Post by Damon Graves on Jun 4, 2017 20:29:51 GMT -5
Bulk Mine
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
As the camera pans around, nearly every square inch of shelf space is filled with sweet confections. Any sort of sugary surprise you could imagine can be found in a place like this, and probably quite a few you couldn't. Amidst this treasure trove of treats we find Damon looking over the merchandise, but for whatever reason, he isn't smiling.
Damon: Young Cubs, you must be wondering amongst yourselves why a guy like me would be caught dead in a place like this. After all, I've never been a huge fan of candy… When I was young, I tried gorging myself on the stuff one Halloween. Got so hyper that my dad wanted to knock the crap outta me, and once the sugar rush wore off, I spent almost an hour puking up my guts. Needless to say, I steered clear of that garbage, and I’ve done my damnedest to avoid the sort of syrupy, saccharine shit that spews outta your mouths every single time a camera is even pointed in your directions…
Damon stops to ponder some of the novelty items displayed on the wall. One in particular catches his eye. He pulls it down to get a better look.
Damon: “Old Fart… Pills For The Antiquated”..... Sounds like something I should get for Gray Malone…
Where was I? Oh yeah, the Doublemint Dipshits…..
Aurelio, on a professional level, I do have to give you your props. I did my level best to keep your losing streak alive, but, lo and behold, you got the duke….
Damon pantomimes a “golf clap”.
Damon: Congratulations, you got your very first win without Honey leading you around by your jockstrap…. Hell, even the sun shines on a dog’s ass some days. Hope you have a real good memory, because it’s going to be a long time before it happens again. But….
He pauses, shaking his head.
Damon: On a personal level, your very existence doesn't mean jack shit to me. You don’t respect me personally? That’s fine, because the feeling’s mutual. You may not respect us outside of the ring, but you sure as fuck had best respect what we can do once that bell rings. We didn’t get a damned thing handed to us because we sucked up to the boss, or because of who we’re related to. We came into Redemption Wrestling with a reputation that was earned in that ring, night in and night out. That right there gives us the right to say whatever the fuck we want to, whenever we want. If you don’t like it, then put on your big boy pants and fucking DO something about it. Thing is, chief, I don’t think you can…..
You want to go down the list and rattle off the names of the tag teams that you’re NOT like? That’s one point that I’ll actually agree with you on, sunshine. Every single team you mentioned EARNED the right to face us, but all Honey had to do was whisper a few words in her cousin’s ear, and BLAM, you wind up with a golden opportunity at the biggest show of the year. If that’s how you think great champions are made, then boy, do you have a lesson in store for you.
I heard what you had to say after Aurora’s promo went live. What’s the matter, Alechs? Don’t like when someone questions your manhood by pointing out everything that you’re hiding? Look… all Aurora said was that if you truly loved Honey as much as you say you do, you wouldn’t hide anything from her. You’re the one that twisted it into some bullshit about how Avery must’ve lied to you about what kind of people we are.
Damon resumes his leisurely stroll through the shop.
Damon: Spare me your sob-story of hardship, Alechs. You think you’re the only one in this company that’s ever lost someone important to you? Someone that you loved? Try having your mother die, only for your father to turn around and blame YOU for her death. Try having the man whose very blood flows through your veins cast you out into the street without even so much as batting an eye. Try bouncing from one foster home to another, because no one seemed to be able to handle the issues that you came with.
Or better yet... try spending the better part of four years on the street, without the slightest clue where your next meal was going to come from. That packet of Ramen you were bitching about? I had nights where I would have given my right arm for just a sip of the broth. Sure, your family did what they had to do to survive, but so did I. The major difference between you and I is that at least YOU had family. I had to learn from a young age to survive on my own. At least you HAD a roof over your head; sometimes, my roof was some sheet I pulled out of a motel dumpster.
And when I finally DID manage to make something of myself, what do you think happened? Do you think it was all wine and roses from there on out? NO! Once again, my own father couldn’t handle the fact that I was actually doing something good in my life, so he burned down my family’s livelihood. EVERYTHING I had ever busted my ass for, literally destroyed by fire.
