Post by Josh Kennedy on Nov 27, 2017 7:35:29 GMT -5
24th November 2017
Sakura, Chiba Prefecture
Japan
"Eternal happiness clapped in irons. Eternal happiness, mighty strikes.
Break their bands asunder." - Full of Hell ("Trumpeting Ecstasy")
"There's somethin' so universal about mythology..."
Josh observes, a pensive look on his face. He stands on the balcony of a modest apartment, a minimal and modern artifice behind him as he looks out across the tranquil street below. It's late at night, and as Josh paces around, he's seen to be hobbling slightly, a remnant of his battles from the past week. The fights had been arduous, painful, and challenging, but he was now the Number One Contender for the CWC World Championship, having survived his leg of an 81-person gauntlet match. But only just. It was clear from how he was carrying himself that he was still aching pretty badly. The moon shines brightly in the clear sky, the eerie glow of its light casting itself over Josh's pale skin, illuminating him strangely.
"People tell me I'm a difficult man to understand at the best of times. I don't see it, but I suppose that's a good thing. If people understand my way of thinking, that means they're going through the same thing as me, and honestly, that ain't somethin' I'd wish on my worst enemy." He says, his gentle chuckling undercut with a grimace as he clutches his ribs.
"I guess at my core, I'm just a man at conflict with himself to an extreme. That's a universal struggle, ain't it? That's somethin' everyone's felt, or will feel at some point... right?" An uncertainty enters his voice, almost as though he's trying to test his own belief in this statement.
"I think humanity is dualistic by nature. I know I am, at least. I've got this burning, violent fire raging inside me, the same one that pushed me into this industry. I think I was always gonna be a fighter of some kind, not by destiny or some grandiose bullshit like that, but just by nature. It's inside me inherently, and I had to express it somehow. When I was in high-school, I didn't really know what the fuck it was. It was just this... blind fury. I used to seek out fights. I'd fight the bullies. Not outta some moralistic sense of justice. Not to be the avenger of the downtrodden, but because I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it after. Because I always had to fight. Even when I had nothin' to fight for."
"But anyone who knows anything about me would know there's more to me than just that fire. One hell of a lot more. I got caring in me. I got love in me. I've got dreams in this head of mine. And so goddamn many in this business are afraid to show that side of themselves because it's perceived as weakness. I'm not afraid to say it, I'm not afraid to show it. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve, because without that, what am I? Just another fuckin' warrior. But that's not the full sum of me. I'd rather bear myself in every kind of light, show my scars earnestly than have to try and suppress who I am."
The real proof of that would have laid just beyond the curtain that covered the sliding glass door, as Cass Baumer slept peacefully in the bed just behind him.
"But I guess that's what causes the conflict, too. How do you rationalise being both of these things at the same time without driving yourself insane? Acknowledging two equally true parts of yourself that directly contradict one another? How do these fragments coalesce into a cohesive whole? Truth is, I got no fuckin' idea. If somebody has an answer, I'd love to hear it." While his tone of voice makes clear that this statement is meant to be playful in its grimness, tongue-in-cheek, there's a certain look of agitation in his bloodshot eyes.
Josh sighs momentarily and lets the silence hang for a while as he leans over the railings on the balcony and looks out at the quiet, Japanese suburb surrounding him. Most of the houses on the horizon have their lights off at this hour. The only artificial lights originating from the center of the city of Sakura, which can barely be seen save for a gentle glow in the distance. A car's headlights become visible on the street below, but as the vehicle tears past Josh's apartment, even the sound of the engine's growl seems more subdued in this peaceful setting.
"So, with all that being said, let me tell y'all a story."
"King Sisyphus was an arrogant man, the kind who manipulated and cheated his way to whatever he wanted. He had innocents killed to keep his tight grip on his kingdom. He tried to seduce his own niece in order to dethrone his brother with their children. And he spat in the face of the gods, betrayed secrets of Zeus and broke his rules. I mean, to put it simply, the man thought himself greater than any god. When it was his time to die, he even cheated Thanatos, chaining him up in Tartarus, and putting death itself on hold in the process. It took Ares comin' down from Olympus to free Thanatos from his shackles for humans to be allowed to die again."
