Post by Jazmyn Rain on Oct 29, 2017 21:01:49 GMT -5
Opening Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: I’m often reminded that I need to be far more patient with the way things progress than I typically am and I will be the first to admit to you all that patience isn’t exactly a forte of mine. I’ve been in tougher situations throughout my career, I won’t deny that. But as I’ve said before, I was initially upset about the match that I drew for Dissension in Chicago. I was hoping for some other chance to get that Five Lakes championship shot that I know I would have had if only I had faced Trixie and beat her. But, that’s not the way things turned out. So, essentially, I have to start over in some degree and try to take things one match at a time.
Yeah… I’m not a “one match at a time” person…
I’m the kind of person that sets a long term goal and does everything in her power to make that goal happen as quickly as possible. So, with the events of San Francisco putting me in a precarious spot in NGW, as far as my own inner confidence is concerned, it caused me to reflect back on my brief run so far in this company and when I did, I fell a little further into the rabbit hole when I realized that throughout my first five matches in this company, I haven’t made the waves I’ve wanted to make. I’ve gone on record stating that I don’t feel like I have lived up to my own expectations in NGW at all up to this point.
I haven’t done terrible, I admit that. But I don’t feel like I’ve lit the world on fire either.
I know, coming from someone that has waited damn near 20 months to regain a world championship that was robbed from her and who didn’t even hit the mainstream stage until the age of 26 is surprising, but that’s always the way I’ve been wired. It’s odd being a two-company wrestler, especially when you’re doing so well in one, and you’re still finding your legs in the other. But still, I can’t let that drag me down. I know that sooner rather than later, I’m hoping, I won’t have to be so doubtful and jittery in an NGW ring.
One match at a time? Not my favorite approach, but considering the way things are at the moment, that’s the approach that will work best for right now. Ruby Lance will be the start of me finding my confidence and figuring things out in NGW. The time to be the wrestler that only wins matches against “chumps” or wrestlers that lose to Alicia Hixx has come and gone. It’s time to show you all exactly what Jazmyn Rain is all about at her fullest potential.
Date: October 28, 2017
Time: 11:21 PM
Jazmyn Rain is waiting patiently in the lobby of SeaTac International Airport in Seattle for her flight to Chicago to leave. She’s feeling a little sore, having competed on GCW’s latest edition of Livewire just hours ago, but for the most part, with picking up a win tonight and with coming out of a self-doubting funk due to the events that happened in San Francisco, the former world champion is definitely in brighter spirits again. She’s largely minding her own business, being on the phone while not minding the small handful of patrons that are at the airport at this time. When she goes from a GCW event to an NGW event, she’s typically alone. Though, in this instance, that’s about to change. Jazmyn turns to her right and sees Andrea Hernandez, one of her friends from GCW approach her. Raising her eyebrows in surprise, Jazmyn stands up to greet her. It’s not long before the GCW wrestlers are locking eyes with one another.
Jazmyn: Hey Andrea! What brings you here?
Andrea: I know you’d be here…
Jazmyn: Oh…
Andrea: Let me guess. NGW?
Jazmyn: Yeah, I’ve got to head to Chicago. Overnight flights are a you-know-what. But, that’s part of the grind, you know?
Andrea: Right. I know you’re going through a hard time at the moment.
Andrea expresses a look of concern on her face while Jazmyn sighs, the events of the previous Dissension and how she was robbed of a potential Five Lakes Championship match quickly annoying and burdening her once again.
Jazmyn: Yeah, I know. It’s not easy. Well, I knew that going in.
Andrea: But it’s harder than you thought too, isn’t it? Doesn’t it bother you a bit knowing that GCW and NGW are currently night and day with you doing so great in the former, but not as great as you’d want to be in the latter?
Jazmyn: How would you know that?
Andrea: I was a two-company wrestler for a while myself, remember?
Jazmyn: Oh right…
Andrea: Call it overprotective, but having been through that sort of thing myself, I would never want you to feel the way I did.
Jazmyn smiles, both at the fact that she knows what Andrea is talking about and the fact that the young 23-year-old, an underrated rising star in GCW at that, cares so much about her. Andrea tries to smile, but even though Jazmyn’s not quite at her full confidence yet as far as NGW is concerned, she’s still more confident than the young upstart who has definitely been through the ringer as she tries to establish herself as a singles star.
Jazmyn: You never really told me about how you really felt being in UWA before you and Vicky rightfully quit.
