Post by Jazmyn Rain on Oct 13, 2017 16:51:56 GMT -5
“Reluctant Stardom”
Opening Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: When I made that decision that I wanted to be a professional wrestler quite a few years ago, I didn’t have stardom on my mind. Yes, I wanted to make it mainstream and make a living off of this, but I didn’t go into it with the mindset that I HAD to be a star. Actually, I didn’t even go into it thinking I WANTED to be a star. I started doing this because I felt it would give me some sort of purpose in life. I definitely didn’t have the glitz and glamour at any point in my life and it’s not like my life was really going places in the years after college.
After I dealt with the struggle to even make it, now I was in the mainstream scene against all odds. That was all I really wanted to do. This wasn’t about world championships, endorsements, magazine covers, late night talk show interviews and so on and so forth. If I had made a living for 10 years, whether I won any sort of championship or not, and invested my money wisely, I figured I would be set for life. I originally treated this as a career to have a passion for and I was just fine with going my entire career without a championship. I admit, I rarely reached out to fans during the early part of my career.
Of course, fate has its ways. Within my first five matches, I ended up being a tag team champion but I was seen as the second half and due to all of the factors that I just described above, I wasn’t taken that seriously. So, I made it a mission to be taken seriously as a singles competitor when the opportunity opened up and that just happened to involve my first singles championship. I KNEW I had to win that in order to be taken seriously and I did, but I was still reluctant to embrace the superstar life in this business. Fast forward all these years later, and I’m still reluctant. I can’t sit here and tell you that I think of myself as a superstar, because that’s the last thing on my mind.
I admit that my fans and some of my friends may see me as such, but I’ve never felt like I deserved such a label. Maybe it’s because of the earlier part of my career where I kept being beat down by my own obstacles, or maybe it’s because before my life-changing experiences that have put me on the cusp of the golden age of my career, I was associated with disappointment so much. Either way? While I appreciate the fact that I have a chance to become Five Lakes Champion at Dissension, and while I have to win two matches in order to do so, there’s some part of me that worries that it’s too soon and I don’t REALLY deserve this.
Looks like I got some work to do…
Date: October 8, 2017
Jazmyn Rain is packing up her final belongings in her Denver, Colorado hotel room. The Charlotte native is in Denver preparing for the next GCW event that is to take place on the 14th before she wrestles in San Francisco on the 15th and she’s definitely in business mode. With so much running through her head, the normally perky Jazmyn isn’t in her typical lighthearted move knowing that she’s got a busy week on her plate, wrestling two and possibly three matches in the span of a weekend if she happens to get by Trixie. Right now, all of her focus is merely on getting to San Francisco, but that focus is about to be snapped when she hears a knock on the door. Jazmyn sighs, trying her best to keep herself from being annoyed. She composes herself for a bit before she walks to the front door and opens it.
Jazmyn: Yes?
Jazmyn raises her eyebrows at the sight of Brooklyn Smith, her best friend from GCW, standing next to a younger, Hispanic woman to her right.
Brooklyn: Hey, Jazzy!
Jazmyn: Hey!
Hispanic woman: Is this a bad time?
Jazmyn: Andrea, it kind of is to be honest. I’m busy.
Andrea Hernandez, a younger GCW wrestler who Jazmyn has become more associated with lately, has a curious look on her face.
Brooklyn: That’s code for “Derek and I are about to have sex”
Jazmyn: HEY!
Both women are taken aback by Jazmyn’s sudden anger.
Andrea: Are you okay?
Jazmyn: Yeah, I’m fine. I just have things to do.
Jazmyn steps aside, turns around and walks back into her room. Brooklyn and Andrea follow her inside with the latter shutting the door behind them.
Brooklyn: Where are you going?
Jazmyn: I’ve got to go to San Francisco today.
Andrea: I thought you weren’t going there until after we team up on Saturday though…
Jazmyn turns around to face her tag team partner for GCW’s upcoming Livewire broadcast on Saturday.