"So, just in case it bears repeating, dude was a real self-important asshole. When Sisyphus finally died, the gods punished him by giving him a singular task. To roll a boulder up a mountain for all eternity. Every time he reaches the top of the mountain, the boulder would roll all the way back down again, and he'd have to start over.
"Now, I tell that story not to draw parallels to a particular person. Although that's there, I think I should save it for a day that it's relevant. For the time being, let's stick to his task. Because I think, like I said, there's somethin' universal about it. The task of Sisyphus has a load of interpretations, and I think you can frame almost anything about our daily lives in this in some way. A bunch of men far more intelligent than me spent years writing pieces on what they think it's about. Maybe it's a lesson on the search for power being ultimately meaningless and hollow. Maybe it's a symbol for mankind's struggle for knowledge. But if you ask me, it's a representation of life itself. On whatever level you want to look at it, I think it's there to see. It's in me, in my perpetual striving for somethin' better. It's in those who seek power. It's in those who seek knowledge and understanding. It's in the futility of repeating cycles in life. The hollowness of routine. Look at it however you want, I bet there's somethin' in there you can relate to yourself with it. We all have ups and downs. There's always good days and bad days. There are days where we feel like we're accomplishing everything we've ever wanted, we've reached some kinda fulfilment. And then there are the days where it all comes crashin' back down again and you lose everything you ever fought for. And right now, most importantly, it's in Coda."
"Funny, ain't it? She's almost at the top of her mountain, standin' there with her boulder, screaming down for someone to come up to her and knock her all the way back down again. A woman unsatisfied with the hollowness of her success that she actively seeks her own defeat. Requests somebody 'worthy' of defeating her. She considers me worthy now. But would that change if I lost? As though somebody who's failed before could never try once more and succeed? As though the cycle's always an even keel, that the pinnacle of where we can roll that boulder to is the same each and every time. And I've gotta say, I firmly disagree. I think I prove that. The heights I reach vary, but the effort I exert in getting there never does. I always give everything I can, but that doesn't always get me to the same place it did the time before."
"Now, don't get me wrong, I have a huge amount of respect for Coda. She's been a great champion. A dominant champion. And for my money, the best in this new era of NGW. But I've said it before, and no doubt I'll find myself sayin' it again. But I wanted to make a wider point. Yeah, Coda's gonna give me one hell of a fight. Yeah, I'm on the verge of success in all of my respective companies. I'm number one contender to a world championship again outside of NGW, I'm close to contendership for the Southern Heavyweight Championship in Red State Revolver. But first and foremost in this context, I'm number one contender to the Young Lions Championship here and now. Because for all I could continue to harp on my past successes. I ain't here to rest on my laurels. I'm here to defeat Coda. I'm here to prove myself within the realms of NGW for as long as I'm in NGW, and nothin' more than that. I came here for that very reason, to be judged on my own merits. To be considered worthy of whatever I get for myself with no consideration for past accomplishments. I'll never demand anything, I'll just go out there, do my work, and fuckin' earn whatever I get. Just as I always have, just as I always will."
"Right now, I'm confident in my chances. I'm confident in myself. I know I can beat Coda, and I'll leave everything I have in that ring to do it. But I ain't a fool neither, she's been this accomplished for a reason. She's incredibly talented, and there's just as much chance of her retaining as there is of me walking away Young Lions Champion."
"I crashed and burned hard when I first arrived here. Real hard. I fucked up on every level. I lost constantly, and I took it poorly. I put the very worst side of myself on display. And now, I've redeemed myself. Almost. Me and my boulder have almost reached the pinnacle too. I took a fall, but I worked my way back up. I made the most of my opportunity here. So, what's left for me to do? I either fail like everyone else and have to work my way back up again, just like I always have. Or I win, and I keep pushing. Because, as futile as it might seem, I firmly believe one other thing about that myth."
Josh moves again, reaching for a paperback book. 'The Myth of Sisyphus' by Albert Camus. He opens it up on the final two lines of the essay, quoting them directly.
"The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."
With a warm smile on his face, Josh snaps the book shut.
