Post by Kayla Richards on Aug 18, 2017 3:04:23 GMT -5
It felt good in the light
Crush
The light came into my life. A pale skinned golden haired angel with a cute smile and an adorable laugh. Her accent a mishmash of where she had been and what she’d been able to pick up. I’m not even sure why she and I got together. I should have hated her. I should have despised her very existence and presence.
She was after all..related to the vile thing that pulled me into heel and ruined me.
I admit some of it was lust. I had no idea what I was. Straight, Gay, Bisexual, A-sexual. Those words held little meaning to me. All I know is when I saw her, when she took care of me I wanted her. Every single part of me ached for her. Begged for it and needed it. This was also a mistake. A huge one.
I thought I’d be able to be happy again.
I thought I’d be able to forget my past and let it go.
But this relationship, however life affirming was going to do even more damage than the one with the dark angel and his followers. While I would never be physically abused by her my emotional state would break and crack. I’d let her in my walls and she would break everything inside them. Piece by piece. Brick by brick, she got inside my head and she brought it all down and burned it. And then played in the ashes.
I let it happen.
I could of stopped anytime, I could have pushed her away. I could of said no. I could have retreated back into my own personal hell. But the golden haired girl drew me in. And that mistake was one I regret….
Don't tell Me To Face it
Your wasted
The Love we Lost I Found in Someone new
The Invitation she leaves beneath my skin
To Feel that Body Rise and
Swallow me in her Abyss
And Now I've seen all your Ghosts
And Now I Fear I've lost my Soul
3 Years Ago
New York, New York
Her lips touched mine in the softest of ways, her hands drifted up and down my arms, her fingertips feeling like they were delivering a hundred electric shocks. It caused goosebumps all over. Her hand moved through my hair down my back drawing me close. We both laughed and giggled, we both smiled and gave each other soft looks of affection and what we thought was love.
Her bright blue eyes stared into my emerald green ones. We were almost opposites. Her long blonde hair in contrast to my jet black waves. Her pure pale skin looking different to my tattooed olive complexion. We would walk around hand in hand and people would look and stare. From confused looks pf older generations, to the perverted smirks of random men to the smiles of happiness from others who understood love they all had their different gazes.
She and I were happy together. For a time.
I would sit at the kitchen table as she made dinner. I watched while she would hum a random song and do the most mundane things like cut up vegetables or made a smoothie. We enjoyed ourselves at home, just us. Until it was time to go to work. And what a time it was. With her by my side I was unstoppable. I won a championship that no one could take off me, I was simply the best of the best at that time.
She showed me love, she showed me compassion. She showed me how to be the best as she stood by my side. But after a while the same old doubts, the same pressures overcame us both. And then as we watched each other drift away we both knew the mistakes we made would form us into things we didn’t want to be.
But she was the harshest lesson, she also would prove to destroy a man who took my heart and could of been the real love of my life….