Andrea: UWA was the worst experience of my life…
Jazmyn raises her eyebrows seeming surprised at such a statement, but deep down, knowing Andrea’s struggle, she knows that she shouldn’t be.
Andrea: I felt MISERABLE! I HATED being there. I’m sure you and Vicky have talked about it, but still, it was the loneliest feeling in the world feeling like there was nobody by your side while peer after peer, critic after critic does nothing but talk down to you and try to bring you down like you’re nothing. I can relate to what you just went through with Tillman and all that because I was there when everyone in that farce of a Cruiserweight division kept dismissing me like I was yesterday’s trash. I saw what you went through and it hit so close to home for me, reminding me so much of that awful situation I had to get out of and did. So, that’s sort of why I’m here I guess. I know you’re heading off to an NGW event and I don’t want you to be miserable. You’re… not miserable, are you?
Jazmyn: No, I’m fine.
Andrea: I figured as such. NGW is not UWA and that’s a very, VERY good thing. At least in your case, you’re getting opportunities to shine there. But can you honestly say that you’re happy with your own performance there at the moment?
This question puts Jazmyn in a thoughtful state as she thinks about the handful of matches that she’s had since she signed with NGW. They’re few and far between, she knows that, but she also knows that she’s not comfortable admitting how much losing her debut match to Joshua Goldstein, in her own hometown no less, really did shake her confidence even if the effect of said confidence shake was more slight than anything. Jazmyn finds it hard to mention that even with a three and two record, only one of those three wins really having any kind of impact in much of a significant way, especially toward a young lady like Andrea who has really become somewhat of a protege to her in some ways. Knowing this, Jazmyn decides not to dive into those details with Andrea at the moment, choosing to keep it as straight and as simple as possible.
Jazmyn: I am happy being in NGW in general. It helps when you make a heck of a handful of friends in the early going. As far as my performance up to this point?
Jazmyn pouts for a bit, which is a stronger indicator for Andrea of how much she’s not liking her current situation at the moment.
Jazmyn: I know deep down in my heart I’m better than what my record indicates AND that I’m better than what I’ve shown so far. So, I guess you can say that I’m disappointed to a degree with how I’m performing in NGW right now. I’m not trying to sound like I am being hard on myself or anything of the sort, but that’s my honest assessment. I’m not going to sugar coat that for anyone. Heck, I wish two of my three wins weren’t against also-rans and the unemployed. I wish Caroline didn’t get beat by Alicia Hixx. I wish that I won my debut match in Charlotte. But I’ve been around the game long enough and I know that “wishing” doesn’t automatically fix anything. But all in all, it’s a shame that I’m not doing as good as I hoped I’d be right now.
Andrea: Give it time, Jaz. You’re too good not to eventually find your stride there eventually.
Jazmyn: Time… yeah you’re right, but you know patience isn’t my virtue.
Andrea: You think it’s mine? I’m STILL waiting for that ‘never-look-back’ slash “big breakthrough moment” that I STILL haven’t had and you know how damn frustrating it has been for me. Look, I’m going to tell you something that I should have done with UWA that maybe you should consider doing with NGW. I know that if I hadn’t had my walls up so much… oh who the hell am I kidding, UWA is a piece of garbage. Nothing would have changed my situation there. BUT, I’ve noticed that with NGW, you do have your walls up and you’re more erratic with your emotions there. If what happened to you with Tillman happened in GCW, you’d be over it within a day, two tops. And now, here you are, two weeks later almost, and it’s still weighing on you?
Jazmyn: I know, I know… I got this big lecture from Derek awhile back about how I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself in NGW.
Andrea: Yeah, and that’s part of the reason why UWA went wrong for me. I put too much pressure on myself and for some reason, figured that I had to change things about me as a wrestler and a person to hang when I never really did. You’re pressuring yourself too much to succeed as quick as possible. Just because it’s a different locker room with different wrestlers doesn’t mean you have to act any differently in NGW than you do in GCW. I believe in you Jazmyn. You’re going to make this work. What you have showed me lately has been absolutely inspiring. If anyone can overcome all of this, it’s you. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met in my life and I greatly admire you for that. I know having to wait for a ‘breakthrough moment’ is difficult… very difficult… but deep in your spirit, you know that what you’re dealing with in NGW is going to be worth it in the end despite how bleak things seem to look.
Jazmyn: You don’t need to tell me any of that twice, Andrea.
