The Jew Blazer- Loves Pudding

"It's the pudding song....It's a song about pudding and how much I like it. Pudding is one of the best thiiiiiings." Joshua Goldstein sings to himself as he walks down the streets of Toronto enjoying a snack pack.

"Excuse me, Mr. Goldstein?" A wrestling reporter asks.

"It's got dairy in it which is chock full of calcium which helps bones grow. PUDDING! PUDDING IS THE BEST, I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF PUDDING. YOU SHOULD HAVE PAID MORE ATTENTION IN SCHOOL WHEN THEY DID THE FOOD PYRAMID! P-P-P-PUDDING!" Josh sings to himself, still not seeing the reporter and getting very into his song about pudding.

"Mister...Goldstein?" The Reporter asks.

"IN THE UK THEY PRETTY MUCH JUST CALL ANY DESSERT PUDDING AND SOMETIMES THEY PUT MEAT IN IT AND THAT LEAD TO A WEIRD DAY WHEN I WAS GETTING FOOD AFTER A UKWF SHOW AND ASKED FOR PUDDING AND IT TASTED LIKE MEAT AND I THREW UP BUT THAT DIDN'T TURN ME OFF THE CONCEPT OF PUDDING BECAUSE PUDDING IS SO GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!" Josh shout-sings, belting at the top of his lungs his Pudding song that doesn't rhyme and he is clearly making up on the spot.

"MISTER GOLDSTEIN?!" The Reporter says.

"AH!" Josh says, shouting in suprise when he turns to see a camera in his face.

"AH!" The Wrestling Reporter responds, equally suprised by his reaction.

The camera cuts out and comes back to show Josh standing next to the reporter, posing like someone who doesn't know what to do in front of a camera.

"Yes viewers we are here with Joshua Goldstein, well known for his portrayal of comedic wrestling character 'The Jew Blazer." The Reporter says.

"What's so comedic about it?" Josh asks. The Reporter chuckles as if Josh just told a joke but Josh looks legitimately confused.

"What do you think are the odds of you winning one of the 'Riches' in this Rags to Riches match?" The Reporter asks, but Josh seems to be distracted, looking offscreen.

"Do any of you know how long that old lady has been waiting to cross the street?" Josh asks.

"Uh I think she's been there a whi-" The Reporter answers, only to be interrupted by Josh pulling off his tearaway pants and tossing aside his jacket and t-shirt ot reveal the colorful attire of The Jew Blazer. He rushes offscreen and the camera turns to see what he's doing. We find The Blazer helping the old woman across the busy Toronto street, holding her hand as she slowly makes her way. At the other side of the street the old lady starts to open her purse but The Blazer stops her, instead opening his arms and giving her a big ole hug. He crosses back over to the Reporter and the cameraman.

"Sheesh you Canadians are polite in person but you certainly aren't the nicest drivers. What were we talking about? Was it pudding? I have a lot to say about pudding." The Blazer asks excitedly.

"We most certainly were NOT talking about pudding." The Reporter says.

"What else is there to talk about? It's so good." The Blazer asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Rags to Riches." The Reporter says, clearly getting a little frustrated.

"Oh right! I barely understand the rules of that match. I'm just gonna fight and hope everything sorta works out. It's the Jew Blazer way! I mean, two of the companies champions including the WORLD CHAMPION needed to resort to underhanded tactics to beat me which feels pretty good! I mean... it feels bad that management isn't really going to do anything about it but always look on the bright side! That's what I say! I mean, nothing happened to Caroline after she used brass knuckles to dislocate my jaw but if THAT hadn't happened I wouldn't have spent several weeks unable to chew food and wouldn't have rediscovered my love of pudding!" The Jew Blazer says, posing with his hands on his hips and smiling wide.

"Do you...take anything seriously?" The Reporter asks.

"Always. I made a promise that 2017 was the year I won my first singles title and I mean it. I'm also actually quite sick of the fact that apparently it's totally cool to cheat in matches against me. People continue to abuse my good nature and I'm about done letting them get away with it. I'm not talking about going full anti-hero but... well if Devlin isn't going to do something about this then someone has to. I should already have my hands on a title but... Nope. People continue to be rewarded for not playing fair. I just don't get it. Matthew Shields continues to turn up his nose at me when he showed the world that he panics at the idea of having to face me in a fair fight. I'm going to do something about this and soon everyone in Redemption Wrestling is going to see that it's new Chosen One is one of the Chosen People." The Jew Blazer says, happy with that little catchprase he came up with.

"Wow...that was actually pretty profound." The Reporter says.

"Plus as a Champ... can you imagine how much pudding I'd be able to afford? I could probably get a sponsorship from Snack Pack!" The Blazer says, just now having that idea.

"Aaaaaand we lost him again." The Reporter says.

"Do they do sponsorships? I really hope I can get in contact with them. Have you ever heard of an athlete or celebrity being sponsored by pudding?" The Blazer asks.

"Uh....no. I'm certain there is no celebrity sponsored pudding." The Reporter says with a sigh.

"Well I feel like my future is bright here in... SYLVESTER STALLONE!" The Jew Blazer says, taking out his phone and googling something.

"Uh...what about Sylvester Stallone?"

"BOOM!" The Blazer says, holding up his phone to show an advertisement for Sylvester Stallone's pudding.



"This has been...profoundly stupid." The Reporter says.

"Rags to Riches! Whatever that means! I'ma kick some faces and win whatever this match is and go do the thing whatever that means!" The Blazer says before running offscreen with his cape spread out.