Post by Jazmyn Rain on Nov 26, 2017 22:04:10 GMT -5
“The Gateway”
Opening Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: That moment when you finally put the last of some old ghosts to bed. It became quite clear to me that after all of the celebratory happy times that rained upon me when I regained the GCW Global Championship that when I got to St. Louis, things would be right back to business again. After all, that was the city where the most heartbreaking moment of my career took place. So, it meant the world to me to return to that very city with the championship back with me to finally, at long last, come to terms and internal peace with the events of that night.
Walking back into St. Louis with the championship felt like I was walking into a time capsule. I could remember the moment I touched down in the city 20 months ago ready to fight at that point, the biggest match of my career. I remember how tense, how nervous and how “out of whack” I was since I was nowhere near as confident as I have grown ever since. Most of all, for obvious reasons, I remember leaving the city without the championship and swearing on my life I would never come back.
Well, I have. This is the third time to be exact, but the first time that I came back here on my own volition without either one of the companies I compete for scheduling me to come here. It was a surreal experience, there’s no doubt about that, but it was an experience that was worth having because I got the ultimate reminder of how strong I have really come. However, there’s another side of the coin that I’ve been ignoring, and it’s something I didn’t realize it until the autograph session ceased, the cameras stopped flashing and the publicity came to an end.
The critics, or rather, a new perspective as far as they are concerned. Going into Resurgence, I had no idea of the one final lesson of this twenty month odyssey that I was about to learn to wrap up what was a glorious day.
Date: November 22, 2017
Jazmyn and Camryn are spending some more quality time together in St. Louis after their adventures for the day came to an end. They’re at the pool of the hotel that they’re staying at, but obviously with the time of the year that it is, they’re not even close to the water as they’re sitting by the gate, taking in a calm and relaxing atmosphere. Jazmyn has a smile on her face, more or less glad that she’s finally having a positive experience in the city considering the past that she has with it. At this point, she’s starting to think about Thanksgiving the next day, back home in Charlotte. There’s a calm, quiet aura in the air, that is, until Camryn breaks the ice.
Camryn: Today really taught me something.
Jazmyn curiously looks back at her friend.
Jazmyn: Yeah?
Camryn: It taught me just how much I missed while we were apart. You really have come such a long way, Jaz… from such tragic events that you experienced while you were here 20 months ago. You have no idea how long I was waiting for you to be as happy as you are now. If anyone deserves that, it’s you. I’ve wanted this bliss for you ever since college and really, this is about five and a half years too late considering your first world championship should have happened in D.C., but better late than never.
Jazmyn nods, understanding what Camryn is saying.
Jazmyn: Like I said before, things happened for the reasons that they did.
Camryn: Right. Let me fill you in on my perspective of that heartbreaking night for you.
Jazmyn: Oh?
Camryn: When it happened… when Jefferson and Myra fucked you over leading to Trenton winning the championship, I have to be honest, I was sick… literally sick. I was so upset and so saddened by what happened I vomited and developed a fever. I’ve never felt such empathy before, and I haven’t since. I remember thinking to myself how completely unfair it was, that you had to suffer that. I even cried for you, that’s how horrible I felt. Like I really sat there wondering if you’d EVER be happy because I know much of the pains and the burdens you’ve been through over the years and I’ve had a front row seat through some of it. But that night hurt me nearly as much as it did you.
Jazmyn develops a sympathetic look on her eyes, wanting to do everything to comfort her friend. But she realizes that there’s still more to be told, so she remains quiet.
Camryn: Maybe I should have made an effort to reach out to you that day, but I feared for the worst. I thought you were going to lose yourself again but gosh, you really came all the way back didn’t you? So, when I saw you win that Global Championship back in Los Angeles, it felt like everything was right with the world. I knew that whatever pain you had been dealing with stemming from 20 months ago, it was all but gone. Experiencing this day with you is something I’m never going to forget because it’s the first time I ever got to see you THIS happy for an extended period of time.
Jazmyn: Thanks again, Cammie. Really. Coming from you, that really means so much and I had no idea that the experience hurt you too. But, I don’t feel hurt anymore. After everything that’s happened, and after all the positive experiences I’ve had lately, how could I? Winning the championship again then coming here, I’m at a loss for words. I’m over it, finally. One hundred percent over it! All those hurtful words finally mean nothing!
Camryn: Jaz, did those hurtful words from a handful of critics EVER mean anything?
Jazmyn gives Camryn a look of confusion.
Camryn: Actually, a better question. SHOULD those hurtful words have EVER meant anything? I know you had to quiet so much criticism and nonsense over these last twenty months but you and I both know that this is never going to stop.