Jazmyn: NGW is doing a convention all week in San Francisco and I am scheduled to have my day there along with a collection of others tomorrow.
Andrea: So does this mean that you’re going to have a whole bunch of fans lining up for you and stuff? Gosh, I would kill for something like that.
Jazmyn: Yes, exactly.
Brooklyn: And I bet you’re going to have a hell of a line waiting for you.
Jazmyn tries to smile, but in reality, she’s showing a tinge of nervousness at the thought and the idea of many people being in one place just to see her.
Jazmyn: I don’t know about that. I mean, I’ve only been in NGW for a handful of matches. I can’t say I’m THAT popular with the NGW fans yet. Then again, how many of those NGW fans are also GCW fans? I don’t know girls… I’m kind of getting flashbacks to my GCW Global Championship reign when I had to do this sort of thing all the time and it overwhelmed the heck out of me to the point where I didn’t represent GCW the way I felt that I should have. Overall, I have to be honest. I’m very stressed about this week. It’s not just the convention, it’s next Sunday…
Jazmyn pauses, to think about the mountain that she has to climb in order to become Five Lakes champion, a fact that Brooklyn and Andrea are both well aware of.
Brooklyn: Don’t sweat it, Jazzy! You recently beat the entire Livewire roster to win a title shot, remember?
Andrea: Yeah! Winning two matches is a piece of cake for someone strong like you! Well, in general it’s not easy, but you know what I mean.
Jazmyn: Ladies, it’s not having to climb that mountain that concerns me. It’s just…
Jazmyn looks down on the floor for a few seconds, sorting through her doubt.
Jazmyn: I don’t know… do I really deserve it? Yeah, I beat a former champ but there’s a part of me that thinks this might be too much too soon.
Brooklyn: I don’t understand, what’s with all the doubt?
Andrea: Jaz, you’re one of the biggest stars in GCW and you’re crossing over to NGW quite nicely. With all that you’ve done in your career, why wouldn’t you have an opportunity like that?
Jazmyn: That’s the thing though, Andrea. Maybe I am such a big star in GCW, but that’s nothing I asked for. Yes, I’ve been pushing and trying to regain that Global title again for the last year and a half, but you both know my reasons for that. I am not doing it to be this big megastar that Livewire needs to revolve itself around. I’m doing this to right the wrongs that happened to me in my last title reign, atone for my mistakes the first time around and to inspire the world to let them know that they can do anything they could put their minds to. It’s largely the same thing here with NGW and the Five Lakes Championship. Yeah, I asked to be Global champion, but I never asked for all the pressure and publicity that came with it.
Jazmyn sighs, letting off some of her angst.
Brooklyn: I’ve got to say, I’m quite surprised that I’m hearing such words come from you. You’re not having doubts that you’ll succeed in NGW, are you?
Jazmyn: No, not at all. I knew that NGW was going to become a pressure cooker and I know I essentially jumped into it to take on a mission of eliminating the Destroyers over there, but there are times where I just don’t know. In GCW, I know the environment. I know the competitors. I know who my friends are, who my enemies are, I know the fanbase. I’ve been a loyal soldier of GCW for a damn long time now. NGW? I love it there so far, but I’m still picking up on things.
Andrea: You’re discouraged a little from what happened in that four-way tag match, aren’t you?
Jazmyn folds her arms and sits on the bed, indicating a slight sign of retreat.
Jazmyn: Yeah… a little. I know that wasn’t my fault and that Adrien chose me over the win. It’s touching and that’s not an issue. I get it. But the circumstances… you know? The Destroyers came after me, which enabled Adrien to make that choice. I feel like, in some way, I cost us the match.
Andrea: You didn’t, let me tell you that much.
Brooklyn: You shouldn’t beat yourself up, Jazzy.