Jazmyn flashes the widest smile she’s had regarding NGW ever since the last Dissension.
Jazmyn: Thank you for all of the positive sentiments. I’m going to hit that reset button. Essentially, everything up to this point regarding my NGW career so far is going to be put aside. That means no more harping about my hometown debut loss, no more worrying about the criticism of others, no more moping and playing the victim over what Tillman did to me, and no more worrying about whether I can hang in NGW because… really, why would I ever even worry about such a thing? That’s not me at all. YOU know that and I’m very grateful that you just reminded me of that.
Andrea: So… what’s the plan now?
Jazmyn: Like I just said… “reset button”. One match at a time. I may not be the biggest fan of the term, but I know I need to take that pressure off of me and be patient throughout this entire journey. My time will come, I should never doubt that again. So, I’m going to fly to Chicago, I’m going to meet Ruby Lance in that ring when Dissension goes on the air, and all I am going to focus on is beating her and then we’ll go from there. I WILL prove myself as a worthy Five Lakes title contender. I’m going to forget about what’s happened so far and refresh the batteries.
Andrea: There’s the Jazmyn Rain I’ve come to admire so much lately.
Andrea smiles and it’s not long before she and Jazmyn exchange a hug.
Andrea: Have fun in Chicago, okay? Good luck!
Jazmyn: I don’t need luck, because I know that Ruby Lance isn’t going to deny me this fresh start slash reset button that I’ve committed myself to! Stay strong until Survival of the Fittest, okay? You’re starting to hit your own stride yourself.
Andrea: Thanks, I’ll do my very best. Of course, you make a hell of an example to follow.
Jazmyn chuckles before she hugs Andrea again, smiling as she turns and heads down the lobby of the airport to catch her flight to Chicago, clearly back to her usual, optimistic self after a brief detour through her own self-pitying doldrums that she was finally able to pull herself out of.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: The score is simple in Chicago. I’m not going to go into this match with Ruby listening to all of the negative noise. No, I’ve got to be and I WILL be positive about this from now on. No more worrying about the worst. No more stressing over whether I’ll “make it” in NGW or not, because I know that I will. No more of the criticism living in my head rent free while my doubts try to bring me down. Ruby Lance represents a new beginning… the beginning of Jazmyn Rain hitting her stride in NGW!
Jazmyn Rain: I’m often reminded that I need to be far more patient with the way things progress than I typically am and I will be the first to admit to you all that patience isn’t exactly a forte of mine. I’ve been in tougher situations throughout my career, I won’t deny that. But as I’ve said before, I was initially upset about the match that I drew for Dissension in Chicago. I was hoping for some other chance to get that Five Lakes championship shot that I know I would have had if only I had faced Trixie and beat her. But, that’s not the way things turned out. So, essentially, I have to start over in some degree and try to take things one match at a time.
Yeah… I’m not a “one match at a time” person…
I’m the kind of person that sets a long term goal and does everything in her power to make that goal happen as quickly as possible. So, with the events of San Francisco putting me in a precarious spot in NGW, as far as my own inner confidence is concerned, it caused me to reflect back on my brief run so far in this company and when I did, I fell a little further into the rabbit hole when I realized that throughout my first five matches in this company, I haven’t made the waves I’ve wanted to make. I’ve gone on record stating that I don’t feel like I have lived up to my own expectations in NGW at all up to this point.
I haven’t done terrible, I admit that. But I don’t feel like I’ve lit the world on fire either.
I know, coming from someone that has waited damn near 20 months to regain a world championship that was robbed from her and who didn’t even hit the mainstream stage until the age of 26 is surprising, but that’s always the way I’ve been wired. It’s odd being a two-company wrestler, especially when you’re doing so well in one, and you’re still finding your legs in the other. But still, I can’t let that drag me down. I know that sooner rather than later, I’m hoping, I won’t have to be so doubtful and jittery in an NGW ring.
One match at a time? Not my favorite approach, but considering the way things are at the moment, that’s the approach that will work best for right now. Ruby Lance will be the start of me finding my confidence and figuring things out in NGW. The time to be the wrestler that only wins matches against “chumps” or wrestlers that lose to Alicia Hixx has come and gone. It’s time to show you all exactly what Jazmyn Rain is all about at her fullest potential.
