Post by Kayla Richards on Sept 14, 2017 18:35:59 GMT -5
The Bond we share
Your Betrayal
Our lives are always shaped by the decisions we make. In Fact the infinite reality theory says that for every action ever made in the world, every decision there is an alternate reality. No matter how mundane or basic the decision is. From whether to get sugar in your morning coffee or an artificial sweetener, to non dairy creamer or milk, to move or stay where you are. All decisions, all the time, all day and all night cause a fork split and a tree is formed.
It’s theories like this one that cause my brain to hurt as I think about the many b”what if’s” in my life. What if I’d left sooner?. What if I never did?. What if Amber and Jaxon stayed?. What if our mother left our father when we were born?...or when Amber was born?. Then there’s my decisions that fractured my relationship with them. The decisions that broke my own heart as well as others.
Where would I be if I had walked away from the life I had gotten into?
Where would I be if I hadn’t of let Ana Valentine corrupt me?
Would I even be the same person?. You see I was much more like Tasmin when I was younger. Her sweet and kind nature is a genuine product of her life. She was untouched, pure, loved and protected. She had a step father that loved her after our father passed away. She was protected by myself and Amber beforew Amber took off to America.
Me though?. Mine was a mask. But it was a mask I was comfortable in. A smile that didn’t turn my stomach. A sweet tenderness I didn’t feel was fake. But then a meeting changed it all. A moment where my sister was so busy with her own life, her own issues that she didn’t even see it coming. She didn’t see the dark shadow approaching me from behind ready to destroy me for the sake of a hatred that was directed at her.
Ana fucking Valentine.
Now don’t let her little happy life fool you. The smile with her new husband after she dropped Alex Jones for finally getting sick of being humiliated in public and fucking a younger...less saggy version of her. Her kids and her corporate life. She is a killer. She is a vile sadistic, manipulative bitch. And I admire her for that. See everything I am, everything I do is because of her.
She took me, she used me, she pushed me towards a darkness and an acceptance of my apathy I never knew existed. So really, I should thank her. In this world, and no I don’t mean professional wrestling, I mean the world at large the proper attitude to have is that of selfish love. Love for yourself and love for your own goals and aspirations….
As good as my sister was, as good as my would be mentor was and as good as my now ex is….I am that much fucking better. I am a vicious, cold hearted force of destruction...my heart is black and cold and when I look at everyone I face I don’t see fellow human beings. I don’t feel compassion….I feel anger, I feel hatred...I feel righteous….
And I always have and always will. But still, my sister says I betrayed her. But the truth is, she betrayed herself….
So take your eyes off the trigger
I'm not to blame if your world turns to black
As your eyes start to blister
There's just no hope for our final embrace
So here we are, I'm in your head
I'm in your heart!
You were told to to run away
Soak the place and light the flame
Pay the price for your betrayal
4 years ago
Norwich England.
I was back home for the first time in a year. The cold air hit me in the face like a slap as I got off the plane. I had been sent with instructions to tell my family I was fine, not to worry, that I had found a place of my own and was training to follow in Amber's footsteps. I was told to lie. The truth is that I was being treated as a house pet. Sick perversions thrust upon me in the name of becoming humble.
The entire way to my mothers I had a sick feeling deep in my stomach, a sense of foreboding that just wouldn’t leave. What the hell was it?
I walked to the door and let myself in plastering a happy smile on my face as I saw my mother, she smiled back, not as big as I thought, something seemed on her mind, she gave me a hug and sighed, then I felt another one, I turned and there was Tasmin, 14 years old and almost as tall as me, her long black hair dyed with a few blonde and purple streaks. God she looked more like me and Amber than I thought. I laughed and we made small talk. Then it hit me the feeling of being watched.
I turned and saw her. Amber. In the house, away from Renee, standing right next to me. I swallowed hard and there was a silence, an uncomfortable one you could cut with a knife, the tension in the air so thick. She stepped forward and gave me a hug, it was awkward and full of dislike and anger. As Tasmin and our mother talked Amber leaned in and whispered one sentence that sent a chill down my spine.
“She won’t save you….”
