Post by Julianna DiMaria on Nov 4, 2017 15:42:47 GMT -5
“Pain”
Date: November 4, 2017
WCG West Coast Champion Julianna DiMaria isn’t in the greatest mood still, but she’s at the very least indicating that she’s in a better one than she’s been lately as she sits on a crate in the hallway of a mostly empty arena a few hours before showtime. She’s got the championship across her lap as she continues to think of much of the words she’s read and heard over the last few days, some good, some bad. After ruminating for a minute or two, Julianna takes a deep breath and even has a laugh to herself before she speaks her mind for the final time in regards to the street fight that she has coming up later today.
Julianna DiMaria: So I hear that Alechs Aurelio has gone a little “emo” lately. I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s something in this environment I swear to god, that makes people think with something else other than their brains. For instance: you say one bad word about Ruby, and Scotty Latimer gets overprotective and acts like it’s the end of the world. For fuck’s sake, settle down Ash Scion. Now, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge some recent emotional issues of my own, but in Alech’s case… WOW! You want to actually give it all up over someone that’s not even worth it? You’re going to quit on Honey? You’re going to quit on your friends in the Guardians? You’re going to quit on NGW? WOW! Just wow! And why? Because of relationship problems? Are you fucking kidding me? Okay yeah, I’ve acted out. I’ve had my battles of doubt, but at least my recent ventings over my win-loss record are, you know, actually wrestling related. You sit there Alechs, and you judge me, but you don’t know everything about me. You don’t know the pain I have to deal with in order to get to where I am today and where I know I am going to be in the future.
Try never being good enough for your parents after they keep raising expectations on you again and again, expressing little satisfaction for what you just accomplished. Yeah, that was me as soon as I won the West Coast championship. But, I was able to pull it all together and essentially say “fuck their expectations, I only need to live up to mine” and lately, I haven’t. THAT is painful! Oh sure, people can say “your expectations are too high”, but the fact of the matter is, some of those matches are matches I SHOULD HAVE won but whether it’s a bad break like someone interfering, or YOU deciding to show up out of nowhere and cause a distraction, it just doesn’t happen. Maybe it’s just shit luck? I don’t know. But either way, Alechs, I’ve said it before and I am going to say it again, you are going to be the launching point of my dominance. I will NEVER fall victim to the shit you pulled at Hype, or anything similar to that, ever again. That’s dead, gone and one hundred percent over with. While you wallow in your self-pity, I’m doing my best to try to pull it all together. The likes of Latimer and Danielson have had their last little quip at my expense. You’ve never been the top champion of anything, Alechs, so you wouldn’t know all the pressure of the entire roster gunning for you.
Well, admittedly, being as young as I am, I haven’t mastered it, but STILL…
I’m coming into this match with you tonight, feeling a hell of a lot of pain. My pride and my confidence has taken shot after shot in recent weeks, being on the losing end of these matches again and again. But what if I told you that my own pain didn’t begin with what you did to me last month? What if I told you that it didn’t even start when my parents shrugged off my title win and decided to expect even more out of me? It wasn’t losing to Melina that brought me that pain. It wasn’t my battles with the Messiahs. It wasn’t even losing to Honey in the Super Falcon Cup. My bitterness over that would eventually lead to this match, but still… none of those things, Alechs, are what started this pain… ALL this pain… that I am going to unleash on you.
I’ll give you a hint with a few questions: do you know what it feels like to lose to someone that you know deep in your heart and soul you are better than? Do you realize the ANGUISH of knowing you lost to someone that you know in your gut, you’d beat at least seven out of ten times? Have you ever experienced such a rock bottom moment? If you haven’t, trust me, tonight WILL be that moment. But as far as everything else is concerned…
Julianna pauses, glaring at the camera with a scorned gleam in her eyes, looking slightly conflicted.