For eight long, agonizing years, I was alone. But eventually, one ray of light broke through the black cloud of my existence, and that ray of light has been with me every step of the way since. My wife... my Harley... has brought me back from the brink more times than I care to discuss, and all because she knows what it’s like to be alone in the world. All because I’ve never kept anything from her... EVER! We protect each other by watching each other’s back, like any TRUE partnership worth a damn in this world.
Am I an abrasive asshole? You’re damned right, and I own up to that fact every second that I draw air in my lungs. I make no apologies for who I am, nor will I do that for my wife. We are responsible for how we see ourselves, not how the rest of the world sees us. And if you can’t handle that, that’s your problem. We’re Rebel Ink, motherfucker…. Not Damage Inc. or the Angelz of Destruction. If you’re gonna try to talk shit, you’d better get your facts straight. Yeah, we were part of both of those groups, but we have always been Rebel Ink, all the way back to day one!
Aurora and I have never made any claims about being upstanding citizens. Sure, there are lines that we definitely won’t cross, but Avery himself has said that we’re the sort of people that what you see is exactly what you get. You can either accept it, like he did, or you can bitch and complain about it, like you’re doing right now. Is it going to change a damn thing about who we are? Abso-fucking-lutely not.
But this little funfest wouldn’t be a tag team match without your partner, now would it? No, I know damn well that Princess Bubblegum is gonna be there too… far be it from me to keep her out in the cold…..
He smirks.
Damon: Did you know that honey, that sweet, sticky golden glop from which your name comes from, is actually the product of a rather disturbing process. I'll spare you all the gory details, but I will say that it involves sacs and a lot of sucking. Funny I should mention sucking, because listening to you speak sucks out my will to live sometimes. I honestly cannot see how you've been able to survive in the modern world for so long. I've had more intellectually stimulating conversations with my manager's 4 year old twins. Yet, for some reason, Devlin Scott decided to make you a Guest General Manager for West Coast Genesis. That must've been mentally draining for you, but then again, so is separating the “M’s” from the “W’s” in your candy dish. As much as I'd love to spend the next few hours going over your mental shortcomings, there are other things about you that annoy the hell outta me. Your boy toy knocked us for having egos, but he might be a little too close to the situation to see that you aren't as humble as he wants everyone to think you are. Case in point, the Guerreros of Lucha Cup that you recently took part in. What was it you said when you found out which block you were in?
(In an annoyingly high falsetto) “I'm in Block H…. H for Honey…”
(In his normal voice) For all I care, it could have been Block G for “Go Fuck Yourself”...
Every time someone says anything bad about you on Twitter, you act all confused, because you can’t fathom why it is that someone doesn’t like you. You simply can’t process the thought that not everyone wants to be around someone that acts like there’s nothing wrong in the world, and that everyone would be fine if they just stuffed their faces with strawberry Kit Kats. Guess what, Sunnymuffins? The world doesn’t work that way. Things aren’t always going to work out in your favor, but for reasons I just can’t understand, this little nugget of truth is unable to penetrate that thick skull of yours. So I guess it falls to us to drive that point home…. Right between your eyes, with our fists. Or you could ignore reality, like you always do, and only focus on the false platitudes that your friends and family want to heap upon you.
He holds up his fists.
Damon: Frankly, I’d put my money on these right here...
You can laugh it up about our failures all you like. You see, we own up to them. We’ve lost before and will no doubt lose in the future, because there’s nobody in this business that has had a lengthy career without tasting defeat. And I’ll tell you, it sure as fuck ain’t sweet; in fact, it’s almost as bitter as the bile that rises in my throat whenever the thought of the Young Cubs taking the Redemption Tag Team Championships away from us at Wrestleforce tries to worm its way into my mind. And I’ll use that. I’ll use that to motivate me to keep what we’ve earned.
So both of you can keep on chanting “I think I can, I think I can” like the Little Engine That Could… Just don’t be surprised at what you find when you get to the top of that hill: A locomotive straight outta Hell’s Railroad, bearing down on your asses at 200mph and ready to knock your asses back down to the bottom of the heap!
Scene ends with Damon stopping in front of a display of liquor-filled confections.