"I'll do whatever it takes."
Sakura, Chiba Prefecture
Japan
"Eternal happiness clapped in irons. Eternal happiness, mighty strikes.
Break their bands asunder." - Full of Hell ("Trumpeting Ecstasy")
"There's somethin' so universal about mythology..."
Josh observes, a pensive look on his face. He stands on the balcony of a modest apartment, a minimal and modern artifice behind him as he looks out across the tranquil street below. It's late at night, and as Josh paces around, he's seen to be hobbling slightly, a remnant of his battles from the past week. The fights had been arduous, painful, and challenging, but he was now the Number One Contender for the CWC World Championship, having survived his leg of an 81-person gauntlet match. But only just. It was clear from how he was carrying himself that he was still aching pretty badly. The moon shines brightly in the clear sky, the eerie glow of its light casting itself over Josh's pale skin, illuminating him strangely.
"People tell me I'm a difficult man to understand at the best of times. I don't see it, but I suppose that's a good thing. If people understand my way of thinking, that means they're going through the same thing as me, and honestly, that ain't somethin' I'd wish on my worst enemy." He says, his gentle chuckling undercut with a grimace as he clutches his ribs.
"I guess at my core, I'm just a man at conflict with himself to an extreme. That's a universal struggle, ain't it? That's somethin' everyone's felt, or will feel at some point... right?" An uncertainty enters his voice, almost as though he's trying to test his own belief in this statement.
"I think humanity is dualistic by nature. I know I am, at least. I've got this burning, violent fire raging inside me, the same one that pushed me into this industry. I think I was always gonna be a fighter of some kind, not by destiny or some grandiose bullshit like that, but just by nature. It's inside me inherently, and I had to express it somehow. When I was in high-school, I didn't really know what the fuck it was. It was just this... blind fury. I used to seek out fights. I'd fight the bullies. Not outta some moralistic sense of justice. Not to be the avenger of the downtrodden, but because I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it after. Because I always had to fight. Even when I had nothin' to fight for."
"But anyone who knows anything about me would know there's more to me than just that fire. One hell of a lot more. I got caring in me. I got love in me. I've got dreams in this head of mine. And so goddamn many in this business are afraid to show that side of themselves because it's perceived as weakness. I'm not afraid to say it, I'm not afraid to show it. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve, because without that, what am I? Just another fuckin' warrior. But that's not the full sum of me. I'd rather bear myself in every kind of light, show my scars earnestly than have to try and suppress who I am."
The real proof of that would have laid just beyond the curtain that covered the sliding glass door, as Cass Baumer slept peacefully in the bed just behind him.
"But I guess that's what causes the conflict, too. How do you rationalise being both of these things at the same time without driving yourself insane? Acknowledging two equally true parts of yourself that directly contradict one another? How do these fragments coalesce into a cohesive whole? Truth is, I got no fuckin' idea. If somebody has an answer, I'd love to hear it." While his tone of voice makes clear that this statement is meant to be playful in its grimness, tongue-in-cheek, there's a certain look of agitation in his bloodshot eyes.
Josh sighs momentarily and lets the silence hang for a while as he leans over the railings on the balcony and looks out at the quiet, Japanese suburb surrounding him. Most of the houses on the horizon have their lights off at this hour. The only artificial lights originating from the center of the city of Sakura, which can barely be seen save for a gentle glow in the distance. A car's headlights become visible on the street below, but as the vehicle tears past Josh's apartment, even the sound of the engine's growl seems more subdued in this peaceful setting.
"So, with all that being said, let me tell y'all a story."
"King Sisyphus was an arrogant man, the kind who manipulated and cheated his way to whatever he wanted. He had innocents killed to keep his tight grip on his kingdom. He tried to seduce his own niece in order to dethrone his brother with their children. And he spat in the face of the gods, betrayed secrets of Zeus and broke his rules. I mean, to put it simply, the man thought himself greater than any god. When it was his time to die, he even cheated Thanatos, chaining him up in Tartarus, and putting death itself on hold in the process. It took Ares comin' down from Olympus to free Thanatos from his shackles for humans to be allowed to die again."