Jazmyn: You’re both right. I’m sorry. I guess I just can’t help it. You both know how stubborn I can be. In both companies, I have so much on my shoulders. But the difference is that in GCW, I KNOW how to manage such expectations. Not so in NGW, not yet. Add on the fact that one of THEM won the NGW title and yeah, there’s so much for me to feel nervous about. I’m getting there, in NGW. I know this. But, I also know that there’s still so much unknown that I have yet to deal with.
Andrea: Listen Jazmyn, just because it’s a different company doesn’t mean you have to be any different, you know? Just be you and the rest will take care of itself and trust me, that’s a lesson I learned the hard way when I had my own little venture outside of GCW recently. Whether it’s GCW or NGW, the fact of the matter is, those fans love the hell out of you. Maybe you should take a listen to that pop that comes out of them whenever you come out to wrestle every once in a while and you’ll understand what I mean. I know you didn’t ask for the spotlight or anything like that, but fact of the matter is, you’ve become quite a star in this business.
Brooklyn: I concur with Andrea. You’ve been Global Champion. Neither of us has. You’ve “made it”... even if you may feel like you don’t. And honestly, I don’t think you will until you win the Global title back.
Jazmyn: You’re right, that’s exactly the case. But stardom… that’s not why I do this.
Andrea: To THEM, you ARE one. Is it fair to deny your fans that?
Brooklyn: Yeah Jazzy, embrace it. You’re smart enough not to let it all go to your head.
Jazmyn: ...again… but that’s a story from five years ago I have no interest in getting into right now.
Brooklyn: In order to be the best you can be in that ring for the people, you have to be confident. You know that. And in order to be confident, you’ve got to embrace the way they feel about you.
Andrea: You deserve the opportunity you’re getting over there, Jazmyn. The best thing you can do is make the most of it.
Jazmyn takes a deep breath, standing up and smiling, indicating that she’s getting over her doubts at this point.
Jazmyn: Thank you both for that. I needed to hear it. I suppose this is just something I am going to have to get used to, you know? It’s definitely for the best that I never wanted to be a star out of all this because that means that everything that’s happened, it all came organically. I never forced anything and I should give myself more credit for that. So, all in all, I know what I am going to do. I am going to embrace it and I am going to make the most out of this and somehow, someway, I don’t know HOW it’s going to happen exactly, I’ll climb that mountain and I’m going to become the NGW Five Lakes Champion.
Jazmyn pauses to smile at her two GCW friends who are returning the same smile right back at her.
Jazmyn: How does that sound ladies? Being GCW Global Champion AND NGW Five Lakes Champion at the same time?
Brooklyn: It sounds wonderful, Jazzy! If anyone can pull that off, it’s you!
Andrea: You’ve inspired the two of us, among others, in so many ways. If you were to able to pull that off, it would be just another way for that to happen.
Jazmyn: Well…
Jazmyn takes one last deep breath.
Jazmyn: Let’s make that a reality!
Jazmyn’s conviction lights up the room as she gives Andrea and Brooklyn a hug.
Brooklyn: Have fun, Jaz! Good luck!
Jazmyn: Thanks!
Andrea: You’re more of an inspiration than even you give yourself credit for, don’t forget that.
Jazmyn: Thank you! I’ll see you both back here Tuesday… and with a championship from NGW with me at that!
Brooklyn and Andrea say their final goodbyes before leaving the hotel room and leaving Jazmyn alone to her thoughts before she finishes packing for her trip to San Francisco.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: Professional wrestling is never an easy business to master. I know deep down in my heart that I’m very close to the golden age of my career now. Fighting the uphill battle that I do in two separate companies is something that I know is going to be fulfilling in the long run. I’ve got a tough battle ahead, dealing with Trixie first and then having to reverse my harsh debut loss in my hometown loss against the Jew Blazer, but at the end of the day, even though it’s not in my nature, if I am going to make this happen this weekend, I’ve got to embrace that stardom that I’ve been so reluctant to acknowledge before. It’s time for me to become more confident. I have no reason to ever doubt what I am capable of in an NGW ring, not after all I’ve overcome and what I’m going to overcome to be Five Lakes Champion!