Julianna: I debated even MENTIONING this on camera, but then I realized that if I opened up about it I’d be a stronger person and a better wrestler out of it. But everything else? That’s the All Female Invitational in a nutshell for me.
She pauses again, thinking about her experience in NGW’s tournament a couple of months ago. She sighs, hinting at how much the experience is still a pain to her all this time later.
Julianna: There I was, going through the tournament quite nicely. Tegan Blackwell was no match for me and she thought I’d be easy pickings, acting like she had me beat and then when I beat her, she went completely silent. Ashley Marie Chase thought she was too good to even mention me at all, and there I was, beating her. I had it in plain sight, Alechs. I was envisioning a trip to the quarterfinals against Merlot Ayano and then…. Then… it was all taken from me, by a Cinderella story. Someone who happened to be in the right place at the right time. I’ve never felt so… so… ROBBED. It was the most gutting feeling of my career to date, knowing that I lost to someone like THAT, at least two leagues below me. And ever since then, I’ve been wrestling with anger and hatred in my heart which… well, maybe it’s cost me a match or two.... That’s up for debate. But I will admit that I haven’t been at 100% confidence ever since, what I would honestly call at this point in my young career, the worst experience I’ve ever had in professional wrestling.
Obviously, you know that at one point with everything that happened, I had once even contemplating being done with everything had I lost to you.
Going forward, I’ll be healing… finally. But I know I can’t ever fully heal from that until I face that worthless waste of skin and bones and dominate her the way I should have the first time around. But that’s another story, Alechs. Even with your little pity party, you clearly had an advantage over me still. There’s very little doubt from the “opinion factory” that you are going to win tonight and avenge your slut. You may have “failed Honey” and maybe that’s painful, but there is nothing more painful then failing yourself like I did that night. Does that answer some questions for you, Alechs, and anyone else that may be watching this? All of that pain I’ve harbored since then, I’ve realized it’s unhealthy to hold so much of it. Instead of letting it anchor me, I am going to unleash it all on YOU. And once I give you the going away party you so richly deserve, I will honestly say that I will never look back. I will face the AFI runner up again and I WILL beat her, I WILL become the most dominant WCG West Coast champion this company will ever have and I swear to god, I am NEVER… EVER going to be a “five hundred wrestler” again after I’m done with you.
Julianna pauses once again, taking a deep breath or two to sully her demeanor before it gets out of hand from addressing some of her own in-ring psychological demons that she just admitted are plaguing her at the moment.
Julianna DiMaria: Heed my warning, Alechs and this goes for everyone too… I will NEVER…. EVER allow “youth and inexperience” to weigh me down AGAIN. I’ve had ENOUGH of this! Tonight, I am going to prove that I am better than what a fucking number indicates. I REFUSE to pull a Caroline O’Hara Burchill and completely fall apart over one loss the way she did when she was putting herself on camera before her match with Jazmyn Rain and calling herself a worthless piece of shit after she lost the New Generation title and then ultimately wrestling like one until she thankfully got released from NGW. I am NOT Caroline. I am NOT going to fade away. Tonight, Alechs, when you feel my pain and when you ultimately succumb to it when it’s all said and done, it will be the end of this “mediocrity” curse that my “youth and inexperience” has placed on me and the start of the dynastic dominance that I truly deserve. Think I’m playing? Just remember that with my back up against the wall, whether it’s facing Tillman, whether it was my last chance at the West Coast title at Rise had I lost, or whether it’s this match, I’ve shown a knack for pulling through.
Well tonight, my back IS against the wall.
And tonight? I WILL pull through…. AGAIN!
And the best part? Since you alienated all of your friends?
NOBODY will save you from the going-away party I have planned for you… a party that includes… well… ambulances… stretchers… you get the point.
Tonight, you’re going…. OFFLINE… with a downfall so big that not even AOL can top it!
Julianna laughs at the obvious joke slash analogy that she just made, clearly focused and determined to break through her struggles and get a huge win over one fourths of the Guardian as she decides to shut off the camera at that point.