"So, just in case it bears repeating, dude was a real self-important asshole. When Sisyphus finally died, the gods punished him by giving him a singular task. To roll a boulder up a mountain for all eternity. Every time he reaches the top of the mountain, the boulder would roll all the way back down again, and he'd have to start over.
"Now, I tell that story not to draw parallels to a particular person. Although that's there, I think I should save it for a day that it's relevant. For the time being, let's stick to his task. Because I think, like I said, there's somethin' universal about it. The task of Sisyphus has a load of interpretations, and I think you can frame almost anything about our daily lives in this in some way. A bunch of men far more intelligent than me spent years writing pieces on what they think it's about. Maybe it's a lesson on the search for power being ultimately meaningless and hollow. Maybe it's a symbol for mankind's struggle for knowledge. But if you ask me, it's a representation of life itself. On whatever level you want to look at it, I think it's there to see. It's in me, in my perpetual striving for somethin' better. It's in those who seek power. It's in those who seek knowledge and understanding. It's in the futility of repeating cycles in life. The hollowness of routine. Look at it however you want, I bet there's somethin' in there you can relate to yourself with it. We all have ups and downs. There's always good days and bad days. There are days where we feel like we're accomplishing everything we've ever wanted, we've reached some kinda fulfilment. And then there are the days where it all comes crashin' back down again and you lose everything you ever fought for. And right now, most importantly, it's in Coda."
"Funny, ain't it? She's almost at the top of her mountain, standin' there with her boulder, screaming down for someone to come up to her and knock her all the way back down again. A woman unsatisfied with the hollowness of her success that she actively seeks her own defeat. Requests somebody 'worthy' of defeating her. She considers me worthy now. But would that change if I lost? As though somebody who's failed before could never try once more and succeed? As though the cycle's always an even keel, that the pinnacle of where we can roll that boulder to is the same each and every time. And I've gotta say, I firmly disagree. I think I prove that. The heights I reach vary, but the effort I exert in getting there never does. I always give everything I can, but that doesn't always get me to the same place it did the time before."
"Now, don't get me wrong, I have a huge amount of respect for Coda. She's been a great champion. A dominant champion. And for my money, the best in this new era of NGW. But I've said it before, and no doubt I'll find myself sayin' it again. But I wanted to make a wider point. Yeah, Coda's gonna give me one hell of a fight. Yeah, I'm on the verge of success in all of my respective companies. I'm number one contender to a world championship again outside of NGW, I'm close to contendership for the Southern Heavyweight Championship in Red State Revolver. But first and foremost in this context, I'm number one contender to the Young Lions Championship here and now. Because for all I could continue to harp on my past successes. I ain't here to rest on my laurels. I'm here to defeat Coda. I'm here to prove myself within the realms of NGW for as long as I'm in NGW, and nothin' more than that. I came here for that very reason, to be judged on my own merits. To be considered worthy of whatever I get for myself with no consideration for past accomplishments. I'll never demand anything, I'll just go out there, do my work, and fuckin' earn whatever I get. Just as I always have, just as I always will."
"Right now, I'm confident in my chances. I'm confident in myself. I know I can beat Coda, and I'll leave everything I have in that ring to do it. But I ain't a fool neither, she's been this accomplished for a reason. She's incredibly talented, and there's just as much chance of her retaining as there is of me walking away Young Lions Champion."
"I crashed and burned hard when I first arrived here. Real hard. I fucked up on every level. I lost constantly, and I took it poorly. I put the very worst side of myself on display. And now, I've redeemed myself. Almost. Me and my boulder have almost reached the pinnacle too. I took a fall, but I worked my way back up. I made the most of my opportunity here. So, what's left for me to do? I either fail like everyone else and have to work my way back up again, just like I always have. Or I win, and I keep pushing. Because, as futile as it might seem, I firmly believe one other thing about that myth."
Josh moves again, reaching for a paperback book. 'The Myth of Sisyphus' by Albert Camus. He opens it up on the final two lines of the essay, quoting them directly.
"The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."
With a warm smile on his face, Josh snaps the book shut.
"I'll do whatever it takes."