Opening Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: When I made that decision that I wanted to be a professional wrestler quite a few years ago, I didn’t have stardom on my mind. Yes, I wanted to make it mainstream and make a living off of this, but I didn’t go into it with the mindset that I HAD to be a star. Actually, I didn’t even go into it thinking I WANTED to be a star. I started doing this because I felt it would give me some sort of purpose in life. I definitely didn’t have the glitz and glamour at any point in my life and it’s not like my life was really going places in the years after college.
After I dealt with the struggle to even make it, now I was in the mainstream scene against all odds. That was all I really wanted to do. This wasn’t about world championships, endorsements, magazine covers, late night talk show interviews and so on and so forth. If I had made a living for 10 years, whether I won any sort of championship or not, and invested my money wisely, I figured I would be set for life. I originally treated this as a career to have a passion for and I was just fine with going my entire career without a championship. I admit, I rarely reached out to fans during the early part of my career.
Of course, fate has its ways. Within my first five matches, I ended up being a tag team champion but I was seen as the second half and due to all of the factors that I just described above, I wasn’t taken that seriously. So, I made it a mission to be taken seriously as a singles competitor when the opportunity opened up and that just happened to involve my first singles championship. I KNEW I had to win that in order to be taken seriously and I did, but I was still reluctant to embrace the superstar life in this business. Fast forward all these years later, and I’m still reluctant. I can’t sit here and tell you that I think of myself as a superstar, because that’s the last thing on my mind.
I admit that my fans and some of my friends may see me as such, but I’ve never felt like I deserved such a label. Maybe it’s because of the earlier part of my career where I kept being beat down by my own obstacles, or maybe it’s because before my life-changing experiences that have put me on the cusp of the golden age of my career, I was associated with disappointment so much. Either way? While I appreciate the fact that I have a chance to become Five Lakes Champion at Dissension, and while I have to win two matches in order to do so, there’s some part of me that worries that it’s too soon and I don’t REALLY deserve this.
Looks like I got some work to do…
Date: October 8, 2017
Jazmyn Rain is packing up her final belongings in her Denver, Colorado hotel room. The Charlotte native is in Denver preparing for the next GCW event that is to take place on the 14th before she wrestles in San Francisco on the 15th and she’s definitely in business mode. With so much running through her head, the normally perky Jazmyn isn’t in her typical lighthearted move knowing that she’s got a busy week on her plate, wrestling two and possibly three matches in the span of a weekend if she happens to get by Trixie. Right now, all of her focus is merely on getting to San Francisco, but that focus is about to be snapped when she hears a knock on the door. Jazmyn sighs, trying her best to keep herself from being annoyed. She composes herself for a bit before she walks to the front door and opens it.
Jazmyn: Yes?
Jazmyn raises her eyebrows at the sight of Brooklyn Smith, her best friend from GCW, standing next to a younger, Hispanic woman to her right.
Brooklyn: Hey, Jazzy!
Jazmyn: Hey!
Hispanic woman: Is this a bad time?
Jazmyn: Andrea, it kind of is to be honest. I’m busy.
Andrea Hernandez, a younger GCW wrestler who Jazmyn has become more associated with lately, has a curious look on her face.
Brooklyn: That’s code for “Derek and I are about to have sex”
Jazmyn: HEY!
Both women are taken aback by Jazmyn’s sudden anger.
Andrea: Are you okay?
Jazmyn: Yeah, I’m fine. I just have things to do.
Jazmyn steps aside, turns around and walks back into her room. Brooklyn and Andrea follow her inside with the latter shutting the door behind them.
Brooklyn: Where are you going?
Jazmyn: I’ve got to go to San Francisco today.
Andrea: I thought you weren’t going there until after we team up on Saturday though…
Jazmyn turns around to face her tag team partner for GCW’s upcoming Livewire broadcast on Saturday.
Jazmyn: NGW is doing a convention all week in San Francisco and I am scheduled to have my day there along with a collection of others tomorrow.