Date: November 4, 2017
WCG West Coast Champion Julianna DiMaria isn’t in the greatest mood still, but she’s at the very least indicating that she’s in a better one than she’s been lately as she sits on a crate in the hallway of a mostly empty arena a few hours before showtime. She’s got the championship across her lap as she continues to think of much of the words she’s read and heard over the last few days, some good, some bad. After ruminating for a minute or two, Julianna takes a deep breath and even has a laugh to herself before she speaks her mind for the final time in regards to the street fight that she has coming up later today.
Julianna DiMaria: So I hear that Alechs Aurelio has gone a little “emo” lately. I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s something in this environment I swear to god, that makes people think with something else other than their brains. For instance: you say one bad word about Ruby, and Scotty Latimer gets overprotective and acts like it’s the end of the world. For fuck’s sake, settle down Ash Scion. Now, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge some recent emotional issues of my own, but in Alech’s case… WOW! You want to actually give it all up over someone that’s not even worth it? You’re going to quit on Honey? You’re going to quit on your friends in the Guardians? You’re going to quit on NGW? WOW! Just wow! And why? Because of relationship problems? Are you fucking kidding me? Okay yeah, I’ve acted out. I’ve had my battles of doubt, but at least my recent ventings over my win-loss record are, you know, actually wrestling related. You sit there Alechs, and you judge me, but you don’t know everything about me. You don’t know the pain I have to deal with in order to get to where I am today and where I know I am going to be in the future.
Try never being good enough for your parents after they keep raising expectations on you again and again, expressing little satisfaction for what you just accomplished. Yeah, that was me as soon as I won the West Coast championship. But, I was able to pull it all together and essentially say “fuck their expectations, I only need to live up to mine” and lately, I haven’t. THAT is painful! Oh sure, people can say “your expectations are too high”, but the fact of the matter is, some of those matches are matches I SHOULD HAVE won but whether it’s a bad break like someone interfering, or YOU deciding to show up out of nowhere and cause a distraction, it just doesn’t happen. Maybe it’s just shit luck? I don’t know. But either way, Alechs, I’ve said it before and I am going to say it again, you are going to be the launching point of my dominance. I will NEVER fall victim to the shit you pulled at Hype, or anything similar to that, ever again. That’s dead, gone and one hundred percent over with. While you wallow in your self-pity, I’m doing my best to try to pull it all together. The likes of Latimer and Danielson have had their last little quip at my expense. You’ve never been the top champion of anything, Alechs, so you wouldn’t know all the pressure of the entire roster gunning for you.
Well, admittedly, being as young as I am, I haven’t mastered it, but STILL…
I’m coming into this match with you tonight, feeling a hell of a lot of pain. My pride and my confidence has taken shot after shot in recent weeks, being on the losing end of these matches again and again. But what if I told you that my own pain didn’t begin with what you did to me last month? What if I told you that it didn’t even start when my parents shrugged off my title win and decided to expect even more out of me? It wasn’t losing to Melina that brought me that pain. It wasn’t my battles with the Messiahs. It wasn’t even losing to Honey in the Super Falcon Cup. My bitterness over that would eventually lead to this match, but still… none of those things, Alechs, are what started this pain… ALL this pain… that I am going to unleash on you.
I’ll give you a hint with a few questions: do you know what it feels like to lose to someone that you know deep in your heart and soul you are better than? Do you realize the ANGUISH of knowing you lost to someone that you know in your gut, you’d beat at least seven out of ten times? Have you ever experienced such a rock bottom moment? If you haven’t, trust me, tonight WILL be that moment. But as far as everything else is concerned…
Julianna pauses, glaring at the camera with a scorned gleam in her eyes, looking slightly conflicted.
Julianna: I debated even MENTIONING this on camera, but then I realized that if I opened up about it I’d be a stronger person and a better wrestler out of it. But everything else? That’s the All Female Invitational in a nutshell for me.