Jazmyn: It’s not the way things were anymore. Unlike last time, people aren’t going to be questioning whether I deserve to be a champion just because I got too emotional in one tweet.
Camryn: But should you have ever worried about it at all? And if so, why didn’t you confront it?
Jazmyn: What?
Camryn: Look, what happened to you here sucked. But everything leading up to it… it bothered you to the point where you let it wreck your confidence and even you would admit that.
Jazmyn nods.
Jazmyn: Yeah, you’re absolutely right.
Camryn: All I am saying Jaz, is that now that you’ve got the title back, you’ve opened the gateway to both great things and awful things. The greatness of it comes from the fact that your golden age in this business is just beginning and I wholeheartedly believe it to be the case. But the awful part of it, and here’s where I’m concerned, is that the bigger of a star you become, the louder those negative voices are going to be. All it takes from you is one big screw up and you’ve got your worst enemies shoving criticism down your throat. Again. You don’t want that. I don’t want that.
Jazmyn: Maybe if I confronted those critics and those negative voices head on, perhaps I would have won here 20 months ago instead of falling victim to what was essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Camryn: Bingo. Jaz, I know you want to be diplomatic, but there has to come a point where you address and take on these negative critics head on. You’re a sweetheart… a habit like that isn’t ingrained into your DNA… but sometimes you have to tell it like it is and not worry so much about the perception of you from other people. Not everyone is going to like you, though you already know that part, obviously.
Jazmyn: So are you saying that now is one of those times where I take on the negativity?
Camryn nods.
Jazmyn: It’s risky…
Camryn: So is doing a Phoenix Splash from the top of the chamber pod during that Global title match that won you back the title, but I’d say it’s worked out great for you, hasn’t it?
Jazmyn: Right.
Camryn: You’ve proven that you’ve let what you can do in that ring do all the talking for you. But you need to let everyone know where you stand. There are times to remain quiet, and there are times to speak up.
Jazmyn: Like when?
Camryn: Well, did your predecessor as GCW Global Champion ever acknowledge or mention you or the events of you taking the title from her?
Jazmyn: No…
Jazmyn sighs.
Jazmyn: And I admit that it bothers me a little. I don’t need her to praise me, but gosh, it’s like I don’t even exist to her.
Camryn: There you go! Speak your mind about that. What’s the worst that can happen? And hey, kudos to you for being able to take the positives out of your recent encounter with Matt Shields, but don’t those events bother you even a little bit?
Jazmyn: I’m trying not to let it get to me though. I DID stand on my own power after all.
Camryn: But if you say nothing about it, it makes you look like a pushover and they’ll do the same thing to you again because they think you’re passive.
Jazmyn: I am NOT passive! Darn it, I’m ASSERTIVE!
Camryn: Then prove it! I know if there’s one thing that is still bothering you, it’s the way your critics treat you. Stand up to them and let them know that Jazmyn Rain isn’t a pushover! Now, more than ever, is the best time for that.
Jazmyn: Yeah… maybe I SHOULD. I’m going to step through that gateway. There are some things that I have been waiting to say for a long time and you know what, I think I’m going to do that. I’m not that same scared person that came here 20 months ago and got a title robbed from her. I can afford to be a little bolder I think, but I’m not going to sell out what I know I am at heart.
Camryn: Good! You don’t need to. Do you see how assertiveness could have prevented what happened to you 20 months ago?
Jazmyn nods.
Jazmyn: You bet. But, of course, I wouldn’t change anything for the world. Thanks, Cammie.
Camryn: I’m so glad I could help in some way.
Jazmyn smiles, realizing that everything Camryn told her on this night was invaluable. Jazmyn Rain has always been someone that has taken much to heart, and that does include the words of her own critics. But, with Resurgence looming and a new, golden age of her career about to blossom, the GCW Global Champion and perhaps future NGW Five Lakes Champion knows that she’s got to take the bull by the horns without any fear or trepidation: a task that she already knows won’t be difficult.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: For a long stretch of both my life and career, I was always seen as the pushover that was never going to amount to anything. Even during my “Guardian Angel” journey, I’ve STILL felt the heat from the critics, some words and some critics more hurtful than others. That’s how I’m wired. I’m always going to be more sensitive to the negatives that are said about me, I admit that, but going forward I am going to do everything it takes to suppress that weakness of mine. I know some will think that Trixie is going to beat me due to her aggressive nature and her ability to tune out the negative, which is admittedly better than mine in the same regard. But, starting with Resurgence, I’m going to become better at it myself.