Andrea: So does this mean that you’re going to have a whole bunch of fans lining up for you and stuff? Gosh, I would kill for something like that.
Jazmyn: Yes, exactly.
Brooklyn: And I bet you’re going to have a hell of a line waiting for you.
Jazmyn tries to smile, but in reality, she’s showing a tinge of nervousness at the thought and the idea of many people being in one place just to see her.
Jazmyn: I don’t know about that. I mean, I’ve only been in NGW for a handful of matches. I can’t say I’m THAT popular with the NGW fans yet. Then again, how many of those NGW fans are also GCW fans? I don’t know girls… I’m kind of getting flashbacks to my GCW Global Championship reign when I had to do this sort of thing all the time and it overwhelmed the heck out of me to the point where I didn’t represent GCW the way I felt that I should have. Overall, I have to be honest. I’m very stressed about this week. It’s not just the convention, it’s next Sunday…
Jazmyn pauses, to think about the mountain that she has to climb in order to become Five Lakes champion, a fact that Brooklyn and Andrea are both well aware of.
Brooklyn: Don’t sweat it, Jazzy! You recently beat the entire Livewire roster to win a title shot, remember?
Andrea: Yeah! Winning two matches is a piece of cake for someone strong like you! Well, in general it’s not easy, but you know what I mean.
Jazmyn: Ladies, it’s not having to climb that mountain that concerns me. It’s just…
Jazmyn looks down on the floor for a few seconds, sorting through her doubt.
Jazmyn: I don’t know… do I really deserve it? Yeah, I beat a former champ but there’s a part of me that thinks this might be too much too soon.
Brooklyn: I don’t understand, what’s with all the doubt?
Andrea: Jaz, you’re one of the biggest stars in GCW and you’re crossing over to NGW quite nicely. With all that you’ve done in your career, why wouldn’t you have an opportunity like that?
Jazmyn: That’s the thing though, Andrea. Maybe I am such a big star in GCW, but that’s nothing I asked for. Yes, I’ve been pushing and trying to regain that Global title again for the last year and a half, but you both know my reasons for that. I am not doing it to be this big megastar that Livewire needs to revolve itself around. I’m doing this to right the wrongs that happened to me in my last title reign, atone for my mistakes the first time around and to inspire the world to let them know that they can do anything they could put their minds to. It’s largely the same thing here with NGW and the Five Lakes Championship. Yeah, I asked to be Global champion, but I never asked for all the pressure and publicity that came with it.
Jazmyn sighs, letting off some of her angst.
Brooklyn: I’ve got to say, I’m quite surprised that I’m hearing such words come from you. You’re not having doubts that you’ll succeed in NGW, are you?
Jazmyn: No, not at all. I knew that NGW was going to become a pressure cooker and I know I essentially jumped into it to take on a mission of eliminating the Destroyers over there, but there are times where I just don’t know. In GCW, I know the environment. I know the competitors. I know who my friends are, who my enemies are, I know the fanbase. I’ve been a loyal soldier of GCW for a damn long time now. NGW? I love it there so far, but I’m still picking up on things.
Andrea: You’re discouraged a little from what happened in that four-way tag match, aren’t you?
Jazmyn folds her arms and sits on the bed, indicating a slight sign of retreat.
Jazmyn: Yeah… a little. I know that wasn’t my fault and that Adrien chose me over the win. It’s touching and that’s not an issue. I get it. But the circumstances… you know? The Destroyers came after me, which enabled Adrien to make that choice. I feel like, in some way, I cost us the match.
Andrea: You didn’t, let me tell you that much.
Brooklyn: You shouldn’t beat yourself up, Jazzy.
Jazmyn: You’re both right. I’m sorry. I guess I just can’t help it. You both know how stubborn I can be. In both companies, I have so much on my shoulders. But the difference is that in GCW, I KNOW how to manage such expectations. Not so in NGW, not yet. Add on the fact that one of THEM won the NGW title and yeah, there’s so much for me to feel nervous about. I’m getting there, in NGW. I know this. But, I also know that there’s still so much unknown that I have yet to deal with.