She pauses again, thinking about her experience in NGW’s tournament a couple of months ago. She sighs, hinting at how much the experience is still a pain to her all this time later.
Julianna: There I was, going through the tournament quite nicely. Tegan Blackwell was no match for me and she thought I’d be easy pickings, acting like she had me beat and then when I beat her, she went completely silent. Ashley Marie Chase thought she was too good to even mention me at all, and there I was, beating her. I had it in plain sight, Alechs. I was envisioning a trip to the quarterfinals against Merlot Ayano and then…. Then… it was all taken from me, by a Cinderella story. Someone who happened to be in the right place at the right time. I’ve never felt so… so… ROBBED. It was the most gutting feeling of my career to date, knowing that I lost to someone like THAT, at least two leagues below me. And ever since then, I’ve been wrestling with anger and hatred in my heart which… well, maybe it’s cost me a match or two.... That’s up for debate. But I will admit that I haven’t been at 100% confidence ever since, what I would honestly call at this point in my young career, the worst experience I’ve ever had in professional wrestling.
Obviously, you know that at one point with everything that happened, I had once even contemplating being done with everything had I lost to you.
Going forward, I’ll be healing… finally. But I know I can’t ever fully heal from that until I face that worthless waste of skin and bones and dominate her the way I should have the first time around. But that’s another story, Alechs. Even with your little pity party, you clearly had an advantage over me still. There’s very little doubt from the “opinion factory” that you are going to win tonight and avenge your slut. You may have “failed Honey” and maybe that’s painful, but there is nothing more painful then failing yourself like I did that night. Does that answer some questions for you, Alechs, and anyone else that may be watching this? All of that pain I’ve harbored since then, I’ve realized it’s unhealthy to hold so much of it. Instead of letting it anchor me, I am going to unleash it all on YOU. And once I give you the going away party you so richly deserve, I will honestly say that I will never look back. I will face the AFI runner up again and I WILL beat her, I WILL become the most dominant WCG West Coast champion this company will ever have and I swear to god, I am NEVER… EVER going to be a “five hundred wrestler” again after I’m done with you.
Julianna pauses once again, taking a deep breath or two to sully her demeanor before it gets out of hand from addressing some of her own in-ring psychological demons that she just admitted are plaguing her at the moment.
Julianna DiMaria: Heed my warning, Alechs and this goes for everyone too… I will NEVER…. EVER allow “youth and inexperience” to weigh me down AGAIN. I’ve had ENOUGH of this! Tonight, I am going to prove that I am better than what a fucking number indicates. I REFUSE to pull a Caroline O’Hara Burchill and completely fall apart over one loss the way she did when she was putting herself on camera before her match with Jazmyn Rain and calling herself a worthless piece of shit after she lost the New Generation title and then ultimately wrestling like one until she thankfully got released from NGW. I am NOT Caroline. I am NOT going to fade away. Tonight, Alechs, when you feel my pain and when you ultimately succumb to it when it’s all said and done, it will be the end of this “mediocrity” curse that my “youth and inexperience” has placed on me and the start of the dynastic dominance that I truly deserve. Think I’m playing? Just remember that with my back up against the wall, whether it’s facing Tillman, whether it was my last chance at the West Coast title at Rise had I lost, or whether it’s this match, I’ve shown a knack for pulling through.
Well tonight, my back IS against the wall.
And tonight? I WILL pull through…. AGAIN!
And the best part? Since you alienated all of your friends?
NOBODY will save you from the going-away party I have planned for you… a party that includes… well… ambulances… stretchers… you get the point.
Tonight, you’re going…. OFFLINE… with a downfall so big that not even AOL can top it!
Julianna laughs at the obvious joke slash analogy that she just made, clearly focused and determined to break through her struggles and get a huge win over one fourths of the Guardian as she decides to shut off the camera at that point.