Date: October 28, 2017
Time: 11:21 PM
Jazmyn Rain is waiting patiently in the lobby of SeaTac International Airport in Seattle for her flight to Chicago to leave. She’s feeling a little sore, having competed on GCW’s latest edition of Livewire just hours ago, but for the most part, with picking up a win tonight and with coming out of a self-doubting funk due to the events that happened in San Francisco, the former world champion is definitely in brighter spirits again. She’s largely minding her own business, being on the phone while not minding the small handful of patrons that are at the airport at this time. When she goes from a GCW event to an NGW event, she’s typically alone. Though, in this instance, that’s about to change. Jazmyn turns to her right and sees Andrea Hernandez, one of her friends from GCW approach her. Raising her eyebrows in surprise, Jazmyn stands up to greet her. It’s not long before the GCW wrestlers are locking eyes with one another.
Jazmyn: Hey Andrea! What brings you here?
Andrea: I know you’d be here…
Jazmyn: Oh…
Andrea: Let me guess. NGW?
Jazmyn: Yeah, I’ve got to head to Chicago. Overnight flights are a you-know-what. But, that’s part of the grind, you know?
Andrea: Right. I know you’re going through a hard time at the moment.
Andrea expresses a look of concern on her face while Jazmyn sighs, the events of the previous Dissension and how she was robbed of a potential Five Lakes Championship match quickly annoying and burdening her once again.
Jazmyn: Yeah, I know. It’s not easy. Well, I knew that going in.
Andrea: But it’s harder than you thought too, isn’t it? Doesn’t it bother you a bit knowing that GCW and NGW are currently night and day with you doing so great in the former, but not as great as you’d want to be in the latter?
Jazmyn: How would you know that?
Andrea: I was a two-company wrestler for a while myself, remember?
Jazmyn: Oh right…
Andrea: Call it overprotective, but having been through that sort of thing myself, I would never want you to feel the way I did.
Jazmyn smiles, both at the fact that she knows what Andrea is talking about and the fact that the young 23-year-old, an underrated rising star in GCW at that, cares so much about her. Andrea tries to smile, but even though Jazmyn’s not quite at her full confidence yet as far as NGW is concerned, she’s still more confident than the young upstart who has definitely been through the ringer as she tries to establish herself as a singles star.
Jazmyn: You never really told me about how you really felt being in UWA before you and Vicky rightfully quit.
Andrea: UWA was the worst experience of my life…
Jazmyn raises her eyebrows seeming surprised at such a statement, but deep down, knowing Andrea’s struggle, she knows that she shouldn’t be.
Andrea: I felt MISERABLE! I HATED being there. I’m sure you and Vicky have talked about it, but still, it was the loneliest feeling in the world feeling like there was nobody by your side while peer after peer, critic after critic does nothing but talk down to you and try to bring you down like you’re nothing. I can relate to what you just went through with Tillman and all that because I was there when everyone in that farce of a Cruiserweight division kept dismissing me like I was yesterday’s trash. I saw what you went through and it hit so close to home for me, reminding me so much of that awful situation I had to get out of and did. So, that’s sort of why I’m here I guess. I know you’re heading off to an NGW event and I don’t want you to be miserable. You’re… not miserable, are you?
Jazmyn: No, I’m fine.
Andrea: I figured as such. NGW is not UWA and that’s a very, VERY good thing. At least in your case, you’re getting opportunities to shine there. But can you honestly say that you’re happy with your own performance there at the moment?
This question puts Jazmyn in a thoughtful state as she thinks about the handful of matches that she’s had since she signed with NGW. They’re few and far between, she knows that, but she also knows that she’s not comfortable admitting how much losing her debut match to Joshua Goldstein, in her own hometown no less, really did shake her confidence even if the effect of said confidence shake was more slight than anything. Jazmyn finds it hard to mention that even with a three and two record, only one of those three wins really having any kind of impact in much of a significant way, especially toward a young lady like Andrea who has really become somewhat of a protege to her in some ways. Knowing this, Jazmyn decides not to dive into those details with Andrea at the moment, choosing to keep it as straight and as simple as possible.
Jazmyn: I am happy being in NGW in general. It helps when you make a heck of a handful of friends in the early going. As far as my performance up to this point?
Jazmyn pouts for a bit, which is a stronger indicator for Andrea of how much she’s not liking her current situation at the moment.