Andrea: Listen Jazmyn, just because it’s a different company doesn’t mean you have to be any different, you know? Just be you and the rest will take care of itself and trust me, that’s a lesson I learned the hard way when I had my own little venture outside of GCW recently. Whether it’s GCW or NGW, the fact of the matter is, those fans love the hell out of you. Maybe you should take a listen to that pop that comes out of them whenever you come out to wrestle every once in a while and you’ll understand what I mean. I know you didn’t ask for the spotlight or anything like that, but fact of the matter is, you’ve become quite a star in this business.
Brooklyn: I concur with Andrea. You’ve been Global Champion. Neither of us has. You’ve “made it”... even if you may feel like you don’t. And honestly, I don’t think you will until you win the Global title back.
Jazmyn: You’re right, that’s exactly the case. But stardom… that’s not why I do this.
Andrea: To THEM, you ARE one. Is it fair to deny your fans that?
Brooklyn: Yeah Jazzy, embrace it. You’re smart enough not to let it all go to your head.
Jazmyn: ...again… but that’s a story from five years ago I have no interest in getting into right now.
Brooklyn: In order to be the best you can be in that ring for the people, you have to be confident. You know that. And in order to be confident, you’ve got to embrace the way they feel about you.
Andrea: You deserve the opportunity you’re getting over there, Jazmyn. The best thing you can do is make the most of it.
Jazmyn takes a deep breath, standing up and smiling, indicating that she’s getting over her doubts at this point.
Jazmyn: Thank you both for that. I needed to hear it. I suppose this is just something I am going to have to get used to, you know? It’s definitely for the best that I never wanted to be a star out of all this because that means that everything that’s happened, it all came organically. I never forced anything and I should give myself more credit for that. So, all in all, I know what I am going to do. I am going to embrace it and I am going to make the most out of this and somehow, someway, I don’t know HOW it’s going to happen exactly, I’ll climb that mountain and I’m going to become the NGW Five Lakes Champion.
Jazmyn pauses to smile at her two GCW friends who are returning the same smile right back at her.
Jazmyn: How does that sound ladies? Being GCW Global Champion AND NGW Five Lakes Champion at the same time?
Brooklyn: It sounds wonderful, Jazzy! If anyone can pull that off, it’s you!
Andrea: You’ve inspired the two of us, among others, in so many ways. If you were to able to pull that off, it would be just another way for that to happen.
Jazmyn: Well…
Jazmyn takes one last deep breath.
Jazmyn: Let’s make that a reality!
Jazmyn’s conviction lights up the room as she gives Andrea and Brooklyn a hug.
Brooklyn: Have fun, Jaz! Good luck!
Jazmyn: Thanks!
Andrea: You’re more of an inspiration than even you give yourself credit for, don’t forget that.
Jazmyn: Thank you! I’ll see you both back here Tuesday… and with a championship from NGW with me at that!
Brooklyn and Andrea say their final goodbyes before leaving the hotel room and leaving Jazmyn alone to her thoughts before she finishes packing for her trip to San Francisco.
Closing Thoughts
Jazmyn Rain: Professional wrestling is never an easy business to master. I know deep down in my heart that I’m very close to the golden age of my career now. Fighting the uphill battle that I do in two separate companies is something that I know is going to be fulfilling in the long run. I’ve got a tough battle ahead, dealing with Trixie first and then having to reverse my harsh debut loss in my hometown loss against the Jew Blazer, but at the end of the day, even though it’s not in my nature, if I am going to make this happen this weekend, I’ve got to embrace that stardom that I’ve been so reluctant to acknowledge before. It’s time for me to become more confident. I have no reason to ever doubt what I am capable of in an NGW ring, not after all I’ve overcome and what I’m going to overcome to be Five Lakes Champion!
