Post by Zane Story on May 17, 2017 22:42:45 GMT -5
(The camera opens up in the backyard of Zane Story again. As they pan around we lock on Zane who has a big white sheet over something that is sitting on his deck. He is shirtless wearing a pair of Oakley flaks and a pair of baggy sweats. He smiles at the camera.)
Zane: Well HELLO fellow Youtuber’s. That’s right, the WCG and RW think they can censor my ass and not share my shit on their airwaves, I intend to be posting my bitching and complaining about the roster on Youtube until those bastards notice me. Don’t worry though, I will continue to post here after they start airing my stuff but in the mean time it’s just you and me.
(Zane points at the camera and then back to himself. He smiles and nods.)
Zane: So, for my first Youtube video I figured I would introduce....
(Total fake drum rolls plays. Zane rips the sheet off to reveal a giant spinning ball with smaller balls inside. She smiles widely at the camera)
Zane: The Insane Zane Wheel of unfortunate Fucktardary. I can say Fucktardary on Youtube right... Well I hope so. Anyway, I got a lovely call from the WCG and RW Owner Devlin Scott who said “Zane you shoulder be pissing off the whole roster before you’re on it, blah blah blah”. Well Devlin, I understand that you don’t want me cutting any promos or anything like that without being on the promo, but in case you didn’t notice from the video I sent you, i really don’t give a fuck what you want me to do. However I do agree with you on the fact that pissing off the whole roster would be a bad idea. I mean they all basically suck more dick then Christina Aguilera and Brittany spears in the 90s but that’s beside the point. So with that in mind....
(Zane points to the ball.)
Zane: I created this, simply for the simple reason of simplicity I shall deal with these simpletons in a simply sensational matter. Basically I turn this handle and roll the balls pick someone out and tear them apart like the piece of shit they are. Let’s start with someone talented.
(Zane turns the handle and the balls roll about. He opens the little cage and reaches in grabbing out a ball out. He gets a look of disappointment on his face. He turns the ball towards the camera and you see Ryan Keys face. Zane tosses the ball over his shoulder and it bounces on the ground.)
Zane: I said someone talented.
(Zane rolls the spinner again and draws out another ball. He turns it to the camera and it is Gunner Wahl.)
Zane: This useless twat... Nah.
(Zane tosses the ball over his shoulder and chuckles as he reaches in and grabs out another ball.)
Zane: Not the most talented one, but he will do.
(Zane turns the ball to the camera and reveals Jessica Hardy. )
Zane: Wait, is that...
(He looks harder at the ball.)
Zane: That’s a woman?
(Zane gets a scared and shocked look on his face contorting it in disgust.)
Zane: Jesus, she looks like Uma Thurman and Justin Bieber had a baby and let Kim Kardashian throw it against the wall a few times before a it got into a fight with a electric razor and the razor won. What the fuck is with the hair? You’re a chick, so unless you are a straight up butch or you are in the military there is no fucking reason to shave half your head. I understand she use to be in the military but that was a long time ago. I also understand you are trying to make a statement and shit like that and express yourself and all that bullshit but there are other ways to express yourself then changing your body. I mean now I sound like a fucking preacher but Jesus girl.
(Zane shakes his head.)
Zane: Shaving half your head... What if I shaved half my balls. I would have one cold nut and one sweaty nut. It would feel weird and what I washed then one would be all lathered and the other would be slippery as hell. Jessica, are the wants wrong with society. You make this style look cool because your what a buck fifty. Then you get some five hundred pound chick doing it to look like you because the same hair cut will do that.
(Zane gives the cameras a sarcastic thumbs up.)
Zane: She cuts her hair, and realized it was a mistake because guess what she doesn’t look like you. Instead of blaming herself for her stupid choices or you for being a fucking idiot, she blames the girl that cut her hair because she doesn’t look like you. I understand the whole being comfortable in your own skin and all that bullshit but with fucking morons like you walking around and inspiring the youth of today, we had to know that the world was going to shit.
(Zane sighs and tosses his hands ups in the air.)
Zane: For all you feminists out there please enter your comments below and someone will gladly tell you to go fuck yourself while we wait...
(Zane pauses for a few moment and stares at the camera with a smile on his face)
Zane: Ok, you’re good... good job. Now i’m gonna shift my attention to my favorite person on the WCG roster Danni from the block. Well more so that huge lump of useless shit she is attached to all the time. You know that big hulking hairy tattooed thing she has. You guys like what time talking about that ugly disgusting thing. Worst thing is she has two of them.
(Zane raises an eye brow at the camera.)
Zane: You thought I was talking about Donovan. I was really walking about her ass. Do you see what I did there? HA. I know you all want me to tear into these two pathetic fuck faces but I have something better planned. You see I took my shots at that little twat waffle last time I shot a little video and since I’m not on the roster well they just ignored my jabs. What I have planned they won’t ignore. Youtuber’s, that is about my time. So in my final note, don’t forget to like and subscribe and look what I got...
(Zane reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ticket to the WCG Hype event. Ticket number 179.)
