Josh was covering his eyes every time he passed a naked woman (blurred out for the viewers at home). The one time he uncovers his eyes he sees a large buff African-American man wearing a blue singlet with a Star of David on it and a cape.

“Uh….Ronnie? Is that supposed to be…” Josh asks.

“The Goo Blazer? Of course! I’ve used him for so many scenes. Isaiah is a pro.” Ronnie says excitedly.

“Yeah but it’s just…” Josh says, watching the man put on a huge Jewfro wig.

“Just what?” Ronnie asks.

“I don’t wear a cape anymore.” Josh says.

“Oh damn, you’re right. HEY ISAIAH! WE’RE NIXXING THE CAPE!” Ronnie says.

“You got it, Ronnie!” Isaiah says as he removes the cape.

“Wow everyone is in such a good mood here and there’s catering and… this is NOT the seedy and gross experience I thought it would be.” Josh says, though he certainly wasn’t touching ANY of the food at catering.

“I take care of my people. I’m really trying to fight this stereotype that everyone in this industry is just an STD-riddled fuckmonster. We’re normal people with normal lives who provide a service that people seem to like. Plus, to be part of my company you have to get tested on the regs. Everyone here is SUPER clean.” Ronnie says as Josh covers his eyes again as two topless women walk by.

“Really?” Ronnie says.

“I’ve never seen any woman aside from my fiancé naked before.” Josh says.

“Are…are you serious? Kaylee’s never had another woman…?” Ronnie starts to ask.

“We’ve talked about it but…” Josh starts to explain

“You know what? Nevermind. I really don’t want to know.” Ronnie says. Ever since Josh and Kaylee started dating he’d had this weird thing. It seemed Ronnie’s only sexual hang-up was hearing about Josh and Kaylee being intimate. Torturing Ronnie with that fact was one of Kaylee’s favorite things in the world to do.

“Is that an NGW camera? Are you promoting right now?” Josh asks.

“Totally.” Ronnie says.

“You wanna get it out of the way so I can go home and take a very hot shower?” Josh asks, another woman passes by them and runs her hands along his chest. His cheeks turn redder than a stop sign.

“Is this the new guy? Oh my God I want to run my hands through that hair.” The actress who plays Jizz-Myn Rain says.

“I haven’t talked him into it, yet.” Ronnie says.

“NO.” Josh insists. The young woman gives Josh’s hair a playful tug and he releases an unmanly yelp before she walks way. The sexual magnetism of Joshua Goldstein remains a mystery to everyone INCLUDING Josh.

“Right then, it’s good to be back, NGW. I’m proud of my skinny little Jewish buddy but at the same time… sitting on the sidelines has been hard. Harder than ME in Nude Penetration Wrestling’s NEWEST video extravaganza, WHOREFARE! That’s right it’s a sixteen-person orgy in a double cage that ends with me as ‘Adrien Cock-Ring’ absolutely GLAZING ‘Kayla Rim-chards’ like a Destroyer Donut.” Ronnie says with a pride, the name of his website flashing across the screen, followed by another message that the NGW in NO WAY endorses Nude Penetration Wrestling OR ‘Pointing North’ Productions.

“Ronnie, I don’t think you could play Adrien. I mean….you’ve never even met him before.” Josh says, scratching his head and wondering what the hell he was doing here.

“Well I’ve been really improving my acting since I’ve been injured and I think the classes are really starting to help, so check this out.” Ronnie says before clearing his throat.

“I’ma Adrien! I like-a the pop-punk-a songs and-a the dropkicks!” Ronnie says, putting on a bad Italian accent for some reason.

“…Okay that was pretty solid.” Josh admits.

“And speaking of Adrien, You won’t HASHTAG BELIEVE what trouble ‘Daisy Blows’ is in for when ‘The Goo Blazer’ and ‘Jess-Suck-A Rears’ team up and go crazy on her!” Ronnie says.

“You’re losing focus again.” Josh says.

“Right. Sorry. Even if The Radicalliance HADN’T returned we would’ve gone down in history as one of the greatest tag teams in the long history of IPW, Redemption, and NGW. You can try and dispute but the numbers don’t lie. We were the final IPW Tag Champions and we beat Rebel Ink, another decorated Tag Team, for the Redemption Tag Titles. All that’s left for us is to take the NGW Tag belts and man do we have some awesome help this time. 2X Spotlight Champion Kaylee Kassie is the third member of the Radicalliance and the three of us are going to win tag gold in NGW. That is safe money right there. Let’s be honest, the tag team division in NGW has been garbage so far. Thrown together teams made from bits and pieces of stables... That’s not how you do it. The Radicalliance is about true Unity, man. John Blade learned that when he was the first to fall to the E-RAD-Icator. He most certainly won’t be the last.” Ronnie says.

“I’m not gonna count out Jessica Sears. I mean heck, even without her wrestling experience and in-ring capabilities she’s a threat to me because I just….can’t take my eyes off of her butt. It haunts me. It’s….it’s perfect in a way no butt should ever be. I just wanna…” Ronnie says. Josh clears his throat.

“Right. Jessica is an amazing talent and I do not discount her ability nor the abilities of her partner. The Dropkick King has a heck of a reputation in this company and for good reason. He certainly has an eye for amazing talent.” Ronnie says. Josh is briefly flattered.

“And butts. He’s got a GREAT eye for butts. I feel like Salieri and her butt is Mozart. Like, I really want to compliment her on how good she is in the ring because she’s amazing but I close my eyes and all I see is her butt.” Ronnie says. Aaaaand the flattery is gone.

“Ron…” Josh says.

“And the other tag team from the stable that just debuted. Them too. Damon Graves who must be thanking GOD he’s part of a team again teaming up with Avery Miles, whose name is an anagram for ‘Smeary Evil’ which really doesn’t mean anything but I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT DAT ASS.” Ronnie says.

“I mean….Kaylee’s butt is nicer.” Josh says.

“HOW DARE YOU PUT THAT IMAGE IN MY MIND. PROMO OVER!” Ronnie says, storming away. Josh sighs.

“He’ll… He’ll get over it in a minute. Radicalliance out.” Josh says before the camera cuts out.

"Isaiah! It's time for your scene!" Ronnie says. Isaiah happily walks offscreen to get to his scene. Ronnie calls action and Josh tries to look away but one thing catches his eye that he can't ignore.

"Ronnie! How could you cast a guy as a Jew if he isn't circumcised!" Josh says.

-END-