Post by Kayla Richards on Jun 4, 2017 2:41:01 GMT -5
Last Month
I sat alone in the small parlour. My hair done up in curls and waves. The tight fitting purple dress Amber picked up clinging to my skin. The fake nails she made us all get felt heavy on my hands as I tapped them against the polished hard oak of the table next to me. mI could hear them all giggling. Amber, Tasmin, Our mother, Her friend Aurora. All of us together looked like we came from a huge extended family, one was missing. Amber’s friend Gabby was absent due to a commitment, but what an age we live in. Webcams set up with multiple angles read to send the ceremony all over the world.
I chuckled as I saw Matt in his suit, he shifted looking slightly uncomfortable mingling with the other guests. I heard the door open as Tasmin came out. Her long black and blonde hair all twisted up high with her make-up done. She sat down next to me humming a tune. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Tasmin scoffed as my mum and Aurora walked out. Amber stood in the doorway and motioned with her finger. I pushed up and turned walking into the room closing the door behind me. Amber sat at the mirror, her make up perfect, her hair also perfect in a long gown. Her wedding dress hanging up near the side.
I sat behind her clasping my hands together on my lap as I threw a leg over the other. Amber laughed to herself and turned looking at me. “Well, don’t you look like a lady?” Her voice was light and calm with a hint of humor. I just scoffed and rolled my eyes again as Amber shook her head. “Kay, we haven’t had much time to talk have we?” I simply shook my head and offered a little shrug, a little movement to show that it hadn’t bothered me. A lie I didn’t need to tell. The truth is I missed Amber….
“Thank you for being here. It means alot that you’d support me and Brandon.” I couldn’t help but smile. Through everything that went on between us I had to watch as man after man came into my sister’s life and treated her worse than they would treat an animal. Renee, Caleb, Gray, Luke, Seth, Kaden...even my own sweet Matthew. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy. And she had finally found that.
I smiled and sighed. “I’ll always support you Amber. But you don’t need much back up with this….” I trailed off for a moment looking into the mirror, my sister and I sitting so close together. Her jet black hair the same as mine. Both of us covered in tattoos. Our make up similar. The family resemblance always made me laugh. “Brandon is the right man for you. He came into your life, swept you off your feet, that man loves you so much Amber, and I can see just how much you love him….”
She blushed, it came through her foundation as her cheeks turned a rosy red. She grabbed her necklace pulling it up to her neck motioning to me for some help. I grabbed it and undid the small clasp before letting it drop, I leaned forward giving her a tight hug, Amber seemed caught off guard but then she smiled. A happy smile that for years I wondered if it even existed. But since she’d been with Brandon, I saw it almost weekly on skype calls.
“Kay, are you happy with Matt?” The question caught me off guard. I stepped back and sat back down behind her as Amber spun around to face me, she smiled warmly and reached over grabbing my hand in hers. “I’m only asking cause I worry, he’s been acting a little...weird. Well, even weirder than normal for him” She chuckled and I sighed trying to keep in the laughter. My mind flashed back to Matt bumping his head, the MRI’s the transformation into the Heavyweight King…
I stayed silent for a moment thinking. I squeezed Ambers hand and cleared my throat. “I’m happy with Matthew. I made the decision to be with him and stay with him. I know you two have a past but, he’s different with me.” I paused for a moment trying to find the correct words to use. My lip curling as I nervously bit it, a trait Amber, Tasmin and I all share. “It’s almost like, you ticked a whole load of boxes in what he wanted but there was one thing missing...and I fill that void. Just like Brandon does for you…”
Amber smiled and looked surprised before leaning in. “Kay, are you in love with him?” The question took me by surprise. Truth is I hadn’t thought about it. I didn’t even know if I was capable of that emotion. After all that happened I felt numb, the physical attraction and attention was what I craved. But Amber wouldn’t ask unless she saw it...would she?
“I-I don’t know...maybe…” I stumbled over my words, I swallowed hard and fumbled my hands together Amber raised an eyebrow tilting her head. “If you do you’d know. Are you with him because of who he is?.” My jaw dropped and I shook my head. “Whoa no...nothing like that...I do….I do love him” The words flew out before I could think of anything else to say.
I wasn’t like her, We went through the same thing when we were younger. But while Amber felt everything and hated it and let it turn inward, I had the opposite reaction. I shut down and shut off. For the last 15 years I felt nothing, what little emotion I did have was usually saved as greed in wanting and needing things. I had no remorse, no mercy, no sadness and when I felt happiness I wondered if it was real….
Was any of it real?....
Was I even human?
Amber stared at me as I went through the process. She became impatient, she smiled again trying to calm me. I leaned forward and gave her a small kiss on the cheek, light enough to not mess up her make up. “I love you sis….I’ll see you out there ok?...I’ll send Tas in to help…” Amber gave a small nod. She knows. Oh god she knows…..
I’m a monster….