Zane: Front row boys and girls. I promise you, this show will be worth watching. Stay Crazy fuckers.
(Zane flicks the camera off and we fade out.)
Zane: Well HELLO fellow Youtuber’s. That’s right, the WCG and RW think they can censor my ass and not share my shit on their airwaves, I intend to be posting my bitching and complaining about the roster on Youtube until those bastards notice me. Don’t worry though, I will continue to post here after they start airing my stuff but in the mean time it’s just you and me.
(Zane points at the camera and then back to himself. He smiles and nods.)
Zane: So, for my first Youtube video I figured I would introduce....
(Total fake drum rolls plays. Zane rips the sheet off to reveal a giant spinning ball with smaller balls inside. She smiles widely at the camera)
Zane: The Insane Zane Wheel of unfortunate Fucktardary. I can say Fucktardary on Youtube right... Well I hope so. Anyway, I got a lovely call from the WCG and RW Owner Devlin Scott who said “Zane you shoulder be pissing off the whole roster before you’re on it, blah blah blah”. Well Devlin, I understand that you don’t want me cutting any promos or anything like that without being on the promo, but in case you didn’t notice from the video I sent you, i really don’t give a fuck what you want me to do. However I do agree with you on the fact that pissing off the whole roster would be a bad idea. I mean they all basically suck more dick then Christina Aguilera and Brittany spears in the 90s but that’s beside the point. So with that in mind....
(Zane points to the ball.)
Zane: I created this, simply for the simple reason of simplicity I shall deal with these simpletons in a simply sensational matter. Basically I turn this handle and roll the balls pick someone out and tear them apart like the piece of shit they are. Let’s start with someone talented.
(Zane turns the handle and the balls roll about. He opens the little cage and reaches in grabbing out a ball out. He gets a look of disappointment on his face. He turns the ball towards the camera and you see Ryan Keys face. Zane tosses the ball over his shoulder and it bounces on the ground.)
Zane: I said someone talented.
(Zane rolls the spinner again and draws out another ball. He turns it to the camera and it is Gunner Wahl.)
Zane: This useless twat... Nah.
(Zane tosses the ball over his shoulder and chuckles as he reaches in and grabs out another ball.)
Zane: Not the most talented one, but he will do.
(Zane turns the ball to the camera and reveals Jessica Hardy. )
Zane: Wait, is that...
(He looks harder at the ball.)
Zane: That’s a woman?
(Zane gets a scared and shocked look on his face contorting it in disgust.)
Zane: Jesus, she looks like Uma Thurman and Justin Bieber had a baby and let Kim Kardashian throw it against the wall a few times before a it got into a fight with a electric razor and the razor won. What the fuck is with the hair? You’re a chick, so unless you are a straight up butch or you are in the military there is no fucking reason to shave half your head. I understand she use to be in the military but that was a long time ago. I also understand you are trying to make a statement and shit like that and express yourself and all that bullshit but there are other ways to express yourself then changing your body. I mean now I sound like a fucking preacher but Jesus girl.
(Zane shakes his head.)
Zane: Shaving half your head... What if I shaved half my balls. I would have one cold nut and one sweaty nut. It would feel weird and what I washed then one would be all lathered and the other would be slippery as hell. Jessica, are the wants wrong with society. You make this style look cool because your what a buck fifty. Then you get some five hundred pound chick doing it to look like you because the same hair cut will do that.
(Zane gives the cameras a sarcastic thumbs up.)
Zane: She cuts her hair, and realized it was a mistake because guess what she doesn’t look like you. Instead of blaming herself for her stupid choices or you for being a fucking idiot, she blames the girl that cut her hair because she doesn’t look like you. I understand the whole being comfortable in your own skin and all that bullshit but with fucking morons like you walking around and inspiring the youth of today, we had to know that the world was going to shit.
(Zane sighs and tosses his hands ups in the air.)
Zane: For all you feminists out there please enter your comments below and someone will gladly tell you to go fuck yourself while we wait...
(Zane pauses for a few moment and stares at the camera with a smile on his face)
Zane: Ok, you’re good... good job. Now i’m gonna shift my attention to my favorite person on the WCG roster Danni from the block. Well more so that huge lump of useless shit she is attached to all the time. You know that big hulking hairy tattooed thing she has. You guys like what time talking about that ugly disgusting thing. Worst thing is she has two of them.
(Zane raises an eye brow at the camera.)
Zane: You thought I was talking about Donovan. I was really walking about her ass. Do you see what I did there? HA. I know you all want me to tear into these two pathetic fuck faces but I have something better planned. You see I took my shots at that little twat waffle last time I shot a little video and since I’m not on the roster well they just ignored my jabs. What I have planned they won’t ignore. Youtuber’s, that is about my time. So in my final note, don’t forget to like and subscribe and look what I got...
(Zane reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ticket to the WCG Hype event. Ticket number 179.)
Zane: Front row boys and girls. I promise you, this show will be worth watching. Stay Crazy fuckers.
(Zane flicks the camera off and we fade out.)