Look out world…
Jazmyn Rain is coming!
Opening Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: That moment when you finally put the last of some old ghosts to bed. It became quite clear to me that after all of the celebratory happy times that rained upon me when I regained the GCW Global Championship that when I got to St. Louis, things would be right back to business again. After all, that was the city where the most heartbreaking moment of my career took place. So, it meant the world to me to return to that very city with the championship back with me to finally, at long last, come to terms and internal peace with the events of that night.
Walking back into St. Louis with the championship felt like I was walking into a time capsule. I could remember the moment I touched down in the city 20 months ago ready to fight at that point, the biggest match of my career. I remember how tense, how nervous and how “out of whack” I was since I was nowhere near as confident as I have grown ever since. Most of all, for obvious reasons, I remember leaving the city without the championship and swearing on my life I would never come back.
Well, I have. This is the third time to be exact, but the first time that I came back here on my own volition without either one of the companies I compete for scheduling me to come here. It was a surreal experience, there’s no doubt about that, but it was an experience that was worth having because I got the ultimate reminder of how strong I have really come. However, there’s another side of the coin that I’ve been ignoring, and it’s something I didn’t realize it until the autograph session ceased, the cameras stopped flashing and the publicity came to an end.
The critics, or rather, a new perspective as far as they are concerned. Going into Resurgence, I had no idea of the one final lesson of this twenty month odyssey that I was about to learn to wrap up what was a glorious day.
Date: November 22, 2017
Jazmyn and Camryn are spending some more quality time together in St. Louis after their adventures for the day came to an end. They’re at the pool of the hotel that they’re staying at, but obviously with the time of the year that it is, they’re not even close to the water as they’re sitting by the gate, taking in a calm and relaxing atmosphere. Jazmyn has a smile on her face, more or less glad that she’s finally having a positive experience in the city considering the past that she has with it. At this point, she’s starting to think about Thanksgiving the next day, back home in Charlotte. There’s a calm, quiet aura in the air, that is, until Camryn breaks the ice.
Camryn: Today really taught me something.
Jazmyn curiously looks back at her friend.
Jazmyn: Yeah?
Camryn: It taught me just how much I missed while we were apart. You really have come such a long way, Jaz… from such tragic events that you experienced while you were here 20 months ago. You have no idea how long I was waiting for you to be as happy as you are now. If anyone deserves that, it’s you. I’ve wanted this bliss for you ever since college and really, this is about five and a half years too late considering your first world championship should have happened in D.C., but better late than never.
Jazmyn nods, understanding what Camryn is saying.
Jazmyn: Like I said before, things happened for the reasons that they did.
Camryn: Right. Let me fill you in on my perspective of that heartbreaking night for you.
Jazmyn: Oh?
Camryn: When it happened… when Jefferson and Myra fucked you over leading to Trenton winning the championship, I have to be honest, I was sick… literally sick. I was so upset and so saddened by what happened I vomited and developed a fever. I’ve never felt such empathy before, and I haven’t since. I remember thinking to myself how completely unfair it was, that you had to suffer that. I even cried for you, that’s how horrible I felt. Like I really sat there wondering if you’d EVER be happy because I know much of the pains and the burdens you’ve been through over the years and I’ve had a front row seat through some of it. But that night hurt me nearly as much as it did you.
Jazmyn develops a sympathetic look on her eyes, wanting to do everything to comfort her friend. But she realizes that there’s still more to be told, so she remains quiet.
Camryn: Maybe I should have made an effort to reach out to you that day, but I feared for the worst. I thought you were going to lose yourself again but gosh, you really came all the way back didn’t you? So, when I saw you win that Global Championship back in Los Angeles, it felt like everything was right with the world. I knew that whatever pain you had been dealing with stemming from 20 months ago, it was all but gone. Experiencing this day with you is something I’m never going to forget because it’s the first time I ever got to see you THIS happy for an extended period of time.
Jazmyn: Thanks again, Cammie. Really. Coming from you, that really means so much and I had no idea that the experience hurt you too. But, I don’t feel hurt anymore. After everything that’s happened, and after all the positive experiences I’ve had lately, how could I? Winning the championship again then coming here, I’m at a loss for words. I’m over it, finally. One hundred percent over it! All those hurtful words finally mean nothing!
Camryn: Jaz, did those hurtful words from a handful of critics EVER mean anything?
Jazmyn gives Camryn a look of confusion.
Camryn: Actually, a better question. SHOULD those hurtful words have EVER meant anything? I know you had to quiet so much criticism and nonsense over these last twenty months but you and I both know that this is never going to stop.
