Post by JMav/JGold/RNorth/MKarloff on Dec 24, 2017 12:55:23 GMT -5
MARTIN KARLOFF
Futilty
Martin is in a nice black suit with a silk red tie. He stands at a podium with a ‘Crimson Incorporated’ logo on the front. He adjusts the tie a bit before putting on a pair of reading glasses. He briefly reads over his prepared statement before deciding to throw it in a trash bin under the podium. He clears his throat.Futilty
“The Allfather has asked that I take a moment to explain my actions after my recent match. Yes it is true that I attacked Trixie and the referee after the match but I believe my actions to be entirely justified. Clearly the referee had been influenced. Thus he and Trixie had to be punished for their flagrant abuse of the rules. What kind of man would I be if I had allowed her to walk away? A slow count is the only explanation for how Trixie was able to kick out of the Twist of Cain which is the most devastating finishing maneuver in the history of professional wrestling. I was foolish to ignore the warnings that Trixie has been receiving special treatment due to her association with the management. Perhaps I just expect too much out of people. I’m not mad, Trixie. Frankly, I am disappointed. Please do not further embarrass yourself and cross my name off of your list as you know what you did and are aware you do not deserve to call that a win. You are very fortunate that I have advised my father not to pursue legal action against you and Devlin Scott because I would like to be the bigger man here. Frankly after our match I had given some small thought to gouging out your pretty eyes with an ice cream scoop, preserving them in a jar, and leaving them on Devlin’s desk but….no. That will not do. Instead? I forgive you, Trixie. It’s not your fault you have spread yourself too thin and have to cut corners to get anything done in the ring. For me to expect any more of you would be, frankly, unrealistic and irresponsible. Lingerie Football isn’t going to play itself.” Martin says in a professional tone. His voice never escalates to anger. He never succumbs to any emotions.
“And now we move on to the future, and if there were no clearer indication that management has no clue what to do with me then here we are. John Blade. It should be clear to anyone with a sliver of a brain stem that I should be doing something bigger than this match. If I’m being entirely honest this seems like a profound waste of my time. This is time I could be spending at home with my lovely family for the holidays. This is time I could be using to watch any of the movies on the Hammer Horror collection my lovely wife purchased me for Christmas. Have you ever seen Christopher Lee play Dracula? I could be doing that instead of wrestling John Blade. Frankly, this barely seems worth the time it will take to get painted up in the back before the match.” Martin says, again there is no emotion. He states everything as plain and clear fact.
“Upon finding out who I was booked against this week, Father Daemon informed me I could take care of this Sermon on my own and I am in agreement. The subject of today’s Sermon is futility. Futility in the face of superiority. Futility can be a very scary thing. It is defined as pointlessness or uselessness and it is a term that John Blade should be very familiar with. See, while Alex Jones allows himself to be pulled in by the confusion of Alicia Hixx I can see John Blade for what he is. Several words come to mind when I see this individual. ‘Fetal Alcohol Syndrome’ are the first three if I am being totally honest but ‘futility’ would definitely be the fourth.” Martin says.
“Futility abounds in New Generation Wrestling. It drips off of every word Johnny Maverick says. I saw it in the eyes of Trixie before she decided to manipulate the rules to best me. You can see it in every ‘tweet’ where Kayla Richards is forced by her boyfriend to inform everyone that he has large genitals. You see it in every single Guardian as they attempt to bring good to an industry that is inherently driven by greed and arrogance but John Blade? He exists in a microcosm where futility is law. The reality he inhabits is not one we share save for the few moments he appears in an NGW ring. I am not one for conspiracy but oftentimes I catch myself wondering if the existence of John Blade is some sort of mass hallucination. Richard Kelly is a very articulate and educated man. How is it that he devolves into broken English in the presence of John Blade? How has Mr. Blade convinced Richard to interview him at the arena two days prior to the event? What is John Blade doing at the arena for two days when he heads to the ‘locker room’ that is in fact clearly labeled as a Janitors closet? To seek the answers to these questions is an exercise in futility. If I were to more closely analyze any one aspect of this backstage promo it is likely I would nearly succumb to insanity as it seems Alex Jones has.” Martin says. He clears his throat slightly. Taking a small sip of water from a glass on his podium.
“The true exercise in futility will be performed by Mr. Blade as he attempts to defeat me. He will do no such thing and my reputation will be none the better for it. That is the futility that I must deal with. I’m sure I will cope, so long as Devlin Scott learns not to waste my time. It would be a shame if I needed to teach him.” Martin says. He sets the glass of water down.
“So please pay attention once the bell rings, all of you future worshippers of the Allfather. Take heed and focus for the destruction of John Blade? That is my Sermon.” Martin says. He bows his head before walking offscreen.