Post by Izzy Roxx on Sept 9, 2017 17:34:42 GMT -5
'First of all, this is bullBEEP, okay?'
The latest video uploaded to the West Coast Genesis website opens with the bleeped-out words of, not the Galactic Queen-press of the Izzyverse, but a red-haired girl in steel-capped boots, seen standing next to her in a leafy suburban street. As the caption '#CENSOREDTEAGAN' briefly appears over her friend's mouth, the Izztraordinary One herself tries to quickly defuse the situation:
'Hey...Teags...it's no biggie...like, for real.'
The second girl, however, is having none of it, and promptly flares up once again:
'No, no, Iz...it totally IS. It totally IS a biggie. And it totally IS bullBLEEP!'
As a cringing Izzy gestures to indicate her friend should quiet down, the girl once again snaps:
'No, Iz! Cut it out! You know I'm right! I mean why are they making you fight TWO guys? Nobody else is fighting TWO guys!'
Then, turning to the camera once again, she adds:
'Did you hear that, HATERS?! Nobody else but my friend is fighting two guys at once! It's total bullBLEEP, and we're totally gonna sue!'
Izzy cringes even harder as she quickly steps in front of her friend, taking over the frame and preventing her from doing even more damage. Then, as a clearly miffed Teagan grudgingly retreats to the background, the Genesis wrestler turns to her friend.
'No, listen, Teags...it's okay. We don't need to sue. You know why?'
Izzy turns to face the camera, addressing it directly for the first time since the start of the video.
'...'Cause it doesn't matter how many guys they wanna add to the match. Two, three, ten, a MILLION! It doesn't matter. You know why? 'Cause it took a former West Coast Genesis Champion to put the Queen-press of the Izzyverse down. And he TOTALLY almost lost, too!'
These words seem to appease Teagan, whose expression softens into her usual sardonic smirk as Izzy continues:
'And you know what else? These two dudes I'm fighting tomorrow may be bigger than me, and stronger than me or whatever, but you know what they're NOT? They're NOT the Galactic Queen-press of the Izzyverse! They're NOT the coolest chick in three states! They're NOT the Wizard of Izz, the Rock'n'Roll Renegade, that Izztraordinary Girl, the most exciting rookie in the whole of the West Coast! They're NOT...Izzy Roxx.'
#IZZYROCKS flashes underneath Izzy as she continues:
'And you wanna know something else? One of these dudes I'm facing is called Caspian. Like, the dude from Narnia? Well, let me tell you something, dude: you were a lot hotter in the movie!'
The words #SICKBURN appear underneath Izzy as she pulls an expression somewhere between confused and repulsed, causing Teagan to giggle. The Izztraordinary Girl, however, barely acknowledges it, instead simply continuing her address:
'And you know what else, Prince Caspian? This right here? This isn't Narnia. When you get in that ring tomorrow, there's not gonna be any talking God lions to help you. There's not gonna be any English kids to fight for you. There's not even gonna be an evil witch to turn you into ice. When you get in that ring tomorrow, and come face to face with IZZTHOR THE GALACTIC DESTROYER...you're gonna be on your own. And you're gonna find out this story doesn't end like the one in the book.'Cause see, this one...doesn't have a happy ending.'
Izzy smirks again, before continuing:
'And this other dude? El Bombardero Azul? What's up with that name, dude?'
'I think that's my gardener's son's name,' Teagan pipes up from the background. Izzy, however, ignores her once again – or pretends to – as she continues:
'No, I mean, seriously...what the heck is up with that name? The Blue Bomber? What, so you're Bomberman? 'Cause let me tell you something, if you ARE Bomberman...you're about to find out that this ain't a game. This ain't a game, and we're not in the 80s anymore. This is real life, and the 21st century. And in real life, in the 21st century, there's no way someone like you could beat the Izztraordinary One. You wanna know why?'
The wrestler begins to count on her fingers:
'Number one, I'm cooler than you. I mean, seriously...what-is-up-with-your-NAME? Second of all, I've only lost one match so far, and it was against a dude who used to be Genesis Champion – in case you'd forgotten...'
In the background, Teagan is seen nodding in a cockily assertive manner, as up close to the lens, her friend continues:
'...and number three, I'm the GALACTIC QUEEN-PRESS OF THE IZZYVERSE! Which means ALL of my subjects are gonna be out there cheering for me. While all of yours are gonna be in...uh...erm...'
'The City', comes a helpful – and recognisable – voice from off-camera. The hashtag #SETHFTW flashes on screen as a still uncertain Izzy continues:
'Yeah...in...The City.'
The wrestler is briefly seen frowning and mouthing 'which city, though?', before shrugging off the issue and proceeding:
'It doesn't matter which city, though. Sin City, Gotham City, Suplex City...it doesn't matter. 'Cause see, when you get in that ring on Sunday...you're not gonna be in a city anymore. When you get in that ring on Sunday, you're gonna travel aaaaaallll the way across the Izzyverse. And you know who rules the Izzyverse?'
The brunette smirks once again.
'That's right. Me.'
Teagan is once more seen nodding in the background, as well as pointing at her friend. Izzy, however, does not see any of this, as she simply continues:
'Did you get the message yet, boys? It doesn't matter how many of you there are. If you come at me on Sunday thinking I'm gonna be easy to beat, you're gonna be in for a surprise. See, just 'cause I'm not super-tall or a million years old or whatever, doesn't mean I'm Dorothy the Small and Meek. Heck no! I'm Izz the Great and Powerful. And on Sunday...you're gonna find out that no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what you think, no matter how hard you try...you're not gonna be able to win. You know why?'
A grin once again spreads across the brunette's features as she concludes:
''Cause on Sunday...you're gonna be in the ring with Izzy.
And Izzy...Roxx.'
With that - and with Izzy and Teagan both flashing simultaneous metal horns at the camera - the video ends.