Jazmyn: It’s not the way things were anymore. Unlike last time, people aren’t going to be questioning whether I deserve to be a champion just because I got too emotional in one tweet.
Camryn: But should you have ever worried about it at all? And if so, why didn’t you confront it?
Jazmyn: What?
Camryn: Look, what happened to you here sucked. But everything leading up to it… it bothered you to the point where you let it wreck your confidence and even you would admit that.
Jazmyn nods.
Jazmyn: Yeah, you’re absolutely right.
Camryn: All I am saying Jaz, is that now that you’ve got the title back, you’ve opened the gateway to both great things and awful things. The greatness of it comes from the fact that your golden age in this business is just beginning and I wholeheartedly believe it to be the case. But the awful part of it, and here’s where I’m concerned, is that the bigger of a star you become, the louder those negative voices are going to be. All it takes from you is one big screw up and you’ve got your worst enemies shoving criticism down your throat. Again. You don’t want that. I don’t want that.
Jazmyn: Maybe if I confronted those critics and those negative voices head on, perhaps I would have won here 20 months ago instead of falling victim to what was essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Camryn: Bingo. Jaz, I know you want to be diplomatic, but there has to come a point where you address and take on these negative critics head on. You’re a sweetheart… a habit like that isn’t ingrained into your DNA… but sometimes you have to tell it like it is and not worry so much about the perception of you from other people. Not everyone is going to like you, though you already know that part, obviously.
Jazmyn: So are you saying that now is one of those times where I take on the negativity?
Camryn nods.
Jazmyn: It’s risky…
Camryn: So is doing a Phoenix Splash from the top of the chamber pod during that Global title match that won you back the title, but I’d say it’s worked out great for you, hasn’t it?
Jazmyn: Right.
Camryn: You’ve proven that you’ve let what you can do in that ring do all the talking for you. But you need to let everyone know where you stand. There are times to remain quiet, and there are times to speak up.
Jazmyn: Like when?
Camryn: Well, did your predecessor as GCW Global Champion ever acknowledge or mention you or the events of you taking the title from her?
Jazmyn: No…
Jazmyn sighs.
Jazmyn: And I admit that it bothers me a little. I don’t need her to praise me, but gosh, it’s like I don’t even exist to her.
Camryn: There you go! Speak your mind about that. What’s the worst that can happen? And hey, kudos to you for being able to take the positives out of your recent encounter with Matt Shields, but don’t those events bother you even a little bit?
Jazmyn: I’m trying not to let it get to me though. I DID stand on my own power after all.
Camryn: But if you say nothing about it, it makes you look like a pushover and they’ll do the same thing to you again because they think you’re passive.
Jazmyn: I am NOT passive! Darn it, I’m ASSERTIVE!
Camryn: Then prove it! I know if there’s one thing that is still bothering you, it’s the way your critics treat you. Stand up to them and let them know that Jazmyn Rain isn’t a pushover! Now, more than ever, is the best time for that.
Jazmyn: Yeah… maybe I SHOULD. I’m going to step through that gateway. There are some things that I have been waiting to say for a long time and you know what, I think I’m going to do that. I’m not that same scared person that came here 20 months ago and got a title robbed from her. I can afford to be a little bolder I think, but I’m not going to sell out what I know I am at heart.
Camryn: Good! You don’t need to. Do you see how assertiveness could have prevented what happened to you 20 months ago?
Jazmyn nods.
Jazmyn: You bet. But, of course, I wouldn’t change anything for the world. Thanks, Cammie.
Camryn: I’m so glad I could help in some way.
Jazmyn smiles, realizing that everything Camryn told her on this night was invaluable. Jazmyn Rain has always been someone that has taken much to heart, and that does include the words of her own critics. But, with Resurgence looming and a new, golden age of her career about to blossom, the GCW Global Champion and perhaps future NGW Five Lakes Champion knows that she’s got to take the bull by the horns without any fear or trepidation: a task that she already knows won’t be difficult.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: For a long stretch of both my life and career, I was always seen as the pushover that was never going to amount to anything. Even during my “Guardian Angel” journey, I’ve STILL felt the heat from the critics, some words and some critics more hurtful than others. That’s how I’m wired. I’m always going to be more sensitive to the negatives that are said about me, I admit that, but going forward I am going to do everything it takes to suppress that weakness of mine. I know some will think that Trixie is going to beat me due to her aggressive nature and her ability to tune out the negative, which is admittedly better than mine in the same regard. But, starting with Resurgence, I’m going to become better at it myself.
Look out world…
Jazmyn Rain is coming!
