Post by JMav/JGold/RNorth/MKarloff on Sept 15, 2017 8:53:29 GMT -5
"I fucking saw it. What else is there to say guys? I'm not psychic. I'm just crazy like everybody told me I was." Johnny says to Josh and Ronnie. They were all drinking coffee at a 24-hour diner. Josh was on his fifth plate of 'All-You-Can-Eat' Pancakes. Johnny and Ronnie had given up trying to figure out how Josh ate seemingly twice his body weight in food every day and was still as skinny as a rail.
"I mean... maybe it's time you had a good long look at what these visions really mean?" Josh says in that 'We're trying to nicely break it to our friend that he might be crazy' sorta way.
"You know if you have it long enough syphillis can start to make you hallucinate." Ronnie adds, not at all being helpful.
"My dick is just fine, Ronnie. Maybe you're projecting onto me. Maybe it's time to see the doctor again." Johnny says. Ronnie shrugs in response. He can't really disagree with his logic. Johnny takes a moment to watch in awe as Joshua Goldstein finishes off another plate of pancakes.
"Um...more?" The server asks, confused.
"Yes, please!" Josh says adorably.
"You don't need to be psychic Johnny. You beat Adrien Cochrane. That's a hell of a win. I mean, who cares if you didn't beat Yuji like you saw in your vision. Jesus, I'ma swipe right on them titties." Ronnie says, looking at his phone.
"Wait. Wait. What did you just say?" Johnny asks.
"Uh....I'ma swipe right on them titties?" Ronnie says.
"No, before that. Wait. Hang on." Johnny says. He yanks Ronnie's phone away and looks.
"Yes, swipe right for sure but also before that." Johnny adds.
"Um....who cares if you didn't beat Yuji like you saw in your vision?" Ronnie says, raising an eyebrow.
"Ha! That's it! Jesus Ronnie I'd kiss you if I weren't so certain you had herpes." Johnny says. He takes money from his wallet and slams it on the table before running out of the diner. Josh and Ronnie look at the money on the table.
"That's....he..." Josh says as he counts the bills.
"Yeah, this is 500 dollars." Ronnie says.
"I don't think Johnny knows how much things cost." Josh says. Josh and Ronnie shrug. Johnny runs back into the room and drops another 100 on the table.
"Sorry. Forgot to tip." Johnny says before running back out of the room.
"We should tell him." Josh says.
"Some other time." Ronnie says as he pockets 100 bucks.
___________________________________________
We find ourselves once again back in the Mind Palace where apparently several items had been broken. Johnny Maverick is hard at work getting things back in order here however. Finally, he clears off his throne. The Throne of the Psychic Warrior before sitting comfortably. He reaches his hand out and a Hoodie Ninja places a pint glass full of a delicious Oatmeal Stout in it as another Hoodie Ninja gets on their hands and knees in front of the throne so Johnny can put his feet up. He takes a sip of his beer and releases a satisfied breath.
"Greetings Brothers and Sisters, Friends and Neighbors, Fellow vibrations in the mind of the one true God whose name is Love. It is I, the Master of Mental Miracles, The Sultan of Psychic Superiority, The...third alliterative nickname.... Johnny Maverick. Sorry, really lost steam there at the end. I'm in a good mood. I know that's quite a separation from the last time I did one of these and I know you all have one lingering question. The question that has been blowing up my twitter ever since One Night Only." Johnny says. HE has another sip of his beer and makes a small happy noise.
"That question being of course: 'How can Johnny Maverick still claim to be psychic if he lost against Yujiro Fujiwara when he had a vision that he would beat him for the World Title?'. It's a hell of a question. One that has been fucking with my mind meats for much longer than I care to admit. The only lesson that needs to be learned here is that I need to get better at interpreting my visions. See, I had a vision that I won the Redemption World Heavyweight Title." Johnny says, he gives a bit of a pause to see if the viewers at home follow his logic.
"At no point in that vision did I see myself beating Yujiro Fujiwara to do it." Johnny says with a cocky smirk that is as infuriating to his enemies as it is panty-melting to any female viewers.
"I am going to be this companies world champion. That much is clear to me. Who knows? Maybe it will be Yuji who I beat to win it... I'd really like it to be Kayla, though. I mean, it's weird that she's fucking Martin Karloff now considering he's married to Xaria and uh... wait what? That's not Martin? Some other guy started dressing like a horror film villain? Well that's just... It's stupid is what it is. I mean, it's about as stupid as how often Kayla calls Yuji a 'paper fluke' champion with zero regard for how much that line of thinking harms her boy-toys legacy considering he got his ass beat by him. I guess the pint I'm really getting at here is that smart people don't tend to be successful in the Wrestling industry. It makes a lot of sense. Really only a proper fucking idiot would look at what this industry does to people and say 'Yeah, let's do that. I want that to be me.'" Johnny says.
"Chuck Matthews claims to be the smartest man in wrestling. No offense Chucky but that's sort of like claiming to be the sexiest leper. Being smart doesn't win you matches. Take it from this fucking idiot. I'm psychic but I certainly can't lay any claim to being particularly smart. You can go ahead and lay claim to your moniker, Chucky. I'm not gonna fight you on how good you are at chess or how awesome you are at filling ou a crossword puzzle." Johnny says. One last sip of his beer before he hands off the empty glass to a Hoodie Ninja as another hands him a napkin to wipe his mouth.
"I guess I'll just have to settle for being a better wrestler than you. Psychic Warfare is Real." Johnny says, he reaches to a lamp beside his seat and tugs on the string, the whole room going dark and the promo ending.