Jazmyn: I know deep down in my heart I’m better than what my record indicates AND that I’m better than what I’ve shown so far. So, I guess you can say that I’m disappointed to a degree with how I’m performing in NGW right now. I’m not trying to sound like I am being hard on myself or anything of the sort, but that’s my honest assessment. I’m not going to sugar coat that for anyone. Heck, I wish two of my three wins weren’t against also-rans and the unemployed. I wish Caroline didn’t get beat by Alicia Hixx. I wish that I won my debut match in Charlotte. But I’ve been around the game long enough and I know that “wishing” doesn’t automatically fix anything. But all in all, it’s a shame that I’m not doing as good as I hoped I’d be right now.
Andrea: Give it time, Jaz. You’re too good not to eventually find your stride there eventually.
Jazmyn: Time… yeah you’re right, but you know patience isn’t my virtue.
Andrea: You think it’s mine? I’m STILL waiting for that ‘never-look-back’ slash “big breakthrough moment” that I STILL haven’t had and you know how damn frustrating it has been for me. Look, I’m going to tell you something that I should have done with UWA that maybe you should consider doing with NGW. I know that if I hadn’t had my walls up so much… oh who the hell am I kidding, UWA is a piece of garbage. Nothing would have changed my situation there. BUT, I’ve noticed that with NGW, you do have your walls up and you’re more erratic with your emotions there. If what happened to you with Tillman happened in GCW, you’d be over it within a day, two tops. And now, here you are, two weeks later almost, and it’s still weighing on you?
Jazmyn: I know, I know… I got this big lecture from Derek awhile back about how I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself in NGW.
Andrea: Yeah, and that’s part of the reason why UWA went wrong for me. I put too much pressure on myself and for some reason, figured that I had to change things about me as a wrestler and a person to hang when I never really did. You’re pressuring yourself too much to succeed as quick as possible. Just because it’s a different locker room with different wrestlers doesn’t mean you have to act any differently in NGW than you do in GCW. I believe in you Jazmyn. You’re going to make this work. What you have showed me lately has been absolutely inspiring. If anyone can overcome all of this, it’s you. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met in my life and I greatly admire you for that. I know having to wait for a ‘breakthrough moment’ is difficult… very difficult… but deep in your spirit, you know that what you’re dealing with in NGW is going to be worth it in the end despite how bleak things seem to look.
Jazmyn: You don’t need to tell me any of that twice, Andrea.
Jazmyn flashes the widest smile she’s had regarding NGW ever since the last Dissension.
Jazmyn: Thank you for all of the positive sentiments. I’m going to hit that reset button. Essentially, everything up to this point regarding my NGW career so far is going to be put aside. That means no more harping about my hometown debut loss, no more worrying about the criticism of others, no more moping and playing the victim over what Tillman did to me, and no more worrying about whether I can hang in NGW because… really, why would I ever even worry about such a thing? That’s not me at all. YOU know that and I’m very grateful that you just reminded me of that.
Andrea: So… what’s the plan now?
Jazmyn: Like I just said… “reset button”. One match at a time. I may not be the biggest fan of the term, but I know I need to take that pressure off of me and be patient throughout this entire journey. My time will come, I should never doubt that again. So, I’m going to fly to Chicago, I’m going to meet Ruby Lance in that ring when Dissension goes on the air, and all I am going to focus on is beating her and then we’ll go from there. I WILL prove myself as a worthy Five Lakes title contender. I’m going to forget about what’s happened so far and refresh the batteries.
Andrea: There’s the Jazmyn Rain I’ve come to admire so much lately.
Andrea smiles and it’s not long before she and Jazmyn exchange a hug.
Andrea: Have fun in Chicago, okay? Good luck!
Jazmyn: I don’t need luck, because I know that Ruby Lance isn’t going to deny me this fresh start slash reset button that I’ve committed myself to! Stay strong until Survival of the Fittest, okay? You’re starting to hit your own stride yourself.
Andrea: Thanks, I’ll do my very best. Of course, you make a hell of an example to follow.
Jazmyn chuckles before she hugs Andrea again, smiling as she turns and heads down the lobby of the airport to catch her flight to Chicago, clearly back to her usual, optimistic self after a brief detour through her own self-pitying doldrums that she was finally able to pull herself out of.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: The score is simple in Chicago. I’m not going to go into this match with Ruby listening to all of the negative noise. No, I’ve got to be and I WILL be positive about this from now on. No more worrying about the worst. No more stressing over whether I’ll “make it” in NGW or not, because I know that I will. No more of the criticism living in my head rent free while my doubts try to bring me down. Ruby Lance represents a new beginning… the beginning of Jazmyn Rain hitting her stride in NGW!
